Mind Shatter
by H.Skyfire
Summary: Something is not right. Jareth needs Sarah's help to restore the Underground but is unable to find her. That's because Sarah's parents have had her institutionalized.
1. You Have No Power Over Me

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of the characters or scenes that originated in Labyrinth.  I don't own the rights to, or claim authorship to any lyric, or quoted line, etc. from any other work, be it song or written word.

**A/N**: This is my first fan fiction piece. The first chapter is mainly background stuff to set the feeling of the story, so I hope it's not too boring. Please give me feedback.

**Ch. 1** – You Have No Power Over Me…

             More than a year later and the words still rang in Jareth's head, maddeningly.  He loathed the day they'd been uttered; the day a single teenaged mortal girl had entered his world and single-handedly brought everything to a crashing halt.  He loathed that, even now, she didn't fully know how greatly she'd altered his kingdom – a kingdom that had remained virtually unchanged for a millennia.  He loathed that he'd been the one to bring her over, thus sealing his own doom.  But above all, he loathed that he loved her – even now.

             He'd watched her for a long time before she'd come to him.  He was first attracted to her utter belief in and fascination with all things Fae.  In the old days, before the world Aboveground had become so modern and jaded, people had believed.  They were very superstitious then, and from that came a belief that veritably breathed life into his world.  All of the seven realms had prospered.  Overwhelmed mothers from Aboveground wished away children whom they could not feed.  The large families and meager incomes of the day made a combination that became reason enough to wish away the half-starved runts, especially those who were naughty and full of mischief.  It was a situation that benefited everyone.  A Fae family usually adopted the children (unless they were especially unpleasant, in which case, by their own nastiness they were turned into goblins).  It was a better existence than that which they had left behind.  Childless couples were given a chance at having a family.  All of the belief given and magic used kept everything vibrant and lively. Aboveground, the mere threat kept the remaining children very well behaved indeed.  Times were good. 

             As times changed, though, as the world above became more "enlightened", became more and more modernized, they lost their belief.  People became dependant on things that they invented and there was no longer any room for things which could not be seen immediately with the eyes.  Those who still held to the old ways were mocked and shunned.  The Underground began to fade.  The great dragon-serpents who could at one time be seen fearlessly traversing the skies, dwindled in number and soon could rarely be seen outside their deep caves.  The beings that shape-changed to ride the waves of the Deep Sea rarely broke the surface.  The land and sea did survive and exist, but not as it once had.  Things got better whenever small groups of mortals did believe and understand at different times and places, but they were few and far between.  What had once been fact had now been reduced to legends in their world.  Fairytales they were called – oh the insult!  But some knew better.

             One such one was Sarah.  As a child she'd been told stories by her mother-fantastical stories, made all the more real because of her mother's inherent talent for acting and role-playing.  She'd even given Sarah a book that she'd come across in the back of a shabby old bookstore.  Labyrinth.  From the first time Sarah had listened, wide eyed and silent to the tale therein, she'd believed.  More than that, she'd dreamed it, fantasized it, and all but wished herself away into it.

             When her mother left, she clung to it all the more fiercely than ever, her seven-year-old mind hoping she could connect with her mother through it the way they'd once been able to.  Like a spark of flame in the dark, this intense longing drew Jareth towards it where he could not help but watch.  He saw how even this one little girl did such good in his world.  He saw her fierce determination to dream, her loneliness, and the aching void left by her uncaring mother and he wondered if she wouldn't be better off Underground.  He began to plant things in her world where she'd be sure to find them-yard sales, toy stores, book stores, and even the places in her backyard where he knew only she went; little things to remind her of the story, to make it seem more real to her.  He waited for the day she would realize this world held nothing for her and wish herself away – to him.

             It was not to be.  She did not cease to dream as she grew, but things happened which served to distract her.  Her father remarried when she was thirteen; a year later he and his new wife had a baby.  Sarah resented this baby for having two loving parents where she had only one distracted one.  Her mother, always on location with her acting career, was nearly impossible to find and rarely called.  She saw this new baby as one more barrier between her and the one remaining parent she did have.  Further, every perceived fault that was found with her by her "parents" was now glaringly apparent in contrast with this child she just knew would be perfect in every way.  So, she wished _him_away.

             Jareth played along, doing everything she wanted.  He played the villain to her heroine, giving her the challenge she subconsciously, but so desperately needed, all that and much more.  He played the part a little too well for she didn't understand what he was trying to do for her, misunderstood his actions and intentions, and so threw his offer back in his face, not even knowing it was genuine.  He supposed he didn't blame her-part of her journey had been one of self-discovery and she would have learned nothing in the end had she chosen self over family.  She might have retained those traits she could do better without: immaturity, distrust, selfishness.  If only there had been a way for her to have learned that and yet stayed.  In time, he could have taught her.  He could have taught her so many things, shown her an entirely new life, one who would not shun her but rather praise her for her uniqueness.  She wouldn't have even had to forsake her brother or her old life-it was possible to walk between the worlds, if one was skilled enough.  But he knew that she could learn – she had it in her.  The possibilities were endless, and all so casually thrown away with six simple words. 

             "You have no power over me…"


	2. Lonely Child

**Ch. 2** – Lonely Child 

_You're such a lonely child / how pensive, how sad you seem to me / believe me- if it were in my power / I'd fill each passing hour / how quiet it must be / I can see / with only me for company --Les Miserables_

             Sarah sighed, and leaned back, letting the sun baked brick warm her back.  She closed her eyes for a moment, listening to the cacophony that surrounded her.  Something flew past her head; some passing kids stepped over her outstretched legs.  She opened her eyes.  Damn - she was still at school.  If anyone had bothered to notice this girl sitting there on the ground, reading a book they'd have seen she hadn't turned a page in the past ten minutes.  They didn't.  The book was just a front anyway.  She _had _been reading it when she first sat down, but she'd lost interest.  Besides, it gave her the chance to watch everyone around her without looking like she was staring.  She listened to a group of kids tear down a movie that had come out during the past week.  She watched two other girls, a little farther away, have an argument.  Everyone had something to say and someone to say it to.  More importantly, they had someone to hear them.  No one even looked her way.  Oh well – it was all drama anyway.  Sometimes being here too long made Sarah feel like she was suffocating.

---

             Sarah kicked at the leaves as she walked home.  It had grown slightly colder since lunch.  Winter was not quite over and the air still had a chill to it, but even so she preferred to walk.  School was enough; she couldn't stand to be around those people any longer than that.  It used to be somewhat bearable when her friend Josh was still there.  He was good for a laugh and amusingly outspoken enough to put people in their place, which was really fun to watch, but he dropped out of school last month.  Sarah was forced to go it alone after that.

             Robert watched his daughter through the curtains as she plodded down the street toward the house.  He was worried about her.  She'd always been quiet and withdrawn, but lately was more so.  She seemed almost angry now.  He suspected it had something to do with his ex-wife.

             *The way Sarah saw it things had been going okay.  She was used to not having her mother around.  She didn't really care anymore.  Then, last summer she'd called.  Out of the blue.  Not only that, but she wanted Sarah to spend July and August with her.  All these emotions she thought were worked out came to the surface.  _Who did her mom think she was to just show up after eight and a half years, like nothing had happened? _ Part of Sarah wanted to just tell her to go to hell, feel the satisfaction of giving her what she deserved.  But she knew that if she did, her mom would probably _never_ call again and to tell the truth, there was still that seven-year-old part of Sarah that wanted her mommy back.  So she went, mixed feelings and all.  Things were weird, and she tried to have a good attitude – there she was, after all, hanging out with her mom and all of her cool theater friends in London.  But she was still mad.  Trying to be thankful for all her mom was doing for her, but still hurt.  So she just reasoned out in her mind that parenting hadn't come easy to her mother, so she just did what she knew best – she followed the dream.  Sarah knew she was making excuses for her, and it hurt a little that she was the one making them rather than her mother, but she ignored this. Things started to get better and she was actually starting to have fun.  Then the bombshell was dropped.  Lymphatic Cancer.  Three months to live.  It really did a number on Sarah.  Now there were all these questions.  'If you hadn't been sick, would you have even bothered to call me?'  That was the one that stuck out in Sarah's mind the most.  Her mother said she would have, but she knew better.  She'd finally half convinced herself that her mother really cared about _her_and it was just because she was sick.  But how can you blame somebody who is dying?  She couldn't bring herself to be so cruel to someone facing death, family no less, so she swallowed her anger and played the good daughter.  She even stayed through September, even though it would mean starting school late.  She stayed until she buried her mother and then she came home.

             Robert didn't know what to expect from Sarah when she arrived.  He knew she had years of abandonment issues and anger inside, anger that no longer had an outlet, for that outlet was now gone.  How do you reconcile that?  Where does the anger go now?  He tried to prepare for anything, but wasn't quite prepared for – nothing.  Sarah came off the plane, went home and started school as if nothing had happened.  She played good, said she was doing fine, and _never_ cried.  That was a tip off that things were not right, that and the headaches.  She never complained but her father knew because she was always popping some pill or other, rubbing her temples, or going to bed early.  He first began to get really worried when her weight started to drop.  She was at the gym almost every day now, not the usual twice a week that used to be her normal routine.  Once he went early to pick her up and while waiting in his car outside, he caught sight of her through the glass.  He was alarmed by the determined, almost obsessive look on her face as she pushed herself too much.  When she climbed off the bike and headed off to the locker room her hands shook and she limped.  A weight instructor stopped her on the way and by the way he was gesturing to the equipment, Robert knew he was telling her to go easier.  Sarah just nodded and limped away. * 

             Robert turned away from the window.  He was definitely worried about his daughter, but Karen, his wife, told him not to be.  She said that Sarah was just being a teenager and would grow out of it.  Then she led him to the kitchen and poured him another scotch.


	3. You Remember

**Ch. 3** – You Remember

             Sarah sat in her room, trying to concentrate on her homework.  She really tried, but she kept looking out her window, watching the trees losing their leaves one by one.  Then she'd glance at her clock and another fifteen or twenty minutes would have gone by. 

             She was nearly done writing an essay on the Treaty of Versailles when she felt a tug on her foot.  She dropped her notebook next to her on the bed, and greeted a toothy smiled Toby.

             "Hey kiddo," she said, pulling him onto the bed.

             "AhhhSsahh," he said, chewing on a finger.  It _kind_ of sounded like her name. 

             "Ew, silly.  You're drooling all over me!" she said, laughing and tickling her brother.  He squealed, rolling up like a pill bug, trying to protect his sides and round tummy.  Sarah set him on the floor, and let him play in her room as she finished her essay. 

             When she was done she crawled onto the floor to see what Toby had gotten himself into.  He was playing with some of her old dolls.  Once, she would have been angry but now she didn't mind.  There was not much he could hurt.  In fact he was studying them more than anything, holding them up, inspecting plastic eyes and embroidered mouths.  Incidentally these were the dolls that looked like some of the friends she'd made in the Labyrinth.  It was funny; Toby always had this conspiratorial look on his face when he was with her, like they shared a secret.  She supposed they did.  Sarah didn't know if and how many other people had ever been to that world.  She figured that others had in the past but she knew enough to know that it wasn't something that happened every day.  She and Toby had been on an adventure, the kind of adventure most people only read about.  Parts of the trip had been frightening, but most of it was actually kind of exciting. Either way, it had changed both her and Toby.  They had come home different in some small way.  They were something more than before.

             A few months ago Toby had turned two.  Sarah had shopped for three days before finding the perfect gift.  She was so surprised when she saw it lying there in that toy store.  A furry goblin doll.  It looked surprisingly like one of the goblins from the Labyrinth-that dumb one with the big nose.  She'd wrapped it in shiny paper and given it to Toby that night after dinner.  Sure enough something in his eyes said he recognized it.  Sarah noticed the way Karen looked at it, though.

             Toby was busy talking his mixture of baby talk and the few words he knew to the dolls in front of him.  Sarah smiled, went to her desk and began brushing her hair.  Her eyes fell on the picture of her family, or the family she used to have.  Merlin was still here, but he was getting pretty old.  Her dad was here in body only-he was so distracted by other things.  The picture was so warm and sunny.  Sarah sighed and clenched one fist in her lap, jumping when she felt a slight pain from her fingernails digging into her palm.  That eased the tension a little, let her breathe again.  Toby wandered over, pausing at her elbow. 

             Sarah looked over, dropping her head onto her arms, a little more at level with him.  She smiled but it was not her he was looking at.  He was staring at a statuette that stood by her mirror. 

             He pointed a finger and said, "Dat!"

             Sarah drew in a shaky breath. 

             "So you remember him too, do you?" she asked softly, pulling her brother into her lap.  "Was he nice to you?  It seems like he would be, with all of the kids that have been wished to him in times past.  I'm sure he's used to dealing with kids and all.  It's like his job, I think."

             Her eyes fell on Toby's soft hair.  Smoothing its unruly waves, something occurred to her.

             "I just hope you don't remember what I did someday and blame me for it.  I was a stupid sister, okay?"

             Toby laid his head back on her shoulder, looked at her in the mirror and grinned.  Sarah smiled back.

             "Do you remember this?" she asked, pointing to the crystal on her desk.  It was sitting in a nest of sorts that she had fashioned from pieces of silk and leather that she'd found in an old box of art supplies in her closet.

             "I actually found this in your crib that night.  I think this is the one that he threw to you.  You chased it all over that room.  Scared me half to death, you know, you weren't affected by gravity there or something but I was.  I couldn't get to you, couldn't walk up the wall like the two of you could.  At least I don't think…"

             She looked over to the Relativity poster that hung on her wall.

             "It would be interesting if I could all along but just didn't know how to tap into it."  She snorted, "Would've saved me a lot of time.  Anyway, I guess you must have finally caught it.  He never noticed, or didn't care.  I hope you don't mind that I kept it."

             Sarah laughed at the faces Toby made at her and neither of them noticed the figure silently watching them through the crack in the doorway.  Karen had heard almost every word and her eyes narrowed as she spied the things on Sarah's desk that they'd been playing with.  She didn't like this one bit.

---

             "I don't like it Robert.  She's getting worse!" Karen said, as she poured a fair amount of bourbon into her tea.

             "Dear, Sarah has always been different than other kids her age.  She's just into different stuff.  I know it's strange for her to still play pretend at this age but it could be worse.  She could be out smoking, partying…"he finished lamely.

             "Yes, I'll admit I thought she'd have grown _out_ of this by now, and I guess she _could_be out sleeping around," she said, ignoring her husband's frown, "and while it was simple pretending it was okay, I _guess_.  But it's gone beyond that.  Robert, she actually believes this stuff now."

             "Are you sure?" he asked in disbelief.

             "You should hear the way she carries on!  She always talks about her 'friends' that she met recently, although I've sure never seen anyone over here. Remember when she gave Toby that _thing _on his birthday?  You asked her what it was and she said _Toby would know._  And I've heard her, and I **know **you've caught her at this too – she talks to herself in the mirror!  Robert, she's losing touch with reality!"

             He tried to ignore this, tried to drown his sorrows in his scotch.  His wife wouldn't let him.  Not this time.

             "Robert, she's sick."

             "It's not that bad!  You never cared before, why now?" he asked, turning accusing eyes on her.

             "Since she started dragging my son into these twisted games.  She's feeding him all these stories and I heard her talking about this man today.  You should have heard her.  She even asked Toby if he remembered him.  I don't know what she's done but I don't like it.  I'm concerned about her being alone with the baby."

             "I'll talk to her," he said, swirling the ice in his drink before downing the last of it.

             "You always say that!" Karen said sourly to his retreating form.


	4. Beyond Reach

First of all, I'd like to thank everyone for their reviews. It helps so much to know how this is sounding to you guys, and in what ways it could be better - it's so encouraging. Thanks a bunch! 

**Ch.4** – Beyond Reach 

             Jareth restlessly paced through the drafty halls of his castle.  The throne room was a messy ruckus, with goblins running everywhere, no doubt very inebriated.  The noise carried through the walls and floors.  He sighed deeply.  There would be little sleep tonight.

             He went into his private quarters and from there out to the adjoining balcony.  It was somewhat quieter here and the moon, nearly half way through its nightly journey across the inky sky, shone down and cast a soft glow on everything.  He looked down at the maelstrom that was his Labyrinth.  Once, this tameless land had been entirely under his control.  Through sheer force he had made the living essence that was the Labyrinth bend to his will.  It had been hard work in the beginning, for this essence was very strong willed itself.  But not strong enough.  He shaped it and molded it, leading it to be a very great puzzle, a challenge worthy of any who dared run it.  It had to be something he could feel was worthy of representing him; it could be no less.  The Labyrinth hadn't let him down either. Stories spread like wildfire throughout the seven realms. 

             Some from those realms, like the fairy people, and the dwarves came to see it for themselves.  They would wander their way through the forests, occasionally coming into contact with those traveling its paths.  A few even wanted to stay and hired themselves over to Jareth.  This worked well for him – he usually used them as a means of confusing, distracting or otherwise keeping those on their way to the Labyrinth's center from actually getting there.  Once in a great while a courtier or some high official from the Northern Kingdom came calling and wanted to watch the hapless human try to find his or her way through, try and fail. 

             'Until that one…' Jareth's fingers tightened on the wall he was leaning against.  Word of that had spread too, faster than he would have liked.  No one could believe that someone had finally beaten his game.  The talk was bad enough but he could have handled it.  What was worse was that for the first time he'd lost control. 

             'It was Sarah.  She distracted me,' he thought to himself.  He'd never before thought of something other than winning the game.  This time he had – he'd thought of her.  That momentary lapse of control was all that the Labyrinth needed.  As she faced him and spoke those defeating words, it wrenched control away back to itself.  He soon found he couldn't alter it in any way.  The many traps therein were now beyond his control and therefore a danger to him as well.  But the Labyrinth was not used to this freedom – too many years had it bowed to another's will.  The magic in it went wild.  It moved and changed almost constantly now. Many left its borders and those that stayed kept to themselves.  The place became a danger to itself as much as to those within it.  Jareth despaired ever finding the answer.  Then, months later, it came to him.  Sarah.  Because she was responsible for giving the Labyrinth its freedom, it might listen to her.  He'd begun to suspect that it had helped her in some way, knowing that she might grant it that freedom.  He wouldn't be surprised at this point to find a small kernel of magic inside of her, given by the Labyrinth, deep in some place where even she did not yet know it existed.  If he could somehow bring her back, she could coax it back under control – his control.  He decided to try it.  After all, she owed him that much.

             But another problem arose.  He could not watch her as freely as he had once been able to.  His crystals only showed her image when she expressed great emotion.  Even then she was the only one in focus, she surroundings always very hazy.  And he couldn't actually reach her through them; he couldn't do much of anything but watch.  She didn't know this but he'd been with her when her mother died.

             The only other way to see her was to change to his owl form and fly the distance, only hoping he could accomplish something in person, which didn't seem likely.  He decided to do this now, whatever his chances were.  Anything was better than standing here, brooding.  He climbed onto the granite balcony wall and jumped, quickly shape changing to his other form.  For a moment of pure exhilaration he climbed up and up, feeling nothing but the rush of the wind and his muscled wings beating powerfully.  He rode the air currents and now speed was his friend.  The trees streaked by as he winged his way into the Aboveground.

             When he finally spotted Sarah's house he slowed and circled the roof several times before landing in the tree next to her window.  He had to be careful for she now knew this shape and he didn't want her on the defensive too soon.  He needed to watch and find the perfect moment to appear before her.  It would be nice if he could just trick her into wishing herself away, but he knew she was smarter than that.  So he stayed in the dense shadows, biding his time. 

             Jareth peered into the window carefully and could see Sarah lying on her bed, listening to music.  It was loud and he couldn't tell what was producing it. She certainly wasn't making it, for though she occasionally opened her mouth and sang along, the music was obviously not originating with her.  It seemed to be in the very air.  Being as it was that he rather liked music himself, he didn't find it all that unpleasant to listen to.  Apparently Sarah's stepmother did not agree.  With a loud bang, she burst into her room and demanded that Sarah turn it down before " the neighbors complained".  Sarah got up and without a word, opened up a box by her bed, which surprisingly silenced the music at once.  She pulled out a disc made of some shiny material, and then, grabbing a smaller contraption with buttons on it and a wire running from it and put it in that.  She found the other end of that wire and, giving her stepmother a pointed look, put the large earpiece connected to it over her ears.  The older woman huffed and left the room without another word.  Watching this, Jareth chuckled softly.  He ruffled his feathers a little to keep out the cold, and tried to make himself more comfortable on his branch.

             'Not tonight,' he told himself silently.  'She's much too riled up right now.  I'm almost afraid to imagine what she would do if I showed up now.'


	5. I'll Talk To Her

**Ch. 5** – I'll Talk To Her…

            The next morning found Sarah sitting at the kitchen table trying to feed Toby, who was in his highchair.  He seemed more interested in playing with the dark red jelly on his toast than in actually eating it.  They were both getting very sticky.  Karen was standing a few feet away, making tea.  Robert walked in carrying a plastic mug of coffee and his briefcase.  He was somewhat frantically looking for his keys.  Sarah heard her stepmother clear her throat but paid it no mind and so missed the look they exchanged over her head. 

            "Oh yeah, uh honey… I mean you Sarah," her father began. 

            Sarah looked up.

            "I promised your step mom I'd do the shopping today but I might need a little help.  Would you mind coming with me after school?"

            By this time Sarah was barely listening.  She was watching Karen "discreetly" pour some kind of liquor into her cup.  Sarah couldn't tell what kind it was unless she leaned way over and she didn't want to draw any attention to herself.  She nodded distractedly and her dad, satisfied, bade them all good bye and walked out the kitchen door.

---

            Sarah stared listlessly out the window watching the houses and trees go by in the dusty sunlight as her dad drove to the market.  The radio played softly but neither of them paid much attention to it. 

            "Uh, honey, I wanted to talk to you about something," Robert said at long last.

            Sarah looked over at him curiously.  "What?" she asked hesitantly.

            "Well, … now I've always known you have a really strong imagination, and personally I'm one to encourage that kind of thing in a young person.  But lately it seems like you've been daydreaming way more than usual.  Karen was concerned that maybe it is becoming too much."  He could see his daughter stiffen at the very mention of that name.  "Don't jump to any conclusions – she has your best interest at heart."

            "Yeah, I'll bet," Sarah said dryly. 

            "Well, I just wanted to know" - 

            "Have you ever found something out that you know," she interrupted, "you just _know_ no one will believe?  So you just kept it to yourself, just to be safe?  It works for awhile, but then it kind of starts eating at you."

            "What have you found out?"

            Sarah was quiet for a minute.  "Okay, you have to think of it this way – everybody in the world, at one time thought that the earth was flat.  Then some guys said that it wasn't.  People laughed, they even called them crazy.  Of course, according to everything people knew up until that point, they were.  But they were _right, _so they _weren't_ really crazy then, were they?"

            "I guess not," her father said hesitantly. 

            "And it's happened at other times too.  They thought once that everything revolved around the earth, but some people found out that it wasn't true.  Every time someone has found out that something commonly accepted to be true no longer is and does something about it has been disbelieved and mocked.  So you have to approach it from that angle.  You need to have an open mind.  It's going to sound crazy but it just might be true.  You have to be prepared."

            "What did you find out?" he asked, restating his earlier question.

            "Well there's this other place.  It's not another planet as far as I can tell, but more like another realm, or something.  Did you know that a lot of the things we grow up reading that are passed off as fiction are actually true?  Not everything of course, but it's like we grow up taught to accept that it's all make believe, stuff like magic and fairies and dragons.  Of course not everything is always true, but some of it _is_.  I know because I've been there.  I went and I met all of these strange people and creatures and most of them were really nice.  They helped me," she laughed, "well not all of them, some just bugged me nearly to death.  There was also this guy, he's kind of a ruler of sorts there and he kept trying to trick me into staying forever.  I don't know if he actually wanted me to stay or if he was just trying to trick me into losing the game.  Anyway, I know this sounds crazy and to tell you the truth, a year ago I probably wouldn't have ever thought this could happen to _me_, but it did.  This is the time to take a chance, be open-minded and trust me that this place is out there.  It's not dangerous or anything.  I don't even think you can get there on your own, you kind of have to call on them and then they'll come and take you away," she finished in a rush that surprised even her.

            Robert was stone silent.  Sarah suddenly felt quite warm and looking out the window, she realized that they'd arrived at the store already and were now just sitting in the car.  Her father had turned the car off but had yet to make a move to get out.  She began to feel that she'd said something wrong and now regretted having said so much.  She had known it was risky but had needed someone to confide in so badly that when her dad asked she couldn't resist.  She'd desperately hoped he'd believe her, or at least consider the possibility.  Now she feared what his silence might mean, and where five minutes ago she'd had much to say, she now found herself unable to even open her mouth.  There were several uncomfortable moments and then her father gave her a weak smile.

            "It's getting late, we better get in there and get the food or I'll never hear the end of it from Karen."

            Sarah smiled at the obvious tension breaker.  They went inside and nothing more was said on the subject.

---

            That evening, Robert sat at the desk in his study, his hands cupping his chin as he stared at the wall.  His wife stood behind him, her hands on his slumped shoulders.

            "I had no idea it was that bad," he said quietly.  He missed Karen's smirk.

            "She's unstable Robert.  Maybe she's having these memories because she's hallucinating or something.  I don't know but one thing is clear.  We've definitely got to do something about this."

            He sighed deeply.  "I know, we need to get her some help.  I'll make some calls tomorrow and see if there's anyone she can talk to.  Maybe they can evaluate her, let us know our options."

            "Does insurance cover this?" Karen asked.

            "It should.  Anyway, I'll find out in the morning.  Right now I just want to go to sleep."


	6. Confessions

Ch. 6 – Confessions

            "She's so weird."

            "I know, will you _look_ at her?  What is she doing?"

            "She barely talks to anyone.  It's like she thinks she's better than us, or something.  You know Samantha, that girl in biology?"

            The other girls nodded.

            "Well, she told me that she tried to talk to her once.  They had art together.  Anyway, she was drawing this picture of some guy, Sam told me it was all exotic and weird looking, so she asked her about it and she got all red in the face and said it was someone she knew once.  So Sam asked, kind of jokingly, if it was a _friend of hers_ and she said 'not exactly' or something, and then Sam asked where he was from 'cause he looked real foreign and stuff and she said 'Oh, not anywhere around here!'  Like it was some private joke or something.  Sam was like, " 'kay, _see_ya!"

            The three girls laughed, glancing over at the object of their ridicule.  The teacher, lost in his own ramblings, finally cleared his throat and gave them a pointed look.  They quieted down but kept chuckling quietly until suddenly Sarah looked directly at them.  Her face was expressionless, yet it was enough to make them choke on their laughter and look down awkwardly.  She went back to drawing on the inside of her arm.  With her black fountain pen she'd managed to make an elaborately complex design.  It was almost labyrinthine…  At any rate it was better than listening to her personal finance teacher talk about how to become a millionaire by the time you were sixty.  She honestly didn't understand how someone could actually be paid to misdirect so many people – to make them believe that money was so important, that it could make your life one ounce better. 

            'What if you spent your whole life pursuing one stupid goal you didn't even fully believe in, in the first place, and then died a day before you reached it?' she thought to herself, horrified at the thought of wasting one's life so foolishly.  She almost wanted to laugh.  At the teacher, at the girls sitting two rows to her left, at everyone – they were so stuck in their insipid perceptions and ways.  They'd never see what was important. 

            'But what **is **important?'  Sarah couldn't quite say anymore.  So much had happened, so much had been said, that she feared she almost didn't know herself anymore.  She sometime wondered if she too wasn't pursuing the wrong goal.  Namely staying rooted in this life, this world.  Whenever she let her thoughts run down this path she found that she felt a strange feeling of dread in her heart.  An almost panicky feeling, a sort of 'what have I done' that she would quickly bury and ignore.  She did this because she feared what would happen if she fully pursued _that_thought to its end result.  Still she could not deny the implications that beat at her mind like the wings of a moth – soft, yet insistent.  That everyday the reality of this place impressed her less and seemed like less and less of an ideal option.

            Sarah's mind drifted back to the conversation that had taken place that morning.  Her stomach clenched as the anger returned.  It had been almost a week since she'd had that conversation with her dad.  Nothing more had been said about it and she had pretty much forgotten about it.  Then, this morning, as she was about to walk out the front door, Karen called her back.  When Sarah appeared in the doorway, her stepmother was busy wiping Toby's mouth, paying way more attention to her son in his highchair than it seemed would be needed.

            Without looking up she said, "I need you home right after school today.  You have an appointment at three."

            "What, like for a doctor?" Sarah asked, smirking.

            "Well… she's more like a counselor.  She just wants to go over some things with you," Karen finished, still careful not to look her stepdaughter in the eye.

            Sarah dropped her backpack and walked the rest of the way into the kitchen.

            "What?!  Why are you sending me to a counselor?"

            "Calm down Sarah!  She just wants to know how you're doing, you know, about your mother and stuff."

            Sarah glared at Karen.  "What did you tell her about me?  Wait – forget it.  I don't even want to know."  She turned and practically ran out of the house.

            Even now, hours later, she wanted to scream.  What right did they think they had to meddle with her life like this?

---

            As it had to, the afternoon arrived and all to soon Sarah found herself sitting on a lumpy brown couch with worn spots in a slightly too small room with posters on the wall saying 'You Can Make the Difference' and 'Success Comes In Cans' and other such false affirmatives all over the walls.  A lady with a beaky face and wire-framed glasses was currently studying her closely.  She sat behind a large oak desk with a large folder opened in front of her.  When Sarah answered the questions she asked, she took notes in this folder, and once Sarah noticed this she tried to make it a point not to answer any more but wasn't always successful. She could feel the weight of the counselor's stare in the smallness of the room.

            "Sarah, your silence is telling me that this must be hard to talk about."

            Sarah's head snapped up.  "No, it's just that I don't see the point of this."

            The counselor, whose name was Laurel, blinked and said: "Well you're here because your parents were concerned that you're withdrawing too much."

            "_Parent_** – **she's _not_ my mother.  And my dad just does whatever she says so…"

            "Yes," Laurel interrupted, flipping through papers, "your biological mother passed away four or five months ago, is that correct?"

            Sarah nodded, looking out the dirty window.

            "How are you doing with that?" Laurel asked lightly.

            "Fine."

            Laurel let the silence draw out to see if Sarah would add anything else.  When she didn't, Laurel asked, "Are you sure?  Your father says you won't talk about it.  That's never a good sign.  He also says you haven't been eating very regularly."

            Sarah gave her a weird look.  "So, I don't get hungry very much, so what?  He never even asks to talk about my mom anyway, so I don't know what that's about."

            "Well it's hard sometimes.  You know, you _could_ initiate the conversation," Laurel replied pointedly.  "But for now, why not just tell me about her?"

            "What is there to tell?  You were right when you called her my _biological_ mother, because that's about all she was.  She walked out on us when I was seven.  We got in the way of her big plans.  Then she died, end of story."

            "I thought you stayed with her right before she died," Laurel paused in her note taking to scan the paper.

            "Yeah, that's the really great part.  She made me think that she wanted to hang out with me because she missed me.  Hell, it was the first time she'd visited me in years.  But it was only to tell me she was dying.  It was more for her own conscience than anything," Sarah said with a bitter smile.

            "So you're angry with her, and that's okay."

            "No, … I don't really know what I feel, … I'm," Sarah didn't finish.  She sighed, looking out the window once more.

            "The only problem is how to deal with that anger.  Emotions, even angry ones are normal and to be expected.  They are healthy.  What's not healthy is making up alternate realities for yourself and believing them."

            "What are you talking about?" Sarah exclaimed.

            "Everyone fantasizes to a certain extent – sometimes it's a way to make sense of things, to find some meaning in our life.  The danger is when you begin to have difficulty in separating what's real from what's not."

            "No, that's not it at all!  This is completely different from that.  It has nothing to do with my mother."

            "Well, anyway, your time is up.  Come and see me next week and we'll talk about this some more, okay?"

            Sarah didn't even have a chance to reply as she was shuffled out of the door.  Her father and Karen stood up when they saw her but she merely eyed them and walked by.

---

            The next week was no better.  Laurel sat regally at her oh-so-tidy desk in front of her framed diplomas and numerous certificates and had her mind made up before Sarah could even open her mouth to defend herself. 

            'Innocent until found guilty, my ass,' she thought to herself glumly.

            "You have to realize that it's okay to be angry with her.  She did something wrong when she left you and your father and the fact that she died doesn't change that.  But you also need to stop taking it so personally.  She probably didn't do this purposely to hurt you.  Everyone has their moments of pure selfishness, don't they?"

            Sarah's face turned red.  She knew there was no way that Laurel could know about what she'd done to Toby last year but it seemed to be a very perceptive thing to say.  A few minutes went by.

            "So, are you eating any better?" Laurel asked.

            Sarah groaned and looked at the ceiling.  "Why are you so hung up on that?  Who cares if I eat or not?  It's bad enough with my dad and Karen watching me like a hawk and now I have to get it here too?"

            "Sarah you really do focus on the negative too much – that kind of attitude will only hinder your recovery."

            "What recovery?  I'm **_not crazy_**!!"  Sarah briefly forgot to keep her voice in check and was embarrassed that she'd shown her emotions so strongly.  She shut her mouth and quickly put up a wall that she hoped wouldn't fall so quickly the next time.  Laurel said nothing.

            "So, have your friends called upon you lately?"

            Sarah bit her lip.  "What's that supposed to mean?"

            Laurel flipped back a few pages.  "Didn't you tell me that you made some friends on your journey, and that sometimes these friends talk to you through your mirror?"

            Sarah took a deep breath.  She knew it was probably a bad idea to keep telling people what she knew – being forced to come here was evidence enough of that.  But pride kept her from keeping quiet and pretending she was wrong when she knew she wasn't.

            "Do you really want to know, or are you just going to be close-minded like them?"

            "By them you mean your parents," Laurel smiled wryly at Sarah's glare, "excuse me, your father and Karen."

            "Yes."

            "No, I don't believe so," she said, pushing her glasses higher up on her nose.  "Tell me."

            Sarah took another breath.  "Well see, my mirror, for some reason, has become this portal, or something, between here and the Underground, that's what this world is called.  I don't know why, maybe it's always been that way, but anyway that's how my friends contact me.  And I know it sounds crazy but, come on, can't you even accept the possibility of it being true?  I mean, we grow up being told what to believe and we _do_ that because it's all we've ever been taught to do – just accept what _seems_ logical and _never_ question anything.  But don't you ever _want_ to question something?

            Laurel smiled.  "It is good to question things Sarah, but don't delude yourself into thinking that imaginary worlds are better than reality, even if that reality is somewhat less than ideal."

            "You don't believe me."

            "I didn't say that."

            "You didn't have to.  I can tell.  I knew it – I shouldn't have said anything.  When will I learn, huh?"

            "Learn what?"

            "Learn to just let you people think you're right.  Learn to just smile and nod – play dumb.  I need to let you guys think you can fit me into your nice little _box_ where you can _control_ me, you know, because it makes you _feel_ better or something." 

             Sarah was quickly losing control.  She didn't want to show her emotions but she was sick of being shot down and misunderstood.  All at once everything was getting to her – the stuffiness of the room, the uncomfortable couch she was on, and **_that stupid loud clock on the wall!_**  Her head was starting to pound, and Laurel, _damn her_, she was just staring and smiling condescendingly.  Sarah slumped forward, put her elbows on her knees, her head in her hands and before she knew what she was doing she had knots of her hair twisted in around her fingers and she pulled harder and harder until the pain did its trick and cleared her head a little.  It was a tactic she used often but she'd never before done it in front of anyone.  She quickly let go but Laurel had seen.

            "Why did you do that?" she asked quietly. 

            Sarah shrugged, looking at her feet.

            "It's okay – you're obviously frustrated.  I wouldn't worry about it too much."   Her watch beeped.   "Well, that's all the time we have."

            Sarah stood to go but this time Laurel came out of the room with her.

            "Mr. and Mrs. Williams, may I see you for a moment please?"

            Sarah glanced at her dad nervously and sat in a chair to wait, wondering what was going on.

            Laurel shut the door and turned, walking to her desk.  Robert and Karen sat and waited with questions in their eyes.

            "I believe your fears are well founded.  She seems to be rejecting reality and I'm concerned that she's hurting herself in more ways than one.  You said she's not eating – maybe she's starving herself, I don't know.  But I do have a question for you."

            They nodded.  Robert began to feel that his collar was growing tight and he anxiously pulled at it.

            "What is Sarah's wardrobe like day to day?  Does she always wear such dark colors?  And, more importantly, does she _always_ wear long sleeves?"

            "Why?" asked Robert.

            "I'm concerned that she's becoming self destructive.  She mentioned today that she feels she is being controlled and it's been my experience that many girls who feel this way try to take back control by resorting to self mutilation."

            "What is _that_?" Karen asked shrilly.

            "They hurt themselves.  There are many ways this can be done, but let me assure you – they are all done purposely.  It is getting to be understood that some eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia fit this category, because many times they deal with self-inflicted punishment and control over one's body, but unfortunately I don't think it stops there with Sarah.  I think she's taking actual measures to hurt herself."

            "How?" asked Robert, tightly.

            "Like I said, check into the sleeves issue.  Is she wearing them all the time?  Does she ever wear shorts?"

            "I'm still not getting this.  I mean, it's winter, what do you expect her to wear?"

            Before Laurel could explain, Karen spoke up.  "No, honey.  She always dressed that way, even when it was still hot out.  We used to ask her about it, remember?"

            Laurel nodded, vindicated in her mind.  "Just check, and let me know, okay?"


	7. Silent All These Years

**A.N. --** Okay, well I hope this doesn't throw the story off too much, but I've made this chapter a sort of song fic. It always seemed to me that some things come off more powerfully when they are sung. Anyway, there was singing in the first movie, so it seemed only natural that there would be singing in my story too. So, basically, I kind of did what they did in the movie Moulin Rouge. I borrowed a song and we're going to _pretend _(if that doesn't sound too lame) that it is Sarah's. I used a song written by the brilliant Tori Amos, because I think that the way she sings has a sort of inward soulfulness that really fits the feeling of this story. I hope you all enjoy.

**Ch. 7** – Silent All These Years

_Beep._

            Sarah heard the disk in her player reach the end and, careful so as not to lose her balance, she reached over to start it over.  When _Siamese Dream_ began again she leaned back and, grabbing her water, took a long drink.  The stationary bike she was riding blinked, letting her know she was falling below her suggested heart rate, so she pushed a little harder to bring herself back up to speed.  She grabbed her towel and patted the back of her neck and her forehead.  She hated the smell of sweat that always permeated the air.  Other than that she pretty much liked this gym.  It was always active – machines whirring, people huffing and puffing, the occasional show-off grunting loudly and just hoping someone would notice how much weight he could bench press.  The few TV's scattered around, hung from the ceiling playing silently.

            Sarah didn't stop riding until a little old man with wrist bands and bright yellow biker shorts that looked more than thirty years old, came and stood next to her with his arms crossed.  She was puzzled at his wrinkly frown until she saw the clock on her bike, which read 39:45.

            "Thirty minutes young lady, the sign says no more than thirty minutes.  _You've_ been on for forty minutes and now there are no more bikes left."

            Sarah slowed and jumped off, quickly wiping the seat down, muttering a quick sorry over her shoulder.  She hightailed it over to the track to run off her steam.  She'd had enough leg cramps to know not to stop too quickly.  When that was done, she made her way to the shower room, checking the clock along the way.  Two hours. 

            'Good,' she thought to herself, 'two hours and almost four hundred calories burnt.'  She did not think it strange that she kept track of how many calories she burned on each machine and then tallied it up at the end.  She liked knowing her progress.

            Her dad was waiting in his usual spot once she stepped outside.  She jumped in the car, putting her hands in front of the little heater to warm them.

            "Hi honey, how was your work out?"

            "Good," she smiled at her father, but he seemed distracted as he merged onto the busy street.  Sarah sat back and fiddled with the radio until she found a song she liked.  When they got home Karen had dinner almost ready.  Toby was playing on the floor by the couch and gurgled happily as she walked over.

            "I Sah…" he said, his cheeks dimpling.  She bent down and scooped him up.

            "Hi Toby," she said carrying him with her into the kitchen.

            "Oh, hi Sarah, can you set the table for me?" Karen asked.  She nodded and took Toby back to his spot in the living room and resettling him among his toys.  She silently eyed what Karen was making and set the table accordingly, hoping her stepmother wouldn't find anything to criticize this time.  For Karen, everything always had to be perfectly balanced, both nutritiously and artistically.  She was so nitpicky about how everything looked and matched everything else, Sarah figured that Martha Stuart must be her idol.

            Twenty minutes later they were all sitting around the dining room table.  Dinner in the Williams house went pretty much the same way every night.  Sarah would sit in her corner pushing the food around her plate with her fork.  Karen would come up with mindless things to say in order to fill up the silence.  Halfway through she'd notice Sarah playing with her food and say something about how young ladies shouldn't do that, which would usually merit nothing more than a snort from Sarah.  Robert usually had a falsely cheerful expression on his face and was always ready to be a buffer if his daughter and wife really started to go at it.  Toby always sat in his highchair, waiting until his mother was distracted so he could mash peas or mashed potatoes into his hair and across his face.  He always seemed to enjoy dinner the most.

            "…so then I said to her that it wasn't my job to do that.  It's her responsibility.  Then, you can't imagine the attitude that little temp agent gave me Robert. She actually had the nerve to ask me what I was getting paid for!  These people today – _they're_ subordinates and they talk to _us_ that way.  I don't understand why my boss keeps hiring them… Sarah?  Is something wrong?" Karen frowned at her stepdaughter who was gazing out the window.

            "Huh?" she snapped back to attention.  "No, I was just…"

            "A million miles away," Karen said with a smile.  "As usual," she added under her breath, just loudly enough for everyone to hear.  Sarah looked at her father, but he just gave her a confused smile.  She looked next at Toby who was sitting between his parents.  He grinned and blew pea flavored raspberries at her, which made her laugh.

            "Oh, Toby, now look what you've done!  You're making a mess!"  Karen was more annoyed that Sarah was effectively dodging her criticisms and practically ignoring her instead of apologizing like she thought she should.  She wiped Toby's mouth with a washcloth and when she was finished, looked back at Sarah.

            "We've talked about this before, Sarah.  When you're at the table with us, I expect you to actually be _with_ us.  That means no shutting us out."

            "Alright," Sarah sighed.  She looked at them expectantly as if to say, 'Okay talk, let's hear it.'

            "Well, how was school?" asked her father.

            "Oh, fine.  You know…I'm having a blast," she said sarcastically.

            "That's nice honey," he smiled at her, missing the look she gave him.

            "Sarah, I've got the heat on.  Are you sure you're not too warm in all those clothes?"

            "What?" she gave Karen a weird look.

            "It's warm in here.  Why are you wearing that sweatshirt?"

            "I dunno," Sarah muttered.  She quickly changed the subject.  "Do you still need me to watch Toby tomorrow?"

            Karen paused and looked hard at Sarah before answering. "…Yes, I do.  You'll be here on time, right?"

---

            Sarah stood at the window, watching the taillights of Karen's car turn out of view.  As soon as it was gone, she pulled Toby's highchair into the living room where she could keep an eye on him.  He was eating dry cheerios and held one out to her.  She smiled and popped it into her mouth before she had the time to think of little baby boy germs.

            She went over to the piano and sat.  Sarah played occasionally when her dad and Karen were there but never more than simple tunes and melodies.  When they were gone, however, she would _really_ play, and sing too, letting out a side of herself that she never showed anybody else, besides Toby.  She didn't mind Toby being there – he was still a child, open and accepting.  She was actually quite talented but she never let anybody know.  At least she thought she didn't show this side to anyone.  She, of course, knew nothing of a certain Goblin King watching her with his crystals and the fact still remained that he could only see her in them when she showed great emotion.  It often happened that the passion with which she sang and played would bring her to such a fevered pitch that it was as if she stood before him in sharp, vibrant color.  It was said among the servants and goblins at the castle that their King was known to act very strangely when the girl was singing.

             This girl sat, now, in the slightly darkened room, her fingers resting lightly on the keys.  From his highchair, Toby munched on his cereal, watching her.  She played him a fast rolling tune, a silly song about him, making up the words as she went along.  When it was finished, she grew somber.  She sat quietly for a moment, then, looking at him directly, she sang:

_            Excuse me, but can I be you for a while?_

_            My dog won't bite if you sit real still._

_            I've got the antichrist in the kitchen yelling at me again. _

            (She smiled wryly, thinking of Karen.)

_            Yeah I can hear that_. 

_            Been saved again by the garbage truck._

_            I've got something to say, you know_

_            but nothing comes…_

_            Yes I know what you think of me- you never shut up._

            (This was for anybody and everybody who'd ever judged her instead of trying to understand her.)

_            Yeah I can hear that,_

_            but what if I'm a mermaid in these jeans of his, _

_            with her name still on it_

_            hey, but I don't care, 'cause sometimes, I said sometimes_

_            I hear my voice and it's been here…_

_            Silent all these years…_

            (She looked at a picture on the piano of her dad and Karen on their wedding day.)

_            So you've found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts._

_            What's so amazing about really deep thoughts?_  

            _Boy, you'd best pray that I bleed real soon._

            (She said this, gazing down at her arms – her secret.)

_            How's that thought for you? _

_            My scream got lost in a paper cup, _

_            you'd think there's a heaven where some screams have gone._

            (Oh why did she feel such an obligation to hide the anguish she felt from everyone?)

_            I've got twenty-five bucks and a cracker, do you think it's enough to get us there? _

            (But where would she go? Would there ever be anywhere far enough to run?)

_            'cause what if I'm a mermaid in these jeans of his_

_            with her name still on it _

_            hey, but I don't care, 'cause sometimes, I said sometimes_

_            I hear my voice and it's been here…_

_            Silent all these…_

_            Years go by, will I still be waiting_

_            for somebody else to understand?_

_            Years go by, if I'm stripped of my beauty_

            (Hmmm...what beauty?  She merely pictured herself growing old, bitter and forgotten, watching as the sun set upon her life.)

_            and the orange clouds raining in my head._

_            Years go by, will I choke on my tears_

_            'till finally there is nothing left._

_            One more casualty, you know were too easy, easy, easy…_

            (She suddenly became calm again, and looked once more at her brother.)

            Well I love the way we communicate 

_            your eyes focus on my funny lip shape._

_            Let's hear what you think of me now, _ 

           _ but baby don't look up-_

_            the sky is falling._

            (She grinned.)

_            Your mother shows up in a nasty dress,_

_            and it's your turn now to stand where I stand._

            ('It happens so easily,' she thought, 'I was once where you are now, so secure, in my _family_.  Things can change _so _quickly!')

_            Everybody looking at you, here take hold of my hand._

_            Yeah I can hear them…_

_            But what if I'm a mermaid, in these jeans of yours_

_            with her name still on it_

_            hey, but I don't care, 'cause sometimes, I said sometimes_

_            I hear my voice, I hear my voice…_

_            …I hear my voice…_

_            and it's been here._

_            Silent all these years…_

_            I've been here…_

_            Silent all these years.  Silent all these…_

_            Silent all these years…_

(Her voice fades as the piano crescendos, before it too fades away to nothing.)

            She sat silent for a minute, thinking.  Then she looked over at her brother, whose heavy eyelids held a sleepy adoration.  She got up to put him down for a nap.  She didn't see the silent figure that watched from the darkness of the hedge outside.

            The window was open enough to fit inside, but he didn't move.  Jareth had decided to fly here after he'd heard the first song and so had heard all of the next.  While Sarah was upstairs he sat and thought about how true her song had been.

            Sure he'd known that she was lonely here, but he'd never really stopped and truly looked at what life must be like from her point of view.  He now realized that there was a profound truth in that which she had sung, one that was inextricably tied with the reason she'd gone through the Labyrinth a year ago.  Here she was in her world, surrounded by her family, and all she was considered to be was a burden.  She might as well have been invisible, for while physically people saw her everyday, nobody **really _saw_** her.  They didn't see her for who she really was, no matter how hard she tried.  Dreamer, song shaper, but all they saw was selfish, irresponsible.  They didn't see her for who she could be and they definitely didn't want to understand her.  And she'd felt every hour, every day, every _year_ that had passed by.  She'd been there all that time, in their very midst, and they didn't even see her.  They didn't know…

~*Lyrics from **Silent All These Years**, by Tori Amos*~


	8. The Truth Comes Out

**N. -- **This chapter has a little language in it. I don't know if it is enough to up the rating, but if any of you think that it or any of the subject matter is worthy of a higher rating, would you please let me know? Thanks. 

**Ch. 8** – The Truth Comes Out

            Sarah slammed her bedroom door and leaned against it, shaking.  She was so _mad_, even more so because this latest fight between her and Karen was about something so trivial.

            'How did this happen?' she thought, straining to recall the details that always fled when she found herself in a conflict with someone.  What had been said first, what led to what.  Like now.  'How did it blow up so big?  It was such a stupid little thing!'

            It had been so simple.  The afternoon had crept by uneventfully.  Sarah's homework had been finished quickly.  Her dad was playing with Toby, and Karen was in the kitchen cooking.  She was bored.  Then it started raining.  Hard.  Sarah loved it when it rained.  It was like something was actually happening. She hated the days when the air was stale and lifeless.  It too closely resembled her own stagnant existence.  But when the wind blew hard, when the thunder clapped and cracked, and the lightning flashed, and yes when the rain came down in all of its relentless fury it was like seeing the earth take a breath and live again. It reminded _her_ to live again.  She slipped outside onto the porch.  At first she only meant to watch from a safe dry spot.  But she couldn't stay.  The rain hitting the ground and bouncing back up again beckoned to her and soon she longed to dance with it.  Before she could think twice she was in the grass twirling, arms outstretched, face upturned, mouth open.  The raindrops stung her cheeks with their cold and blurred her vision but she didn't care.  She laughed at the sound of it, the way it would soften and then almost double in intensity.  Her heart seemed to echo the thunder.

            Her reverie was broken at the sound of Karen's shrill voice yelling at her to come inside.  She took her time responding, gave herself one last second, but that only infuriated Karen even more.  She finally groaned and made her way inside.

            "Really Sarah!  When are you going to grow up and stop acting like such a child?  Look at you, you're soaking wet!" 

             "It's just rain!" Sarah exclaimed.

             "You're going to catch a cold, _and_ you're getting water everywhere and making a mess!"

            Sarah turned and began walking up the stairs to her room.  "You know, I wouldn't be getting water anywhere if you didn't spend so much time yelling at me," she said dryly.  "Anyway, I'll be fine."

            Later at dinner, all Sarah had to do was sniffle and cough a few times to set Karen off again.

            "See?  I told you, you were going to get sick.  I don't know why you don't listen to me."

            "I'm not sick," Sarah said calmly.

            "Robert, do you know what your _daughter_," she practically spat the word, "was doing?  She was playing outside in the rain.  So _irresponsible_.  And now we'll probably all get sick.  Did you ever think of that?  Do you ever think of anybody besides yourself?"

            It went downhill fast from there.  Sarah's dad did his best to keep the peace but by then both women were extremely upset and the fighting just escalated. It ended with Sarah jumping up from the table and declaring the she suddenly wasn't hungry anymore.

            She was still really angry.  She hated the feeling of losing control and she knew she _had_ lost control back there.  She knew she'd become more upset than she'd really needed to and that she'd let Karen get to her yet again.  She hated this fogginess that settled over her memory – if she'd been getting sick before this afternoon she could point that out and feel justified in her anger at Karen, but she couldn't remember.  It never failed.

            She walked around her room for a few minutes, unable to calm herself down.  Her hands were shaking and she couldn't resist the urge to fling a few unfortunate items at her door.  This wasn't a temper tantrum.  It was simply overwhelming frustration and buried pain coming out as anger.  She finally walked over to her vanity table.  She had to do this, she was afraid she would _really_ break something if she didn't.  She needed a way to calm down.  She yanked off her shirt, and opening a drawer, she rifled through it until she found what she was looking for.  She grabbed the tiny object; a straight edged razor, as well as a sheet of white paper.

_            Arm outstretched…_

_            Drip…_

_           Crimson on white…_

            _Bright and shiny, then dark as it soaks in…_

_            Drip, drip in another spot…_

_            She leans her head down and blows on it before it too is absorbed. This sends tiny rivulets in different directions, forms a pattern…_

_            She has a small but growing collection of this strange art…_

_            It is very dear to her…_

            There was a knock at the door.  Sarah gasped and grabbed a nearby Kleenex. 

            "Um, hold on!"

            From where Karen stood in the hallway, all she could hear was the sound of a drawer opening and shutting again, and what sounded like papers rustling. She heard another 'hold on' but very muffled this time.  Finally a breathless Sarah opened the door.

            "Listen Sarah, I think things got a little out of hand back there.  I think we're all a little stressed out and we sometimes take it out on each other.  So, I'm sorry if I upset you.  I just don't want you to get sick or anything."

            Sarah leaned against the doorframe and lowered her eyes.  "Alright, yeah I'm sorry too."

            "Listen, why don't you come back down and finish dinner with us?"

            Before Sarah could answer, something caught Karen's eyes.

            "Sarah?  What's that on your arm?"

            Sarah froze.  She looked down and sure enough there were two small spots of blood that had soaked through her light gray sleeve.

            "Nothing," she said a bit too defensively.

            "That's not nothing.  What's going on?" Karen asked quietly.

            "Nothing!"

            "Robert?!" Karen turned her head toward the stairs.  "Can you come here, please?"

            "What are you doing?  Stop it!"  She wouldn't listen.  Sarah tried to shut her door but Karen blocked the way, and in a few seconds her father was there too.

            "What's going on?" he asked.

            "Nothing, Karen's overreacting again."

            It was futile though, because her stepmother was already talking.

            "… just like she told us to look for.  She's trying to hide it," she said, pointing to Sarah's arm.

            Robert turned questioning eyes toward his daughter.  "Sarah?"

            "She's lying," she said doggedly, finding it hard to breathe, as well as look her father in the eye.

            Robert looked at his shoes.  "Can you show me your arms then?  Just do that and we'll leave you alone."

            "No!  Why?"  Sarah took an alarmed step back, but Karen was faster.  She reached forward, grabbed her arm and pushed her sleeve up to her elbow. Sarah stilled, like a trapped animal.  All she could feel were eyes.  Eyes, on the three angry slashes that ran across the length of her forearm.  Underneath these, older scars crisscrossed like fine white lines.  No one said anything, and in the heavy silence something in Sarah snapped.  All she could see was Karen's hand still gripping her wrist and that sight filled her eyes and blocked everything else out.

            "Get off me."

            "Sarah…"

            "GET YOUR **FUCKING **HANDS OFF OF ME **NOW**!!!"  She pushed Karen, hard, the force of it causing her to stumble back into the door. Surprised, she let go and had no time to react before Sarah had brushed by and was on her way down the stairs.  "Don't you **_ever_** touch me again!  You had **_no _**right to do that!" 

            She yanked the front door open and ran outside, slamming it as hard as she could.  She felt a stab of guilt as she heard Toby start crying from his highchair but it could not be helped now.  She ran and ran in the crisp damp air, her breath forming white clouds that swirled away, cut in two by her fleeing form.  She ran on until she found herself downtown.  Then she walked, nowhere in particular.  She stood at a corner, waiting for the light to change, and out of the corner of her eye, noticed a group of guys and a few girls sitting around on some steps by the back door of some store which was closed.  A few heads turned toward her.  She ignored them and tried to look as unintimidated as possible.  She shivered, waiting to cross, and wished that she'd thought to grab her jacket on the way out.  That too could not be helped.

            "Sarah?"

            She stiffened and spun around, then breathed a sigh of relief when she spotted her old friend.

            "Hey Josh," she said as she trotted over.

            "Sit down.  Guys, this is Sarah.  We used to go to school together."  A few hi's greeted her to which she responded.  "So what are you doing out here?" he asked, lighting a cigarette.

            "Oh, I had to get out of the house before I really hurt someone."

            He grinned.  "Let me guess. Karen being a bitch again?"

            "Yeah," Sarah felt the anger build up once more.  "I don't know why she can't just leave me alone.  She really pisses me off sometimes!"

            "Whoa, calm down.  What happened?"

            She sighed.  "Nothing, it's a long story.  She just hates me or something."

            "I think someone needs a drink," he said, grabbing a large bottle in a paper bag.

            Sarah eyed the bottle hovering in front of her face.  Normally she would have automatically said 'no thanks' but this time she paused.  Why not?  Why should she miss out?  For _them_?  With this thought, she quickly grabbed the bottle and, with a 'thank you' took a swig.  It was strong, but strangely sweet.  She forced it down, determined not to make a face.   

            "What is this?" she asked.

            "Peppermint schnapps," Josh replied.  "We have beer too, but I thought you might like this a little better."  He laughed.  "We always have to get at least one sissy drink for Julia over there.  She doesn't drink beer."

            "It's so fattening," said one of the girls.  She had heavy, black eyeliner around her eyes and lips, which were pierced.

            "And schnapps isn't?" one of the other guys teased.

            "Not _as_!" Julia replied.  "You ever hear of a 'schnapps belly' asshole?"   

            One hour, and half a bottle, later found her laughing hysterically at a joke this guy Nate had just made.  It was one that normally would have made her blush uncomfortably but she was long past that.  One of the two other girls was back in the shadows kissing one of the guys, and a few were smoking pot, but she didn't care.  The taste of peppermints on her tongue made her giddy and her cheeks were burning.  The rest of her, on the other hand, was almost numb.  At long last, she stood up and said, "I'm freezing!  I gotta go home now."

            "Hey, I'll walk you," Josh stood up. 

            They said their good byes to the rest of the group and began walking.  Before long they were nearing Sarah's neighborhood. 

            "Thanks for walking me home," she said, trying to keep her feet from colliding with one another.  She laughed with the effort.

            Josh eyed her antics with an amused smile.  "Yeah, well I couldn't very well let you get drunk and then let you go off by yourself, could I?  You'd probably end up curled up on the floor of the post office or something."

            She laughed.  "So, what have you been doing with yourself lately?"

            He snorted and grinned sheepishly.  "You're looking at it," he said, indicating the friends they'd left back on that corner.

            "Oh…" she didn't know what to say.  It was suddenly apparent how much their lives had veered in different directions.  "Well, my house is right down there, so thanks again," she said, giving him a quick hug.

            "Later Sarah," he said and turned back down the road.

            Sarah didn't even notice the car parked in her driveway until she nearly ran into it.  Frowning, she let herself into the house.  Five heads turned towards her.

            "Sarah!  You're home, we were worried sick about you!" her father exclaimed.

            She nodded fuzzily and then noticed a familiar face.  "What's going on?  Laurel, what are you doing here?"

            "Sarah, your parents are very worried about you.  Why did you run away?"

            "I don't know.  I got mad I guess.  They won't give me any space," she said, stumbling a little.

            By this time her father had gotten up from the couch and made his way over to her.  He instantly smelled the alcohol on her.

            "Have you been drinking?!"

            "No…" why wouldn't her feet work?

            From behind her father came Karen's achingly familiar voice.  "She's drunk!"

            "Shut up Karen!  Leave me alone!" she said loudly.

            Laurel stood up.  "Sarah, I think you're right.  You need a break; you need some space.  You _all_do. I know of a place where you can go and get some much needed rest."

            "What?" she backed up against the door.  "I'm not going anywhere with you!"  To her horror, the remaining two people, men in what looked like hospital uniforms, stood up.

            "Sarah, it's okay," one of them said.  "We're here to help you."

            "Bullshit!  Don't touch me!" she yelled as one neared her.  They were boxing her in.  She was almost gasping with the panic in her chest.

            "Sarah, you're going to come with us.  It's a really nice facility.  You're just going to take a few days and catch up on some rest."

            "Like hell I am," she shook off the rough hands of one of the attendants.  "Daddy, don't let them take me!" she pleaded.  She heard her dad groan and saw him put his head in his hands.  "_Please_!"

            "My name is Mike, I'm not going to hurt you."  He made another grab at her wrists and she angrily batted him away.  The other man, whose nametag read Doug, took this opportunity to rush her from the other side.  Sarah panicked and began flailing and kicking her feet at whatever she could reach.  Her reflexes being dulled, she didn't get far.

            "I think we're going to need a sedative here," Mike said, trying to hold her as she squirmed and arched her back.

            "No," she said, terrified as she caught sight of the needle Laurel had in her hands.  She struggled harder, and began screaming when she felt the sharp pinch in her arm.  Almost instantly things got slower and everything looked under water.  Her struggles ceased and her screaming faded to a moan.  She felt the cold night air and realized she was outside.  Her foggy mind wouldn't work enough to formulate a plan of escape.  She heard Karen's faint voice.

            "We'll bring her bags tomorrow."

            "That'll be fine, she'll pretty much be out of it till then anyway," Laurel said.

            "Are you sure we're doing the right thing?"  That one was her father.

            "Robert, you saw what she did.  She attacked me.  I won't have that violence around the baby!"

            Sarah heard nothing more as her world faded into gray nothingness. 


	9. The New Girl

**A/N **-- Sorry it took me so long to update.  My niece (8 mos.) and nephew (21/2) are in town and I don't get to see them much.  {First time aunt here.}  Anyway, this chapter is a little shorter than my previous chapters have been getting.  I hope you like.

**Ch. 9** – The New Girl

            The first thing Sarah saw when she woke was a gray corkboard ceiling.  It took her a moment to realize why it felt wrong.  Coming to the conclusion that it wasn't hers, and the _walls_ as well, and _that window is in the wrong place,_ she remembered the events of the night before.  She raised her head about a foot and let it drop again.  It felt as if it were filled with bricks.  Her face felt rubbery and her lips were cracked and dry.  The heavy blanket that was draped over her looked old and the fabric made her skin itch.  It only took Sarah this long to decide that she wasn't yet ready to face the world and she turned on her side and fell back asleep. 

            The room was filled with midmorning light when she awoke a few hours later.  She stood up and stretched her aching joints, looking at her reflection in the small mirror that hung by the bed as she did so.  Her hair was stringy and clung to her face and her clothes were stale and wrinkly from being slept in.  She sighed and walked over to the double plated window.  The view was dismal.  Directly across from her she could see another brick building with dark windows.  There was one scraggly tree, nearly devoid of leaves.  They were scattered in messy patterns over the concrete.  There was not much else – a broken plastic chair, upside-down, and an empty mud-stained clay pot.

            The door opened and a nurse walked in.  She was an older woman and bore a no-nonsense look upon her face.  "Sarah?  I'm glad you're up.  How are you feeling?"

            Sarah sized the woman up before answering.  "I'm okay.  Can you tell me where I am?"

            "Where you are?"  The nurse looked around herself.  "Well you're in this room," she said matter-of-factly.

            "Yes, I know that but…"

            "Oh yes, you were asleep when you came, I see.  You're in the women's ward of Fairhaven Hospital of Mental Health.  You're on the third floor of building C.  This is a closed ward.  The length of your stay in this building will depend on how well you cooperate with the staff and your doctors.  If you _do_ cooperate, you may be moved to a less restrictive ward.  That remains to be seen."

            Sarah blinked back the tears that suddenly threatened.  She vowed to keep her feelings and emotions buried within and _never_ let any of them see.  She didn't want to give them the benefit.

            "For now," the nurse went on, walking over to the door, "I have some of your things here.  You can put your clothes in that dresser and in the closet as well.  Those shelves should hold anything else you might have brought.  When you have finished putting things away, come down to my office, it's at the end of the hall way to your left.  I'll show you around the floor.  My name is Gertrude and I'm the head nurse on this floor."  She brought in a medium sized carton, which she deposited next to the suitcase she'd retrieved while she was talking.  Then she left, closing the door behind her.

---

            "Okay, on your left we have one of  the sitting rooms.  They all look pretty much alike.  People usually come here when they get tired of being alone in their rooms.  We also hold most group therapy sessions here.  Anyway, the TV is right over there, and on that table over there is some cards to play with and some magazines to look at."

            The few people sitting around the room eyed Sarah and Gertrude, but said nothing.    

            "Continuing on… this room is where those of you that are still of a school age will be doing your studies.  There are a few tutors that will be helping you and assisting you in completing your schooling via correspondence with your local home school agency.   Next-door is the music and art room.  This is another place you're free to visit as long as your schoolwork is done for the day and you have no behavioral marks against you.  We encourage our patients to try and find an outlet for expressing themselves."

            Sarah looked longingly at the piano that stood at the back of the room, but silently followed Gertrude back out of the room.  She was shown the visiting room, for when family came, the wing that housed all of the therapists' offices, and the cafeteria-like dining room.  She was briefly shown the bathrooms and shower rooms on the way back to the TV room that she'd been in before.  One thing she noticed about this place was that everything was very solid and unbreakable.  It seemed like the kind of place one could rage about in without really hurting anything.  It strangely made her feel somewhat safer.  

            "Okay, well I have things that I have to attend to now.  You can stay out here and get acquainted with some of the other boys and girls if you'd like, or you may go back to your room.  Oh, and your therapist will be by sometime around noon or one.  If you have any other questions you should ask her."

            Sarah looked around the room.  There were a few other nurses sitting with patients, and there were some girls around her age, some older, a few younger.  A few boys sat around, in one corner, eyeing her, but not in a mean way.  Everyone sat about in a somewhat comfortable silence.  Even so, she was about to hightail it back to her room, not really feeling up to being around people just yet, when she was stopped.

            "So, you're new here or something?" a voice rang out from behind. She turned and found she was no longer the only one peering into the room. "Hi, I'm Joely."

            The girl's wan face, nearly the same color of her bleached hair, was frank and open, which put Sarah somewhat at ease.  "I'm Sarah.  Yes, I'm new but I think I'm only here temporarily.  Like for a few days or something."

            Joely grinned knowingly.  "Yeah, that's what they _tell_ you!"

            Sarah's heart sank.

---

            "Sarah, I'm glad to see you up and around so soon.  How are you doing today?" Laurel asked with a false cheeriness.

            She didn't bother answering.  "First of all, I want to know how long I have to stay here."

            "Well, that remains to be seen.  You've really worn out your welcome at home, what with attacking your stepmother that way.  Right now we need to think about your family.  This is very disrupting for _everyone_, not just you.  Think about your brother – you wouldn't want him living in such an explosive and violent environment, would you?"

            "I'm _not_ a violent person.  _And _I didn't attack Karen, I just pushed her. Believe me, that woman had a lot more coming to her.  She should be thankful that she didn't get pushed down the stairs," Sarah muttered, noticing the look Laurel gave her.  "But that's not the point, of course.  I wouldn't _do _that.  It's just she went too far this time.  I _don't_ want her touching me."

            "Why not?"

            "Because she's not my mother.  She doesn't have the right."

            "Well, at any rate we need to give them some time.  I think that when you _do_ get out of here I'm going to suggest something like family counseling.  That might work better than just our sessions alone.  But until then, while you're in here, we're going to work on finding out exactly what it is that is causing these problems you're experiencing.  Maybe this is the first time you have had a physical confrontation with someone _else_, but apparently it's _not_ the first time you have hurt yourself," Laurel finished, looking at her pointedly.

            Sarah sighed.

            "Why do you do that to yourself?"

            "I don't know, I guess because of what I feel inside."

            "And what _do_ you feel inside?"

            She paused, thinking.  "Sometimes I'm so sad I think I can't stand it, but mostly I'm just really angry."

            "Angry at what?  Or whom?"

            She shrugged and looked at Laurel helplessly.  "I'm not sure, really.  I guess partly at my mother.  But she's dead.  She had to go through getting sick and dying, _and_ knowing that it was going to happen, so how can I be angry?  Then I think, 'who am I to complain, _I'm _still alive.'  Then I feel guilty for feeling that way," she laughed bitterly, "which makes me angry all over again."

            "At what?"

            "At my life, at this situation!  I don't want things to be this way, but there's nothing I can do about it.  It's not…" she stopped, remembering words of long ago.  '_You say that so often…'_

            "Fair?" Laurel supplied.

            Sarah smiled wryly.  "What's fair got to do with it, right?  Life isn't fair.  There _is _no fair.  I almost forgot."

            Laurel looked at her quietly for a moment before speaking.  "Fair or not, these things are still happening, aren't they?  Are they all _your _fault?"  Sarah shook her head.  "Then, why are you punishing yourself?"

            "I'm not."  It angered her the way Laurel raised an eyebrow at that in disbelief.  "Well, these things happen, yes, and maybe no one else really notices but I feel them.  They still affect _me._"

            "And?"

            "Well, it's like I've got to have a record of it or something, so I know why I feel that way."

            "Why do you need a record?"

            "Because I _hate_ when I don't know why I feel the way I do; when I know I feel bad but can't remember exactly why," she paused, "you know, maybe it's _because_ no one else notices these things I need a record of them.  I need something substantial."

            "Why not write in a journal?"

            "That's too easy."

            "You could draw a picture."

            Sarah gave a small lopsided grin.  "I am, in a way.  Just drawing or writing doesn't really help.  Ink, pencil, paint – that doesn't hurt, so it's not equal.  Just the little bit of pain kind of equals what I feel inside – it represents the invisible hurt.  Then it's no longer invisible.  So, in this weird way, I win.  I made it substantial, and trapped it.  Now I can look back and see what I felt, remember what happened, and then what I feel can no longer torment me with its… elusiveness."  She smirked when she surprised Laurel by drawing up her sleeve.  "My body is my canvas.  All of these things have happened to me and yet I'm still here.  So I win. And it's there for all to see."

            "And yet you hid this for so long.  Why hide it if you want people to know?"

            Sarah sat back on the little chair in the office they were occupying.  She felt a little deflated.  "You see, my parents… they don't want to see.  They'd never understand.  I mean," she looked Laurel directly in the eye, a sad smile on her face, "look where it got me."


	10. These Prison Walls

**Ch. 10** – These Prison Walls

            It had been a few days since Jareth had been Aboveground but today he felt an odd longing to watch Sarah again.  He kept telling himself that it was for the sake of his plan.  He needed to study her, learn the best time to go to her, as well as the best way to go about it.  That would require gathering as much information about her as he could – was there anything he could offer her?  What could he use against her?  He hoped that when they did face each other finally that simple reasoning would work, but he'd dealt with this girl before.  Somehow it didn't seem likely.  So he studied her, watched her.

            He secretly hoped to himself, as he flew along his way, that she would sing again.  There was something about her voice – it cut him to the bone.  It grabbed a hold of him and he could almost swear that he felt her feelings as strongly as if they had originated with him. 

            He saw the familiar roof below him and dipped on one side to bring the rest of him swinging around as he swooped downward.  At the last minute both wings were spread as far as they could reach, catching the air and swiftly slowing his descent.  His talons reached for the branch below him – a flawless landing. The usual feeling of kingly pride at this latest display was abruptly cut short as he looked into Sarah's room and found it dark and cold.  He skipped down the branch, closer to the window.  The familiar scents of the room : lotions and ointments that smelled of apples and peaches (?), the spicy smell of incense, half-melted candles that smelled of apricot and ginger, or rain, or the sea; all were old, nearly gone, as if no one had even been in there for days.

            'Where could she have gone?'

            He peered in, looking for any clues that might be lying about.  There were none.

            'Has she journeyed somewhere?'

            Jareth quickly flew to another tree, lower and in front of another window, where he could see into the living room.

            'No, the rest of the family is still there.'

            He knew that it was possible for Sarah to have gone somewhere by herself, but as far as he knew, she had little family, and even fewer friends, so it didn't seem very likely.  He hoped that wherever she had gone, it was somewhere close by, maybe for the weekend or something.  Maybe she'd be back soon, even today.  He flew back up to his perch by her window, from where he'd be able to see her when she did arrive, and settled down to wait.  To pass the time he thought of the sound of her voice.  He let his mind wander back to the dance they'd shared and the look of wonder on her face as he'd sung to her.  He ignored the gnawing feeling of dread that spoke of trouble.  He sincerely hoped that Sarah was okay.

---

            "No!  Why do I have to take these?!"

            "Sarah, calm down.  This is what everyone takes.  It's to help you sleep."

            "I don't need any help sleeping."

            The nurse sighed heavily and looked at her with tired eyes.  "We're not going to go through this again.  Sarah, you're going to take these pills or we're going to have to resort to an injected sedative like before.  Your doctor knows you're taking them, she okay'd it, alright?"

            The thought of the needle was enough to quiet Sarah, at least for now.  She roughly grabbed the pills out of the nurse's hand, as well as the little paper cup of water.

            "Let me see," the nurse said patiently.

            Sarah rolled her eyes and did what she was asked.  Feeling woozy she made her way to bed.  She strongly disliked these pills she had to take.  They left her disoriented and with no idea of how much time had passed.  Days turned into nights and nights into days, and the hours swam.  She lost all sense of time, woke up at all hours of the night.  When the stuff finally _would_ wear off and Sarah's thoughts became somewhat lucid again, the fear would set in.  This place was really beginning to creep her out.  The way they all smiled when she asked a question.  The conversations that would cease when she approached, especially if Laurel was there.  The missing hours that seemed to accumulate with each passing day.  Sarah was afraid, afraid and very much alone.

---

            "…yes, well she's extremely upset right now.  She is definitely having a hard time wading her way through this mess of fantasy and reality… It might take a while, but we _are_ trying our best.  We're using state-of-the-art medications and programs to help us find the daughter you once knew… Mmhmm… Yes, I _do_believe you did the right thing.  I'm just glad we caught it when we did, before she really hurt herself, _or _someone else… Anyway, I'll let you know more when I know more… Um, no I don't think that visiting is a good idea yet.  Let's just wait until she stabilizes a little more… Okay, I will.  Bye now." 

            Laurel set the receiver down and looked at the two others who sat with her in the little office she had set up.  The others were the headmaster of the institute and Gertrude the nurse from Sarah's floor.  Both looked at her expectantly.

            "That was her father.  I was expecting his call around now.  He still thinks that his daughter doesn't _really_ need to be here, but he shouldn't be too much of a problem."   She looked at them and mouthed "pushover", to which the others chuckled.

            "But what about the patient?" asked the headmaster, quickly becoming serious again.  He nervously wiped his brow.

            "Well David, she's not… _insane_, but there _is_ a definite pathology there."  She looked at him pointedly.  "It _is_ enough to keep her here, at least for a while."

            "Good.  Do you think there will be any problems from the insurance company?"

            "There shouldn't be.  They might send someone over to make sure everything is legitimate but it should be pretty easy to convince them of that.  They're all just pencil pushers – they don't know anything about the mentally ill."  She laughed briefly, "If worse comes to worse, I'll just show 'em her arms – that should shut them up."

            David sat back, satisfied.  Gertrude just nodded as she took notes.

---

            "… so then we all peeked in the window and sure enough, she _was_ asleep. It was so funny, her head was pushed over like this," Joely demonstrated as Sarah looked on, "and she was drooling everywhere.  So we started laughing, and she woke up and saw us there.  Boy, was she pissed!"

            Sarah gave a small polite laugh.  They were in the art/music room, but neither girl was doing much work.  She kept looking at the piano until Joely finally noticed and said, "Okay, are you planning on drawing the piano, or do you actually want to play it?"

            She smiled.  "I don't know, maybe I'll play sometime.  I was just thinking, I had a piano at home and I miss playing on it.  But, I don't know – everyone is here."

            Joely looked at her with a grin.  "You should, no one will care.  But… I don't think you will have time today.  Looks like we have to go now.  Yay therapy," she added sarcastically.

            Sarah glanced up and sure enough the group was getting up and putting things away.  The nurse was at the door.

            "I wonder if they'll like my drawing."  She held up the piece of drawing paper that she'd been handed upon entering the room.  It had a few scribbles and a half-finished border, not much else.  Joely laughed.  They walked down the hall toward the TV room.

            "Hey, they're putting on a movie tonight. You gonna come?"

            "Um, that's okay. Maybe some other time," she replied, catching the look of disappointment and slight hurt that briefly crossed the other girl's face.  She felt bad but she also felt that she couldn't afford to make any friends here.  To do that would be to accept staying and the mere thought of that left Sarah with a feeling of panic.  She didn't want to settle, she couldn't.  She was leaving soon.  She hoped.

---

            Jareth sat on his branch and viciously ripped into the mouse he'd caught.  He'd been here everyday for nearly a week, often staying long after dark.  As reluctant as he was to leave at all, he knew he couldn't risk leaving his kingdom for too long right now.  He knew what kind of trouble his goblins could get into when left to their own devices.  They were already very confused by his odd behavior and frequent absences.  So he sat here, day by day.  She hadn't come home and now he feared the worst.  He wished he knew where she was and if she was okay.

            He felt strangely protective of her, and looked up at the stars and wondered for the hundredth time how it was that he'd fallen so hard.  He'd watched her as a _child._  He'd admired her imagination, pitied her loneliness, but it was when she'd faced him with her curious blend of naivete and quiet wisdom, her innocence and strength that he'd been shaken to the very core.  Even the fact that no one else could infuriate him the way she could was strangely exciting to him.  Quite the opposite effect was this feeling of utter helplessness he now experienced.  If she _were_ in some sort of danger, he'd have no way to help her if he didn't even know where she was.  When at home, in his castle, he spent most of his time trying to conjure her image in his crystals.  She did appear frequently but it didn't help him much, as all he could ever see was her face.  Her emotions were very strong now, and he saw anger, sadness and fear cross her features more than once.  Mostly fear.  That frightened him, as did the way she would sometimes be completely unreachable – the exact opposite of when she sang.  Where her song would lend an almost three-dimensional quality to her, something was causing her to go completely numb.  He would actually see this happen – she'd be really upset and then, nothing.  She'd disappear and he'd be unable to see her for an alarmingly long time.  This was happening a lot. 

           He finished his meager meal grimly.  It sat in his stomach like a stone.  He flew to a window on the other side of the house, one that _was_ lit up, finding himself outside Sarah's parents' room.  Hoping for a clue as to her whereabouts he landed on a branch and listened to the voices spilling out from the warm room.

            "… she said we can't visit her right now.  Too unstable or something."  Robert sighed heavily.  His unfocused eyes never left the TV set.  Not that he had any idea what was on – he'd been staring mindlessly at it for hours, paying no attention, consuming drink after drink.

            "I really wish you wouldn't insist on keeping that thing in here," Karen said sourly.  "It's _so_ noisy."

            He turned it down, but only two or three notches, which made his wife scowl.  "You said that it would be okay once Toby was old enough to sleep in his own room."

            "So, what else did she say?  Did she say what's wrong with her?"

            He shrugged and wiped his mouth with the back of one hand.  "I dunno.  She was pretty vague."

            "Well, I guess the best thing to do is to just trust that Laurel will know what the best course of action is."

            Robert just grunted.  Karen stood by the door for a minute, watching him and then left to go tuck her son into bed.

            Outside an owl blinked once and took to flight.

** Hi, one more thing before I go. I just wanted to make it clear that I am not trying to say there is anything wrong with mental health clinics and institutions. I think that most of them are really great places where a lot of good is done for those with special needs. They do a lot of good for people, and those that work there are very dedicated. This particular institution in my story however is not such a great place, as you are all finding out…


	11. Never

**Disclaimer**: I thought it was about time to put another one of these in here. (Should there be one for every chapter? I'm not really sure of the correct procedure.) In addition to still disclaiming ownership of any of the characters or scenes from Labyrinth/Jim Henson productions, etc., I am also here disclaiming ownership/rights to/ or creativity behind any song lyrics I have used in past chapters or may use in any future chapters. Whew! Now that that's over, on to the story…

**Ch. 11 – **Never

_You'll say you understand, but you don't understand…_

            It was morning, and the sun was rising but shadow still stretched across the land like a blanket.  Rocky outcrops and gnarled tree roots made the path difficult to travel.  Not difficult enough though for its four travelers, three of which had been awakened that morning with a summons to report to the castle immediately.  They made their way there now, albeit reluctantly.  Both Hoggle and Sir Didymus knew that just because nothing had been done to them in the year since Sarah had been there, that they were in any way safe from the wrath of their King.  They had never hoped to take his inaction all this time as anything other than a means to keep them on their toes, always waiting and wondering, guessing as to what their fate might be.  And now, it seemed, they were finally to know. Still they went because they also knew that when your King summons you, you _don't _ignore it.  So they trudged along, dreading but also eager for the waiting to finally be over.  Ludo, ever their faithful companion, went along because it was what he'd been told to do, and besides, everything was always okay when he was with his friends.  Of course Ambrosias just whined and shivered like he always did.

            "Do ya think it'll be the bog?  Ohhhh, anything but that!"  Hoggle grumbled, and remembering the last time he'd been there, he gasped and put his hand over his nose, gagging dramatically.

            "I still do not understand why my brother should speak so of the place.  It was never unpleasant, and I _lived_ there," Sir Didymus said, blinking and nodding to himself.  "In fact, it was quite lovely in the springtime."

            "Hmph!" was all the reply he got.

            "Well, what do you think, Sir Ludo?"

            Ludo just gave them a blank stare.  "Think?" he asked in his gravely singsong voice.

            "Yes, about the Bog of Eternal Stench."

            Ludo wrinkled his great big nose.  "Mmm – smell BAAAD!" he said, waving his giant paw in front of his face.

            "See?" Hoggle said sourly.  Sir Didymus just shrugged and shook his head in confusion.  "Well, Ambrosias didn't mind it any."

---

            A goblin ran, tripping, into the throne room.  "They're here, your majesty!"

            Jareth sat forward.  "It's about time.  Quiet, all of you, I have business to attend to."  The very stern look he gave all of them caused every goblin in the room to shut his mouth and sit as still as possible.  One goblin even looked at the chicken sitting next to him and put his finger to his mouth, shushing it.  "Send them in."

            Despite the grim situation at hand, he couldn't help but be a little amused at the sight of the three of them creeping in wide eyed, bumping into each other, clumsily trying to find the balance between respect and dignity.  There were only three because Ambrosias, being the cowardly dog that he was, wouldn't budge from the steps leading to the castle doors.  Jareth saw that it was taking all of Hoggle's willpower not to throw himself at his feet and grovel.  He smiled at this and stood, circling them.

            "Well, well, well, what have we here?  Sir Didymus, my valiant knight who guards the Bog of Eternal Stench… Ludo, my faithful beast, terrorizing those who lose their way in the hedge maze… and Hoggle…keeper of the weeds that lie along the outer walls," he said slowly, testing each name.  "It's been quite a while, hasn't it?"

            At this, Sir Didymus swept off his hat and bowed.  The two others followed suit, Ludo becoming distracted and waving to a goblin he thought he recognized through his legs.

            Jareth suppressed a smile and continued, "I trust that good fortune has found the three of you."

            The three exchanged uneasy glances.  They did _not_ want to go there.

            "Well, you _look_ good.  You've been living easily.  No… accidents or mishaps have befallen you."  By this time Hoggle was shaking in his boots.  Ludo looked confused.  Sir Didymus looked alarmed but shook it off. 

            "My Liege, may I offer, on behalf of my brothers and I, our most sincere apologies.  We never meant to take any action that could be construed as a betrayal," he said, ignoring the murderous looks that Hoggle was giving him, "but the fair maiden was in need of our aid.  My code of chivalry would not allow me to abandon her to danger.  I do hope you'll understand."

            "Oh, you do?" he leered at them all, especially at Hoggle.  There was something about it, he couldn't resist egging him on.  It was probably because the little dwarf played into it so easily.  "Is there any good reason why I shouldn't drop you all into the bog for your treachery?  Or, let's see, I _could_ keep you in one of my oubliettes."

            They all shrank a little.  Then he sighed and smiled grimly.

            "Well you don't need to worry about any of that.  That's not why I have summoned you here today."

            Confusion was the look on their faces now.  "Uhhh, it isn't?" Hoggle asked, his bushy eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

            "No, I need to know something."  He hesitated.  "You three have had contact with the Lady Sarah since she left here, haven't you?"

            They all shuffled their feet.  "Well, yeah, uh…" Hoggle began.

            Sir Didymus spoke up.  "The maiden has a mirror in her bedchambers.  We have spoken to her through that.  We felt that she'd need us from time to time. She said as much the night she was here, as well as that she didn't want to put this world completely behind her.  So we thought it would be a good idea to stay in touch with her."

            Jareth felt some small hope at his but impatiently brushed it away.  "What I want to know is, have you contacted her recently?"

            "Why no, she has not called.  Why, my Liege is something the matter?"

            "I'm not sure yet.  Is there any way for you to initiate contact?"

            Sir Didymus thought for a second, "Yes, we can but she must be in that room at the time.  I know not where else to find her."

            "Try," he sighed deeply.  "I don't know, maybe she's hiding from me or something.  She trusts you; she'll listen to you.  If you can get to her, _then_ I'll know she's okay."

            "Uhhh, what's going on?  Is the little lady in some kind of trouble?" Hoggle asked nervously. 

            "That's the problem -- I don't know.  I can't find her.  I've gone Aboveground, to her house, and she seems to have disappeared.  Her belongings are all still in her room but _she hasn't_ been for a couple of weeks now."

            Something clicked in Ludo's mind.  "Sawah?"

            "Yes," Jareth looked at him hopefully.  Maybe he knew something.

            "Sawah fwiend!" he said brightly, feeling very pleased with himself.  The others just sighed.

---

            "Okay now, does anybody have anything to say about this?  Do you all agree with Chad's methods of coping?  Can any of you think of another way to handle this…?  Come on people, we're looking for ways to be constructive.  Apathy will not help us."

            No one said anything.  A truck could be heard passing by on the road below.  The clock on the wall ticked the seconds away.

            "Constructive… contribute; there's a reason why both these words begin the same," the counselor said dryly.  This one's name was Sharon… or Beth. Who knew?  Whoever she was, she sighed as if exhausted.  "Sarah?  You haven't said anything this whole time.  Don't you have anything to contribute?"

            Sarah glanced over, hearing her name.  She'd been staring out the window, not paying attention.  It was something about the room; the sickly yellow walls casting a light on the room that made the air feel sterile and lifeless.  The kids sitting in a circle on their little wooden chairs, some still in their nightclothes, messy hair.  The eyes that surrounded her – some were red rimmed, some were scowling and ready to pick a fight, some were just blank.  The thing they all had in common was they all looked trapped, chained in some way.  Sarah wondered if her own eyes had begun to look like that, and so she'd looked away.

_I understand what I am still too proud to mention to you…_

            She suddenly felt guilty as she realized all those eyes were now centered on her.

            "Do you have anything to add Sarah?" Sharon-or-Beth asked expectantly.

_You'll never touch these things that I hold,_

_The skin of my emotions lies beneath my own…_

            "No… um, I agree with… whatever… you guys were saying," she said, her cheeks flaming.

            "So… you're just wasting our time then, is that it?"

            Sarah stared at her, then sat back and looked at the floor.

_You'll never feel the heat of this soul,_

_My fever burns me deeper than I've ever shown to you…_

            "You know, it's not like I asked to be here."

---

            That afternoon, Sarah sat on a chair in front of the window in her room.  Her bare feet were drawn up on the rim of her chair, and her chin rested on her knees.  Outside the still almost bare branches tangled in the wind.  It looked as cold out there as she felt inside.  She wiped angrily at the betraying tears that escaped, thankful that she'd at least been able to hide them until she was safely alone.

_You'll say I need appeasing when I start to cry…(never is a promise)_

            She'd been given quite a tongue lashing by Laurel for giving the counselor an "attitude" in front of all of the others.  Some stupid thing about 'undermining her authority' or something.  Sarah felt so hopeless.  It had been weeks and no one had called, not even her father.  She was beginning to lose hope that she'd ever get out.  That thought panicked her more than anything else.  She could **_not_** afford to give up now.  She had to get out of there.

_I don't know what to believe in, you don't know who I am…_

_---_

            That night, when all was quiet, she silently opened her door and peeked out.  Gertrude was in her office, in front of her little TV.  By the way her head was leaning on her shoulder Sarah could tell she was asleep.  She carefully crept under the window, keeping the shoes she'd tied together and hung around her neck from bumping together.  She figured it would be quieter to walk in her socks till she got outside.  She crept over to the stairwell, hoping that door she'd overheard one of the nurses complaining about earlier was still not latching properly.  She kept to the shadows as much as possible.  She hadn't seen the first floor, didn't know how tight security was.  She was sensible enough to know it would be very difficult, if not impossible, but she had to try.  She'd hide in a stupid broom closet till an opportunity for escape came if she had to.  She had to get out of here; she'd risk anything at this point.  She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that the door was open a crack, and gave a silent thanks to whoever had been so careless.  Quiet as a mouse she slipped down the cold concrete stairwell.  When she got to the bottom she peered through the glass and waited for about ten minutes in the dark.  When no one came by she tried the door.  The smooth cool knob turned easily under her hand.  She smiled and slowly eased the door open, but before she could stop it, the hinges gave a really loud, achingly slow creak.  She swore softly, and stopped the door but it was too late.  A beam of light was shone in her eyes, blinding her. 

            "Hey!"

            She turned and ran back up, her socks slipping on the stairs, the security guard and the nurse from the first floor hot in pursuit.  Her shoes were banging on her back so she threw them off.  They clattered down the stairs almost tripping the guard.  He caught her just as she got to her floor, manhandling her roughly, pulling her over to the nurse's station.  The other nurse woke Gertrude.

            "She one of yours?"

            Gertrude nodded.  "Yeah, she belongs on this floor," she said in sleepy disgust.  "Lemme show you where she goes."

            The hands on Sarah's shoulders firmly steered her back into her prison cell of a room.

            Gertrude glared balefully.  "I gotta lock you in now Sarah.  I didn't want to resort to this, but you pushed me to it.  And Laurel _will _hear about this, make no mistake," she said as she shut the door.

            The lock slid into place audibly.  Sarah paced her room like a tiger in a small cage.

_You'll say it looks as though I might give up this fight…_

            She looked out her window and a second later the chair was in her hands.  It sailed into the window with all the force behind it she could muster. Unfortunately the glass was tempered.  So aside from a splendid shattering sound not much happened.  She raised the chair to hit it again but before she could hit it again and inflict any more damage the security guard and Gertrude were there pulling her away.  The guard's vise like grip on her wrists forced her to drop the chair.  Panic took over and she struggled until she felt that familiar prick of a needle and the ever faithful numb that followed.  She slumped to her knees in defeat.

_You'll never live this life that I live,_

_You'll never hear the message I give…_

_---_

            "What are we going to do?  We can't afford to let her break another window.  We don't have enough money to bar all of the windows, and you _know_ that if we bar hers the board will make us do them all.  So that won't work," David sighed and ran his hand through his hair.  "Can't we just keep her on a constant sedative?"

            "God David!"  Laurel's laugh was accompanied by a withering look.  "That would vegetablize her.  I think we'd have a bit of a problem with her parents if she left here in worse shape than when she came.  Then we'd _really_ be investigated."

            "Well, what would you suggest Laurel?"

            She thought a minute.  "Look, we'll continue with the regular dose of sedatives and other than that, if she acts up… we'll just put her in restraints."

_You'll say you understand…you'll never understand…_

_---_

            Jareth looked up as the three creatures entered his throne room again and stood before him.  "Well?"

            "No your Majesty, we could not find her," Sir Didymus said sadly.

            "That's what I was afraid of."

            The little fox terrier's ears pricked up hopefully.  "Maybe she will return soon."

            He sighed, "I don't know. I've waited and watched for days on end and there's been no sign of her.  I've listened in on her father and his wife and something just… _seems_ wrong.  Everyone seems to be under some sort of strain.  There's something they won't talk about."

            Hoggle, showing one of his rare moments of bravery stepped forward and spoke up.  "Whatever we can do to help find the little lady, uhhh, what I mean to say is, we'll do anything."

            "Find Sawah… Sawah fwiend!" Ludo said mournfully.

            "We'll find her," Jareth said, scratching him behind one ear absentmindedly.  He was rewarded with a question. 

            "Fwiend?"

            "Wouldst thou mind my asking why you have sought out the Lady Sarah after all this time?"

            "Because I think she can help heal the Labyrinth," he replied, adding under his breath, "and because she belongs here."

            Sir Didymus was the only one to catch this last bit but he just widened his eyes a little and said nothing.

~*Lyrics from **Never Is A Promise**, by Fiona Apple*~


	12. Secret

Hey everybody! I hope you've been enjoying the story so far. I appreciate all of the helpful comments and suggestions you guys have been giving me. Before we start, I have one quick thing to ask everybody. This has nothing to do with this actual story, just with the movie. I recently got a cell phone and I have been busy downloading little ring tone jingles. I have been looking everywhere for a song from Labyrinth but _alas _I have found nothing. (sniff, sniff) So, I went to the compose section of my phone typed in the first fifty notes or so of the opening song and saved it on my phone. (It actually doesn't sound too bad.) But does anybody know where I can find a jingle somewhere that I can download? Just thought I'd ask. Anyway, on to the story!

**Ch. 12** – Secret

And I knew then it would be / a life long thing / 

_But I didn't know that we / we could break a silver lining…_

            Sarah groaned as she awoke.  Her head felt like it was filled with clay, the way it always felt when they'd shot her full of drugs. 

            'How long have I been out this time?' she wondered as she moved to sit up.  A flash of pain from her wrists stopped her in her tracks.  She gasped and carefully propped herself up on her elbows to get a better look.  Neither of her wrists would move more than a few inches.  Around each of them was a thick cuff made of cotton and tied around each of _those _was a flat band of nylon, the other end of which disappeared somewhere underneath her mattress.  From her limited view she could see the skin of her wrists were bruised.  She must have been pulling against them in her sleep.  As if that weren't enough, shifting her legs slightly told her that her ankles were just as securely tied. 

            "Damn!" she muttered as she threw her head back against the pillow.  "Well, I guess that's I get for breaking the window."

            She turned her head and saw that it was already taped up and all the glass dust cleaned up and taken away. 

            'Now what?' she wondered staring up at the ceiling.  She wasn't very comfortable and not being able to move wasn't helping.  She wanted to get up but she couldn't.  She felt like a turtle stuck on its back and had to fight the feeling of panic that threatened.  She truly hated the feeling of being held down and it was all she could do, for a minute, to keep from screaming and pulling with all her might to get free.  'Calm down Sarah, don't let them get to you.  Losing it now is not going to help you!'

            She had to say this in her head a few times but eventually her breathing slowed and her fingers loosened from the fists she hadn't even known she'd been making.  She forced herself to lay back and relax, wondering if they were watching her.

            The hours crept by and now Sarah wondered if they were using boredom as punishment.  No one had come into her room, not even to chew her out about the window.  She was left all alone with nothing but her thoughts.  Thoughts, which she usually kept pushed to the dusty corners of her mind, now crowded the forefront, all of them fighting for attention.  Thoughts about what had happened a year ago, more than a year now.  She gave a small laugh. 

            'And I thought my life was bad then,' she mused and laughed again, picturing the image she made tied to a bed in some rusty old asylum.  She'd have kept on laughing if it weren't so dismally sad.  Her thoughts jumped to him… the Goblin King.  Her face felt hot and she wondered what he'd say if he were to see her here.  Probably laugh, he'd probably say 'I told you so' or something.  He'd given her a shot at her dreams and she'd refused them and now look where it had gotten her.

            'Would he?  Would he sneer and mock or would he just look at me in a sad yet detached manner and say 'What a pity' again, before going back to his own world and ruling over his goblins.  Would he say anything at all?'  Deny as she might, Sarah knew she cared way too much about what he _might_ say or think. She felt it a betrayal of herself and the struggle she'd gone through to admit this though…

            *It had all started out so clearly.  They'd stood on opposite sides of a very obvious line, as adversaries.  She, the unwitting heroine, ready to face anything he might throw her way.  He the mythical villain, tricks up his sleeve, quickly ascertaining her weaknesses, things he could use against her.  It was the stuff of legends and she reveled in the fact that it was actually real.  She was determined to play her part well.  But somewhere along the way the lines had become blurred. Maybe it was clear at the beginning when he'd offered her that crystal.  _How had he known just what to offer?_  Had it been jewels or power of some sort she could have easily turned it down.  But to offer her dreams to her – for an instant she'd caught this vague feeling, a current of something like familiarity, of being known secretly.  It was fleeting, and then she'd settled on the thought that he knew what he was doing, he _knew_ what would tempt her, or maybe he'd simply read her mind.  She couldn't afford to fall for it, but no one ever knew how close she'd come to accepting his gift that night.

            The difficulty of her mission was good in that it kept her mind busy – and off of him.  The seeming unfairness of it all also helped keep him as the villain in her mind, which was easier to live with.  Then, she'd had to face him in those caverns and her carefully built defenses _almost _came crumbling down.  Sure she was a little frightened, but underneath that she was also slightly fascinated.  Something about the way he moved and talked, there was something very declarative in it. She remembered thinking at the time that if he were moving poetry, there would never even be a _hint _of a question mark anywhere.  Then he'd stood so close, looked into her eyes and asked how she was enjoying herself in a sincere voice, like he really cared.  It was just like on the hill outside the Labyrinth walls when he'd crept up silently behind her and startled her with his voice in her ear.  Being in such close proximity to him was like standing outside right before a big thunderstorm and the very air crackles in anticipation.  She supposed it was the magic, like a current of electricity.  It made her feel very vulnerable to be affected so against her will.  So, she'd gotten a little defensive; shot her mouth off, which probably wasn't such a good idea.  She'd called his Labyrinth a piece of cake, not that it was by any means true, but it seemed to cover up the fact that her heart pounded in her ears and her hands shook.  **Big **mistake, and she knew it when she saw the dark look in his eye, that glitter of anger. 

            'Impulsive,' she realized, looking at her window again.  'Look at me – I get vulnerable and then I get impulsive.  I end up being chased by those 'cleaner' things, or tied to a bed.'  _But she'd been okay before. _ She'd gone on, facing those dangers and hardships – they were easier to face than the darkness growing within, the little voices that said to give up, to relinquish everything to him.

            Then he'd gotten Hoggle to give her that drugged peach.  This part was cloudy in her memory.  She'd seen herself inside this floating bubble, but she hadn't known if it was real or just a figment of her now intoxicated imagination.  Then she was really there and it was this huge masquerade ball, filled with extravagantly dressed people.  _In a bubble?!  And where did this dress come from?  _She felt so out of place, like a kid who'd snuck into the grownups' party.  She couldn't tell why she was there; she'd forgotten nearly everything else.  She knew where she was, but didn't question it – she couldn't really quite tell where she belonged, so here was as good a place as any.  Except for the way they all looked at her, amused, expectant.  Like they knew something she didn't, some secret everyone was privy to but her.  Were they all Fae too?  Members of some other kingdom, perhaps?  Royalty?  It seemed so.  She did know who's party they were guests at for they each wore a mask; each a sinister parody of a goblin.  There was something opulent and licentious about it all. 

            She was wandering among them and _what was she looking for again?  _Then… she saw him and everything else in her mind fell away, forgotten.  She'd found what she had been searching for, hadn't she?  He disappeared, made her search for him, teasing her, always one step ahead.  She didn't know what to make of this sudden change.  If this was who she was searching for, then why did her mind tell her she'd been fighting against him?  No time to find the answer for there he was, right before her. The sight of him on the arm of the two beautiful looking Fae made her youth feel so painfully apparent, she'd have turned and fled had he not gracefully brushed them off and approached her beckoningly.  Her breath caught as she allowed him to take her hand, hoping it didn't tremble.  He swept her into his arms with a flourish and her head spun.  It was confusing being in the arms of one who might be her enemy, listening as he sang to her.  She wondered if she'd possibly made a mistake earlier.  It was so easy to let herself be caught up in this feeling, the rightness of it all, that she could have stayed forever.  If not for those eyes surrounding them, they seemed too eager the way they all crowded around, watching and waiting. 

            'Waiting for what?' a vague dread asked at the back of her mind.  Then the sight of that clock hit her like a bucket of ice-cold water.  For a second she'd had it, something or someone she had to save, and she was running out of time.  It passed but was enough to pull her from his insistent grasp, shrug off the hands that tried to push her back into his embrace, enough even to squelch the voices in her own head that said to go back to the warmth.  She fled, hearing only the screams as she broke through the bubble; shattered the dream, beautiful as it was.

            She found herself in harsh unyielding reality again.  The sheer smell of it cleared her head somewhat, though it wasn't until she'd seen what she thought was her room, seen the book, that she remembered.  She remembered Toby then, as well as her mission, learning a lesson in the process about the material things she'd once thought were more important than people.  She'd looked at that shriveled thing, that junk lady there with her, and saw what one could become when they hoarded and surrounded themselves with meaningless possessions to the extent where they shut everything and everyone else out.  She saw what _she_ could become.  And with that learning the walls of her "room" had come crashing down and it wasn't just pretend walls she'd broken down – they were the walls of her childhood.  It felt something like growing up, but she couldn't let herself feel any sadness just then, for her greatest battle lay ahead, with him.  The Goblin King.

            She made it through the battle with the goblins with nothing more than racing adrenaline and a feeling of exultation, that she was ready for anything.  She'd rushed into the room of stairs, at once fascinated by its likeness to her _Relativity_ poster, by Escher, that she'd spent hours studying at home.  Only the task at hand kept her from sitting down and taking in the magnificence of it all.  Even so she walked up to a ledge to look down into its depths and saw him, looking up at her. He was standing directly underneath her, upside down, her mirror image.  Her breath caught, from the sight of him, and even more so because he began to sing to her again.  She _was_ slightly distracted once he'd shown her where Toby was and she'd run off trying to get to him.  He probably thought that she wasn't listening, but she _was, _to every word.  There was something about it, and the occasional sight of him that was sad, a feeling of breaking away, of something ending, like a dream.  Except that it was real this time and not just a popped bubble.  It almost stopped her in her tracks; it would have if it were not for the sight of her baby brother, so helpless on the brink of danger.  Standing above him she felt the danger of jumping.  It was a very long drop and that was _no _bed of flowers she would be falling on – it was stone. _Bone breaking hard_ stone.  She jumped anyway.

            Sarah sighed deeply.  She didn't really want to remember this last confrontation – in a strange way it hurt to think of it.  He'd come out of the shadows, wearing all white, with this look on his face.  Danger, longing, and temptation all rolled into one.  It proved to be her greatest battle because she fought not only against him, but herself as well.  Her own betraying feelings and those damned blurry lines.  Only the struggles she'd faced and the lessons she'd learned along the way let her say truthfully that her will _was_ as strong as his.  Her journey had put her on an equal level with him.  He spoke to her of his generosity and part of her had to admit this truth, but she didn't have time to think about what it all meant, though she wanted to.  There was a why in her mind that she just couldn't give voice to.  'Why help her, why do all that for her?  _For her?_'  She was afraid of what the answer would be – that these things _weren't_ really done for her, that it was just something to use against her, that she was just a pawn.

            He offered her dreams to her again, saying the word _dreams_ **so** beseechingly.  "…just let me rule you," he'd said and she'd had to work really hard to keep control.  That one simple statement brought a flush to her cheek, as did the next: "…just fear me, love me…"  Had he really said that?!  She instantly felt the possibility of it, believed in it, could it be?  It _was_ her dream – a love strong enough to bridge actual worlds.  But that thought led to the painful but inevitable next one – that he was **_that_** good at his game.  He knew her greatest weakness and was exploiting it.  Never before had she felt like **_such_**a child in his eyes.

            She remembered the words then, the cursed words, and though her insides screamed at her not to say them, she knew she must.  She couldn't be tricked; as much as it hurt, she couldn't let herself think that he felt anything for her.  Foolish the thought – he was ageless, doubtless he'd dealt with many girls such as she through the years, older, wiser, beautiful girls and yet had beaten them all.  This was nothing more than a day's work for him.  She would not be defeated by that, especially when her little brother's freedom hung in the balance.  So she said them.

            Forever would that look on his face haunt her.  It wasn't just defeat she saw in those broken, mismatched eyes.  It was loss, longing, and something more that wasn't quite blame.  Something that said 'if only you knew'.  She saw it in her dreams for weeks on end and she'd wake up, that middle-of-the-night glow on her bed, feeling like she had lost something she'd never get back.  She would have to go into her brother's room, look at Toby sleeping there peacefully and happily, to remember why she had done it.  To get some semblance of the feeling that she'd done the right thing.  Seeing him, and imagining the happy life he'd have with both a mom and a dad who loved him, as well as a big sister who'd recently gained a new appreciation for him was the only thing that seemed to make sense.

            But she still had her secret.  By all appearances she'd gotten through unscathed, but she knew she hadn't.  There was some part of her that had stayed back there, some part of her that would always belong to him.  She never told anyone, not even her new friends for she didn't want them to know of her foolishness.  They were proud of her for standing up to him, they thought her powerful, unaffected, maybe even superior to their King, but if they knew of her true feelings…  She _knew_ the harsh rules of truth and reality; she didn't _want_ to hear it from their lips.  Didn't want to be forced to face it.  So it remained her secret, locked up in her heart, like a jewel.  Her dream and her tragedy.  Her source of strength when dealing with those of this world and her undoing when facing herself.* 

            And now…?  Pride kept her from calling to him for help, fear told her he wouldn't come if she asked.  What was the use?  She couldn't even bring herself to say his name.  All she had now was this jewel.  It cut at her.

_…and I'm so sad / like a good book / I can't put this day back / _

_a sorta fairy tale with you…_

**~***Lyrics from **a sorta fairy tale**, by Tori Amos*~


	13. Rules of the Game

**Ch. 13 – **Rules of the Game

            Laurel sighed as she walked down the darkened hallway, making her way over to the conference room.  She knew this would happen sooner or later.  It was always such a pain dealing with the family members of patients, and this would be no different, she knew, as she drew closer and heard Robert's irate voice spilling out into the hall.

            'Here goes,' she thought, pausing for a brief second at the door.

            "Finally!" Robert said.  "Laurel, I really want to see my daughter and I don't understand why it is that I can't.  These people here keep saying that I have to make an appointment but when I do call, I can't get a straight answer out of anyone.  What's going on?"  His face was flushed and his hair stood up in places.  One of the nurses, a young man whose smile unnerved even Laurel stepped forward.

            "Sir, will you please calm down?"

            "No, I will not calm down!  I want some answers and I want them now!"  He seemed very stressed.

            Laurel smiled grimly.  "Why don't you have a seat?  Let me tell you what's been going on with Sarah and then we'll go from there."  She pointedly said nothing more until he sat and then continued.  "Sarah hasn't been responding the way we would like to the various treatments we've been trying with her.  She's become more and more difficult.  In fact, she even broke her window the other night and tried to run away."

            Robert looked horrified.  Before he could say anything she continued.  "She's _not_ ready to see any of you yet.  Just give her some space to work things out on her own.  Give her some time and we'll see where we are then."

            Robert wasn't convinced.  "I just want to see her.  Not for very long or anything, just to say hi, you know – to see that she's okay and everything," he said, looking her straight in the eye.  "I'm sure you can do that!"

            Laurel smiled tightly.  "See, I'd love to help you out and everything, but --," 

            "She's my _daughter_," he interrupted.  "Are you going to tell my that I can't see my own daughter?"  His voice was rising again.

            "That's the thing.  She doesn't_ want_ to see you.  And if she doesn't want to, we can not and _will not_ force her."

            Robert was very quiet.  He looked like he'd been shot.  His shoulders slumped and without another word he got up and left.

---

            A few days passed and during this time Sarah learned something, in those rare moments of coherency they allowed her.  If she played good, they didn't tie her down as tightly.  They said it was all a matter of how much of a threat she was to the safety of herself and those around her.  Be a good girl, and she could sit _up_ in bed.  Be a _really_ good girl and a nurse would take her out to the TV room to sit on a couch.  She'd be free of the wristbands as long as she cooperated. 

            She still had her studies during the day, and eventually was allowed, once again, to spend time in the art room.  Most days were spent in front of the piano while the other girls drew or painted.  Joely had been right – no one paid her any attention.  The nurse assigned to her just sat in a chair next to the piano and knitted or flipped through a magazine.  Joely would smile, mumble a nervous hi, and quickly go back to her own seat.  She didn't know what to say to Sarah anymore.

            Sarah was learning the rules of the game, but even so, this knowledge did not always keep her in line.  It was an emotional roller coaster some days. They'd adjusted her medication.  Aside from the stuff they gave her when she acted up, the stuff that _really_knocked her out, she was now on something a little lighter than the pills she'd been taking before.  These didn't make her sleep – she could get up, move around, but they kept her in a muddled state.  _Very easy to control._  One side effect of this was something almost like short-term memory loss.  Fortunately from time to time, the medication wore off a few hours sooner than the doctors had anticipated.  When Sarah realized this she quickly learnednot to let on.  She'd be very subdued but at least she could think straight.  The nurses, pleased at her docility, never caught on.  But when she was on the stuff, when the chemicals ran rampant through her system, things became very fuzzy in her mind.  Things that had happened, things that _hadn't_, things that _might_ happen in the future, the hospital, home, the outside world; these things crashed into each other like so many mirror images and Sarah couldn't tell one broken piece from another in order to put them all back together again. 

            One day, a nurse found her rushing through the halls and stopped her to ask what the matter was. 

            "I'm late," she said breathlessly.  "It's Friday, right?  I have to baby-sit Toby tonight and if I don't get home, Karen's gonna be mad again."

            Another day, she sat by an open window fanning herself in the early summer heat.  She had her suitcase by her feet.  Some of the other girls in the room noticed.

            "Are you leaving?" one of them asked incredulously.

            Sarah smiled happily.  "I talked to my mom last night.  She's been away at a movie shoot and she didn't even know I was here.  It was all some big mistake.  Anyway, she's home now and she's picking me up," she replied, showing them the newspaper clippings from her scrapbook.

            Gertrude, overhearing this, asked the girls to excuse her and Sarah for a moment.  "Sarah, I don't know where you're getting this from.  Your mother isn't alive, remember?"

            "What are you talking about?" Sarah asked, horrified.

            "Sarah, your mother died almost a year ago.  Did you forget?  I'm so sorry but it's the truth."

            "You're a liar!" she shouted, even though she remembered now.  Her chair fell over as she jumped up but she didn't bother picking it up.  She ran back to her room feeling like she was choking, and once safely behind her door, she leaned against it, shaking, for a few seconds before falling to her knees and crawling over to her bed.  Even though she already knew, it was like hearing it for the first time.  She cried for three days.

---

            Those three days were nothing short of hell for Jareth.  He sat by for hours on end watching Sarah cry, unable to do anything.  The only good that came from this was that he was able to see her, so at least he knew that she was okay.  He sat, brooding on his throne, watching as she laid on her bed, refusing to get up, refusing to eat.  He tried to glean any possible information that he could.  Like the bed she was on – he could see a little of it from the way she was laying.  It obviously wasn't the one in her room; he'd spent enough hours studying _that_ one to know the difference.  He knew someone checked on her regularly, offered food.  So wherever she was, she wasn't alone.  After a day and a half of lying there, someone made her get up and walk around.  He could see the way the light played over her tearstained face, like passing windows.  The third day she was brought somewhere, another room that she wasn't quite comfortable in.  He couldn't make out what the other person was saying; only Sarah's muted replies.

            "I'm fine… I just don't want to talk about it."

            "…… _bzzz, bzzz_……_bzzz_…"

_            Sniff.  _"Yes, I promise…" and then she faded again.  Whoever she was with, it was apparent that she didn't want to share her feelings and so she shut them off, built a wall, which unfortunately included Jareth.

---

            More time passed for Sarah, some days crawling and some flying by in a haze.  She was tested and the results were sent to the home school in her district. The "report card" came back; she'd passed eleventh grade. 

            Some days were better, especially when they'd leave her alone to play her songs, strange as they sounded to the nurses and other staff.  Laurel still visited twice a week and Sarah would sit for an hour in her tiny makeshift office.  Laurel was there on other days seeing other patients, but Sarah always avoided her on those days if possible.

            One such scheduled therapy day held a somewhat startling surprise for Sarah when she arrived at the office.

            "Well, according to your file, today's your birthday!"

            "What?" Sarah sat forward, trying to focus her fuzzy mind on her doctor. 

            "July 18th.  You're seventeen now," she said, smiling.

            "Oh," Sarah didn't know what to think.  _How much time had passed?  _On her last birthday she had been in London, with…  '_No!  Don't think about that!'  _She shook the thought out of her head.

            "Is anything wrong Sarah?" Laurel asked.

            She shook her head and Laurel went back to whatever it was that they always talked about when they met.

            Sarah just kept hearing the word _seventeen_ in her head.  "Can I leave when I turn eighteen?" she asked, interrupting Laurel.  "I mean, providing I'm not out of here before then.  Which I probably will be."

            Laurel, slightly miffed at being cut off, said, "Well, no.  Not if the state deems you unworthy of making your own conscious decisions."

            "What do you mean, _the state_?"

            "Fairhaven is a state-run institution.  We go by guidelines they set out and these guidelines decide if you're capable of being on your own or if you still need to be in a restrictive environment."

            "Oh," she slumped back in her seat.  "Great."

---

            Eventually the weather grew cool again.  Sarah would stand for hours, if they'd let her, by the window in the TV room, staring out, watching the leaves falling from the trees.  The view was better here than in her room.

            The other patients talked to her sometimes, and sometimes they let her be.  Everyone here seemed to exist side by side, occasionally interacting, but usually in their own worlds.  Sarah watched the rain as it fell, remembering carefree days of long ago.  She'd _played_ in that rain, at the park, her park.  She'd loved the way the rain hit the surface of the water, made it look blurry and cloudy.  She'd either sit at its edge or lean over the side of one of the many stone bridges that spanned the river.  Now all she could do was place the palm of one hand against the windowpane where the tiny drops streaked past and imagine what it felt like.

            Frost touched the ground at night now, and in the mornings the bare branches were full of tiny icicles.  It snowed once, but by the next afternoon it had melted away into slushy puddles.  Everything was mud and soon Sarah didn't feel as inclined to spend her time gazing outside.  Sometimes being kept indoors for so long got to her, and she'd get tense and snappy.  She didn't mean to, it was just the way they all looked.  The glances they thought she missed, like silent communication.  She was still forced to go sit in front of Sharon-or-Beth and pretend to find the answers to all of life's questions every other day.  Sometimes she made them draw pictures about how they were feeling.  One such day, she walked around the room, looking over shoulders at pictures of crying stick figures or people hugging each other, kids hiding under tables, people with no arms with which to protect themselves.

            "Sarah, you haven't drawn anything."

            "That's how I feel today."

            Sharon-or-Beth nodded curtly and handed her another piece of paper.  "Here, keep the other one, and on this one draw how you wish to feel."

            Sarah took it and colored the entire thing black.

            The next time, they were asked to draw how they felt about themselves in relation to Fairhaven.  Sharon-or-Beth handed out small mirrors as she explained, "Does Fairhaven make you feel safe?  Do you feel you've improved since coming here?"

            Sarah sat in front of her mirror and drew her portrait but where her eyes were she drew two black holes and she drew her lips melting together.  As she finished up she felt the counselor's presence at her back, but nothing was said and that was fine with her. To Sarah, the drawing needed no explanation. 

            She still occasionally got into arguments with Sharon-or-Beth, especially when she didn't go along with the whole "let's all be happy now" thing.  Sometimes these fights would stop before they went too far but because her medication threw her off balance, sometimes she couldn't stop herself before she got out of control.  All too often, she'd find herself sitting in bed in her wristbands again.  They were so nervous about her breaking something again that they opted for this every time she seemed to get too angry.  Their methods were strange because the very medication that was supposed to make her better made her feel more out of control and sometimes when confined to her room she'd feel the aching need to shed blood.  She felt too trapped by them, their power and all of their rules. When they noticed the new cuts on her arms and legs they went through her room, removing any sharp objects they could find.  So she'd scratch her skin with her fingernails, or pull at her wristbands, reveling in the bruises that this produced.  She loved her scars; she'd gaze at them, running her fingers over them, holding them up to the light.  They were a part of who she was; they understood things she could not voice.

            More snow came, blanketing the land, making everything outside muffled sounding.  Not that they ever let her go outside, or anything.  She heard that some of the less restrictive wards got to go on occasional outings.  It was usually for some educational purpose, but anything would have been better than staying there all the time.

            Time passed and slowly the snow turned back into rain and mud and eventually this too stopped.  Little by little the ground dried itself out and the sun began to cautiously show its face once again.

---

            Things at home were uneventful, if strained.  Robert spent more and more time at work and Karen watched soap operas and spent all of her time on the phone with her friends in order to fill the silence.  Little Toby was confused by the changes in the house.  He had developed a curious habit of pausing by his sister's vacant room and looking in every time he passed.  It was so quiet in there now, no big sister to chase him out, or pull him in for a hug and a story.

            One morning he was sitting at the kitchen table, proud of the fact that he was old enough to sit in his own chair like a big boy.  Of course the table came up all the way to his nose, but that didn't put him off any.  He was finishing his breakfast while his mother made herself some tea.

            "Mommy?"

            "Yes dear," she replied absentmindedly.

            "Where's Sarah?"

            Karen froze and turned, glancing at her son sharply.  "What do you mean, honey?"

            "How come she not here?"

            "Well…Sarah's staying with some people right now."

            "Why?"

            "She… well, uh she wasn't feeling very well, and so these people are going to help her feel better."

            "Oh… like a tummy ache?"

            "Yes, kind of like that."  Karen smiled, wondering if her young son could see how transparent she was.

---

           Robert still called the hospital, although they never told Sarah.  He wanted constant updates on his daughter's condition, which irritated Laurel to no end. He was getting so adamant about his rights to see his daughter that his wife was even starting to ask questions.  Laurel didn't want to take any chances so she finally consented to giving them thirty minutes, on the basis that this satisfy them for a while and they didn't start showing up every week.  She was quick to point out that Sarah still needed time to recover.  Robert quickly agreed and brought the whole family to the conference room on the scheduled day.  Laurel wasn't too worried about this meeting because Sarah was still coming down from the meds they'd given her the night before.  She led her charge down the hall, and opened the door for her.

           Robert stood as they entered.  He tried not to let his dismay show on his face as he took in his daughter's appearance.  Her clothes hung off of her thin frame.  She barely raised her eyes and when she did they were glazed and unfocused.  Her hair hung in her face.

           "Sarah, honey.  I'm so glad to see you," he said.  She gave a feeble smile and allowed him to wrap her in a warm hug.

           "Hi…dad," she murmured softly.

           Karen came next and gave her a light hug, which she simply tolerated with a polite smile.

           "There's someone here who's been asking about you Sarah," her father said, leading Toby over by the hand.  His initial shyness at seeing his sister again in such a strange place quickly faded.  He bounced over, smiling brightly.  Sarah sat in a chair and held her arms out to her little brother.  He climbed into her lap and she just held him close in her arms with her eyes closed, smelling his hair, feeling his small hands on her arms.  A memory surfaced: her fourteenth birthday. Morning.  She'd come downstairs to a celebratory breakfast cooked by her father.  After bestowing upon her a few gifts, a necklace from her father and a journal from Karen, they told her they had another present.  Robert, beaming, went to stand behind Karen's chair and announced the big surprise, that Karen was three months pregnant.  They were going to have a baby and Sarah was going to be a big sister.  She choked on her orange juice upon hearing this and quickly excused herself, leaving behind two very flustered soon to be parents. 

           She smiled now and opened her eyes.  The sunlight bounced off of Toby's hair, making it glow.

            "I'm _free_ now," Toby said, holding up three fingers.  "See Sarah?  I was this many…and now I'm this many."

            "You're such a big boy now.  I'm sorry that I didn't get you a present or anything."

            He hugged her.  "That's okay Sarah! Is your tummy ache better almost?"

            Karen laughed nervously at this comment and Sarah's resulting look of confusion.  "Toby don't pester your sister."

            Sarah looked suspiciously at her stepmother from over Toby's head, which Karen didn't notice.  She hugged Toby tighter.  Holding her little brother, she could forget about everything else for a while.  Clarity returned and briefly everything seemed to make sense once again.  Her parents and Laurel talked about what went on at the facility.  With her brother so close, Sarah could smile and nod at all of the nonsense spewing out of their mouths.  Stuff like how she looked so great, she looked like she was getting better, getting more rest, and especially about what a great place this was.  What she really wanted to do was to tell them the truth about this place and what they did here.  That she really just wanted to go home, she would have promised anything at that point.  She was afraid to say any of this though with Laurel there, she knew how quick minded the woman was.  It would be pointless to bring anything up and she'd just get herself into more trouble once her parents were gone.

            All too soon the half hour was up and she had to let go of Toby.  She hugged her father again and watched from the window as the three of them got smaller and smaller.

            Walking through the parking lot, holding his father's hand, something compelled Toby to turn around and gaze at the building.  There he saw a small figure leaning against the windowsill, one hand pressed flat against the glass.

***Well there it is everyone. This chapter saw a lot of time go by. I sort of decided that I wasn't going to let Sarah off the hook too easily, I really wanted to commit to this mess she's in, work through it and all. I hope everyone enjoyed it, and don't worry, the storm that is building will soon break. Uh, yeah… that means that stuff will happen soon. (_shrug_) Oh yeah, and thank you to Morgana (one of my very nice reviewers) – thanks for your suggestion on the happy therapy. I tried to incorporate that into the story. Let's see, oh and the idea for Sarah's second drawing, I actually took from something I drew once in art class. Don't know why I included that, I just did, that's all.***


	14. Desperate Times, Desperate Measures

**Ch. 14 – **Desperate Times, Desperate Measures

            It was almost time to leave and Jareth was busy gathering the few documents he needed.  His request to the counsel of the Northern Kingdom had been granted.  There was to be a meeting with representatives from all of the realms of the Underground in attendance.  Everything was in order and now he was waiting for the latest status report on the Labyrinth and its surrounding areas.  The reports had been growing steadily worse and worse as of late.  Finally the goblin came back with his clipboard.

            "Yer Majesty," he said bowing briefly.

            "Yes, Scruff?"

            "Uh… it's Scurff your Majesty."

            "Proceed," Jareth countered sharply.

            Scurff flipped through some pages.  "Well, let's see, where to begin… Two more stone walls have fallen, and now the little goblins that live under the walkways are beginning to riot.  Nothing too big, basically a lot of name-calling and fist shaking.  Oh, and don't worry about Alph, Ralph, Tim and Jim – their corner of the maze hasn't fallen yet. …The strange weed is still spreading in the hedge maze.  Nearly all of those walls are wilting and there is an awful smell in that area.  Both mazes are still moving around too.  I found six goblins and one Fiery who'd gotten lost there.  Uh, the Fiery was trying to dismember the goblins when I arrived. … I hear from the forest inhabitants that the bog seems to be getting larger and deeper, and the junk people told me that yesterday a ground shake buried two of their friends under a mountain of garbage.  It took five hours to pull them out, but reportedly the victims found some things they had been looking for, for quite some time, so there's no complaint there."

            Jareth sighed.  He accepted the papers from the goblin, which bowed once more and left, adding them to his other papers.  He gathered everything and transported himself to the Great Castle of the Northern Kingdom.

            Jareth found himself in a great courtyard, before a very tall building made of stone, glass and onyx.  The Great Castle had stood in this very place for millennia and had housed every High King to ascend the throne.  Every member of every ruling family that ever existed had graced this very land at one point or another and the fates of many realms had been decided here.  There was a constant activity that day as the Fae nobility moved every which way.  He exchanged the customary greetings as he made his way to the heavily guarded doorways.  The decadently clothed women all stopped to greet him flirtatiously and inquire after his health.  Sure, he was a King whose subjects were lowly goblins who could not count past four, but he was a King no less.  That always made one worth showering attention on.  Jareth bore this with all of the grace and politeness of one who can read between the lines but likes the attention anyway.  Overhead, birds of various sizes and colors flew to and fro, more of them Fae than actual birds.  Jareth recognized a few. 

            When he got to the great arched doorway, the guards quickly recognized him and bowed, moving their scepters aside to let him pass.  It was slightly darkened inside and torches lined each wall.  It was quieter too, voices respectfully more subdued than they had been outside.  Banners from each realm were spaced in between the torches, and here and there was a coat of arms, a jeweled rapier engraved with the names of one of the great families, some implement of magic, or any other artifact that figured somewhere in the Underground's long history.  Jareth recognized the finned helmet, made of kelp and seaweed that had belonged to the Prince of the Aquaspherians, who'd sacrificed himself for the survival of his people so long ago.  He saw the shards of the first mirror that had served as a portal between the worlds, the first massive stone that had answered the call of the Yeti, and also his own banner of shimmering blue and black. Emblazoned across its front was a depiction of his maze with the profile of a goblin in each corner.  Dead center, there was stamped the royal seal of his own family.  The shape of it matched the pendant he wore, and it had been the seal of his family for as long as the Underground had existed.  On a pedestal underneath was a crystal encased in a glass box.

            When he was shown into the room at the end of the hall, most, but not all of the seats had already been filled.  The King and Queen of the Fairy people were there, each standing at about six inches tall.  (One should never underestimate them though, for they were said to posses the most potent magic of all.)  The chief of the Yeti was there trying to fit his massive frame into the comparatively small seat.  The Prince of the Aquaspherians was there along with his second in command.  (The sea folk, as they were commonly referred to, were Fae too, but were of a different breed in that they changed into various fish-like beings rather than birds.)  They didn't like being away from the sea for too long and so were provided with basins of water and cloths with which they could keep their slightly spongy skin from drying out.  The High King, to whom Jareth was distantly related, waited patiently at the head of the table.  He motioned for Jareth to take the seat opposite him.  The only others they were waiting for were the Dwarfolk and the Elfinkind who came in representation of the dragons with whom they bonded. When all had finally assembled, the meeting began. 

            "As you know," High King X'Ahressan began, "all of the realms of the Underground are closely related to one another.  What affects one realm will invariably affect us all.  Such has been the case for all time.  So your concern is well justified.  Especially when the realm that is suffering is the very one that has the most contact with the world above, little though that may be."

            The Fairy King spoke up in a voice that sounded like moving water, "There's also the fact that most of our kinds have kin that live in the Labyrinth who are in danger; especially the fairies.  They have a hard enough time dodging your dwarf gardeners without the added danger of the Labyrinth's wild magic." 

            His stance was slightly accusing but before Jareth could respond, the dwarf representative sputtered, "Now don' start accusin' the dwarves of any mischief.  They're simply carryin' out their orders.  If yer fairies didn't bite so much…"

            "Now look here," the Fairy Queen began.

            Before any serious chaos could break forth the High King stood up.  "Everyone, please.  I understand that you're all very concerned.  We're all under a lot of pressure right now, but let us not resort to the Aboveworld's response to times such as this and let our emotions rule and start finding blame with one another.  Let us please try to be amicable with each other; we'll accomplish more this way."

            The ensuing silence was thick with tension.

            "King Jareth, would you please give us the latest update on the status of the Labyrinth?"

            Jareth stood and spread his papers out in the center of the table.  He gave them a brief overview, not unlike the report his goblin servant had given him that morning.

            "…and so far it doesn't look like anyone has been seriously injured.  A few have been lost for a while but they were always found eventually."

            One of the elves politely cleared his throat, and then said, "What, if I may ask, do you propose to do about the magic?  The dragons fear to leave their caves.  They fear to come into contact with uncontrolled magic.  They do want you to know, however, that if there was a solution to this, a way to calm things, they are willing to help in any way they can."

            (Dragon magic, while not as potent as Fairy magic, was of the most ancient kind.  The danger was that if they were to fly over the Labyrinth and fly through any cloud or wall of this latent power their own magic might be warped and drawn forth from them against their will.  While slightly wild and shy of beings other than their elf companions, dragons were never known to hurt others.  If they were to become warped by the Labyrinth though, they could become a danger to everyone, themselves included.  So they wisely stayed hidden away.  If the magic of the Labyrinth could somehow be calmed, then it would be safe once again to come out, where they could be of some assistance.  Their powers had an almost healing effect and if it were safe to do so, to merely traverse the skies would likely bring that corner of the Underground back to all of its glory and beauty.)

            "Thank you Suldryn.  And thank Genesiu and the rest of the dragons for me.  I will keep that in mind.  I _do_ have one possible solution.  I have been trying to contact the Lady Sarah."

            Everyone was stunned.

            "Sarah… of the Aboveworld?  The mortal who beat your Labyrinth?" King X'Ahressan asked incredulously.

            Jareth took a deep breath and then, with the fatalistic air of preparing for the firing squad said, "Yes, the very same.  I have reason to believe that this all started because of her. … I have no excuse – the girl distracted me in a way that no one has before.  Because of my great folly, this essence of life my powers have lent to the Labyrinth ripped the control I had away from me.  For that reason, things are the way they are."

            He waited for their anger but was surprised to see something else in their eyes.  Some gave him a knowing look as if they'd figured something like this would have happened sooner or later.  Some eyes lit up with renewed hope.  Some just looked on him with a mixture of pity and doubt.

            "Do you really think she can do anything?" King X'Ahressan asked.  Without waiting for an answer he went on.  "Will she cooperate?"

            "That's the problem," Jareth admitted.  "I was worried about that too.  I expect her to be very reluctant about coming back.  I am going to have to work really hard to show her that I mean her no harm, but I wouldn't be trying if I didn't think there was a chance she would listen."

            "So what's the problem then," asked one of the dwarves, whose name was Gyartoln.

            "The problem is that I can't find her."

            "You don' know where she lives?"

            "No, I know that much.  I was watching her and waiting for the right moment to go to her.  Then she just disappeared."  Jareth's shoulders slumped and months of stress were suddenly all too apparent on his face.  "Something's wrong at home.  Something has happened and now she's somewhere else.  I catch glimpses of her and she's _not_ happy.  It's like they've put her somewhere and she can't get out, but I can never see her for long enough to get any _real_ information. And her parents, they won't talk about it."

            King X'Ahressan looked thoughtful.  "What do you propose to do about this?"

            "I'm going to _have_ to get more information, even if it means taking a greater risk.  At this point I'm willing to try anything."

            "Be careful," the High King cautioned.  "If people see you who knows what they might do.  The Aboveground folk, they're different from us.  For all of their superstitions they don't really _believe_ much anymore.  They're always quick to settle on the explanation that's easiest for them to take.  It they catch you moving about their house they might take you for a common intruder."  The others looked up at this.  "I assume that is where you plan on finding this information."

            Jareth grinned.  "Your Majesty, you know me too well."

            Suldryn looked at him hard.  "Are you sure you want to take that risk?  We've never really interfered with the lives of humans and even you only take their children when called upon to do so."

            Tro`ge, the other dwarf, agreed.  "Those mortals, you know, all it takes to bring about their anger and hatred is to give 'em something to fear."  The others nodded.

            Jareth shook his head.  "I don't think we give them enough credit sometimes.  Who knows, maybe they stopped believing because we haven't interfered _enough_."  He looked around and, not getting the reaction he'd hoped for, said, "Look, I'll be careful okay?  I'll leave gifts behind or something so they'll call us "good spirits" again, like they used to."

            The room was quiet and uncomfortable.  'Wow,' he thought to himself wryly, 'tough crowd.'

---

            A few nights later, Jareth flew straight to Sarah's house.  He studied every inch of the house, looking for a place where he could get in.  He somehow didn't think that bursting through the balcony doors of the master bedroom would work so well as it did last time.  With Sarah's parents sleeping right there, they might not be so pleased at being woken up by a complete stranger, especially if said stranger had just shape-changed from an owl. 

            Fortunately after about ten minutes of searching and waiting he heard the sound of a window opening and faint voices spilling out into the warm spring air. He waited near the window for what seemed like an eternity until at last, all of the lights went out and his hypersensitive hearing picked out the even breathing that meant they were all asleep.  Without a sound he flew over to the now-open window.  The room was small and cluttered.  He slowly hopped inside, onto a small dresser.  To the right was a bed, upon which a small boy slept.

            'It's the child,' he thought to himself as he took his regular form.  He stood before Toby and looked down in wonderment.  'He's grown some, but that's definitely him.  Heh, he's a lot quieter than he was last time.  And to think, you might have become one of my goblins had you stayed a whiny crying child.  And had your sister not been so fearless in her love for you.'  He realized he was glad for the boy that he'd been able to remain as he was.  He'd never thought about that – possible alternate futures for the wretched little beings that ended up with him. 

            So lost was he, in his reveries, that when he looked again at Toby, he was surprised to find the child looking back up at him.  For a tense few seconds they stared at one another.  The boy's face held neither fear nor happiness.  Jareth smiled at him cautiously and held one finger to his lips.  Toby broke out in a wicked grin and turned over, going back to sleep.  His bleary eyes told Jareth that he'd probably remember this only as a dream, but something in his smile spoke of recognition.  Silently Jareth slipped out into the hallway. 


	15. Confessions & Revelations

**A.N. – **Well I did it again.  I am using a song in my chapter and yes it is by Tori Amos again.  (_grins sheepishly_)  First of all, let me here disclaim the rights to, or creativity that went into this song.  Second of all, and this is only a suggestion – if you haven't heard the song _Hey Jupiter_ before it would really help set the feeling for the scene to listen to it beforehand or even during (if that's even possible).  I do know that there is a slightly shortened version of the song along w/ a music video that can be found on Launch: Music Videos, which anyone who uses yahoo e-mail can get to.  It is an awesome video.  Anyway, I hope you enjoy…

**Ch. 15 – **Confessions & Revelations

            Sarah opened the door to the music room.  The room was darkened, slightly cold even.  She slipped inside, grateful for the time alone she might find here. What an awful day it had been…

            She had gotten up early that morning in order to make it to the bathrooms before they got too crowded.  She actually felt pretty clear headed this morning, as a result of a few good days.

            She padded down the hall in her socks, carrying a few personal items and a towel.  When she got to the shower room she heard the sound of running water, but didn't pay much attention.  She stood by the few tubs at the front of the room, trying to decide whether she wanted to take a nice, leisurely soak, a luxury afforded to the few willing to get up early enough, or a quick hot shower.  Both possibilities were equally inviting.  Suddenly she laughed aloud.

            "Yeah, as if a mental institution were a place someone would go to in order to relax!"

            She walked to the back of the room, slightly embarrassed that the other person hadn't laughed at her joke.  As she pulled back the curtain hanging before the shower she had chosen, something to the side caught her eye.  It was a big, dark shape.  She glanced over; trying to do so discreetly, for the shape was located in the tub nearest the shower she was going to use.  The water was on, though not hard, and the curtain was pulled almost all the way around, obscuring nearly everything from view.  She shrugged her shoulders and was about to climb into her own shower when water hit the floor behind her with an audible splash.  She spun around with a yelp, seeing that the bathtub was overflowing.  Why weren't they…?

            "Are you okay?  Do you need help?"  She walked over slowly, hands shaking.  There was no answer.  She didn't want to open the curtain, something told her she knew exactly what was behind it.  She wouldn't have, if not for the water steadily streaming over the sides of the tub, which had by now soaked her feet and was spreading into an ever-widening circle.

            'Just reach in, turn off the water… just reach in, turn off the water… just--,' 

            Then she did it.  She opened her eyes without meaning to.  The girl floated there, her bloated face just beneath the surface of the water.  Her arms were folded peacefully around her body, but her legs draped up over the far rim, like boiled potatoes sticking up out of the water.  The girl, clad only in her underclothes, seemed to stare at Sarah through the water, and though she wanted so badly to look away, she was trapped like a rabbit caught in the headlights.  Her breath was coming in gasps and though the water wasn't much more than a medium sized stream, it roared in her ears, blocking everything else out.  Swallowing hard, Sarah reached over and turned it off, calming slightly at the quiet this produced. 

            Everything went very still.

            "Somebody help," she whispered, fearing the sound of her own voice.  She felt absolutely paralyzed and she couldn't tear her eyes away from the sight before her.  The girl's name was Madeline, Maddy – everyone had called her.  She was actually very outgoing and bubbly, a little too much so it seemed at times. Sarah just kept thinking the same thought over and over.

            'This is it.  This is how it ends.  This is the rest of our lives – this place.'

            Getting out of this place was obviously the goal of every patient in here, _that_ went without saying.  Sarah saw now, truly believed it for the first time, that sometimes even that goal was just too hard to reach.

            'This is it this is it this is it, that's it – right there, that's it…'

            For Maddy, these walls were her last home, her very last sight.  This place had become her grave.  Maddy was never _going_ home.

            They found Sarah that way nearly thirty minutes later, still standing in the same position and mumbling under her breath.  The first few girls that came in took one look and ran out screaming for the nurses.  They had to physically move her away to snap her out of her lethargy and then, moving over to a bench, she stumbled and had to be helped into a seat.  They told her later that she was absolutely colorless.  She was also told, by snatches of overheard conversation, that Maddy had gotten a hold of a large amount of sleeping medication and taken it all at once before getting it into the bath.  Whether she'd stolen it or just saved up her own, no one knew for sure.

            The ward was a zoo that day.  Aside from the police and the people from the city morgue who came to officially declare her death and take the body away, a good ninety percent of the other girls were very upset and having panic attacks.  One girl even went into a seizure.  Every therapist who had a patient on the ward came and they all had an emergency meeting to discuss damage control.  For the rest of the day they all sat in small groups to talk about their feelings and fears over what had happened.  The therapists and doctors were also going to the girls one by one, talking to them.  Laurel took Sarah aside to talk around lunchtime, and Sarah nodded in a cooperative manner, but Laurel's words just buzzed like bees in wax paper.

            When they called the girls for yet another group meeting late in the afternoon, Sarah feigned sleep and so was not made to go.  She waited for a few minutes and then cautiously opened her door.  She could hear them all talking as she walked over to the nurse's station.  The door was locked but the window where they passed out paperwork to the doctors and pills to the girls was all she needed access to.  She strained, reaching her hand over to the desk where the phone lay.  If she could just get her dad on the phone, she could convince him to bring her home.  She could almost… just… reach the… handle.  It was just agonizingly close enough for the very tip of her finger to brush the cool plastic.  She heaved and pushed one foot against the wall to give herself a little leverage. Those few inches were all she needed, and even though the sill of the window dug into her ribs painfully, she was able to grab the receiver and pull it over to herself.  She knocked the box of paperclips over on the way and looked around to make sure no one had noticed her.  Using the cord to pull the phone closer, she again strained long enough to dial her number.

_Ring…… ring……ring……_

            "Please pick up, please," she muttered, keeping her head down.

_Ring……ring……_

            "Daddy," she whispered, "please be there."

Nothing.

            "Come on," she said to the on-going ringing, "pick up the god-damned phone."

… … … … 

            Slowly she put the receiver down next to the phone on the desk.  She didn't care if they knew.  This was probably her only chance and no one was at home.  She felt like crying.

---

            The rest of the day and evening was, disruptive, to say the least.  No one would leave her alone.  If it wasn't the nurses and doctors asking how she was coping, it was one of the other girls pestering her for details as to what had happened.

            Finally, everyone again became distracted by yet another girl bursting into tears, and she slipped away into the music room.  She knew she wasn't supposed to be in there alone, but she really just wanted to find a way of expressing her own feelings on the days events without the prying eyes and ears of those she shared her living space with. 

            Silently she drifted over to the piano.  It was the only thing she trusted with her secrets.  It looked beautiful in the soft nighttime light coming in from the moon outside.  She sat on the bench and thought about how trapped she felt, about how her life seemed to be spinning out of control.  She thought of her own pride and how much her life had changed as a result.  She thought of the Goblin King and wondered why she'd reacted to him the way she had.  Of how many things she still couldn't say, wouldn't admit.  Why couldn't she have just been honest with herself from the very beginning?  Was there a way to be honest now?

            She rested her fingertips on the keys, then lightly pushed them down.  The resulting note was pleasant, if quiet.  She did it several more times.  Then she sang:

_            No one's picking up the phone_

_            guess it's me…and me_

_            and this little masochist_

_            she's ready to confess_

_            all the things that I never thought_

_            that she could feel, and …_

_            Hey Jupiter…                                                        _*I almost said it, I almost said his name*

_            nothing's been the same _

_            So are you gay?                                                     _* happy? * 

_            Are you blue?_                                                          * sad? * 

_            Thought we both could use a friend to run to_

_            And I thought I wouldn't have to be_

_            with you, something new                                       _* it's just that something tells me that he might be the only person with whom

                                                                                              I can truly be myself – like he knows me in a way that no one else does *

_            sometimes I breathe you in_

_            and I know, you know_

_            and sometimes you take a swim_

_            found your writing on my wall                              _*your unmistakable imprint on my life *

_            well if my heart's soaking wet_

_            boy, your boots can leave a mess_

_            Hey Jupiter_

_            nothing's been the same_

_            So are you gay?_

_            Are you blue?_

_            Thought we both could use a friend to run to_

_            And I thought you wouldn't have to keep,_

_            With me… hiding                                                  _* if it is true and you had to be what I expected of you, this time you 

                                                                                             wouldn't have to do that.  It could be different this time… * 

_            Thought I knew myself so well_

_            all the dolls I had_

_            took my leather off the shelf_

_            your apocalypse was fab                                       _* the book – that started everything *

_            for a girl who couldn't choose _

_            between the shower or the bath                            _* if only I hadn't gone in there this morning *

_            and I thought I wouldn't have to be_

_            with you… a magazine_

_            No one's picking up the phone_

_            guess it's clear he's gone_

_            and this little masochist is lifting up her dress_

_            Guess I thought I could never feel _

_            the things I feel and_

_            Hey Jupiter _

_            nothing's been the same_

_            So are you gay?_

_            Are you blue?_

_            Thought we both could use a friend to run to _

_            Hey Jupiter _

_            nothing's been the same_

_            So are you saying_

_            now we're through?_

_            Thought we both could use a friend to run to…_

_            Hey Jupiter…_

Quiet now, hair hanging in her face, she listened to the last notes fade away.

---

            Around the same time, at Sarah's house, Jareth was busily shuffling through papers and things.  He had gone to her room first, after leaving Toby asleep in his own room, but hadn't found anything to indicate where she'd gone.  Now he was downstairs looking through the big oak desk that stood in the dining room. There was a book full of names and addresses, as well as a stack of papers there.  He was busy scanning these, looking for Sarah's name when her voice popped into his head.  She was singing again.  He quickly conjured a crystal and looked into it.  It was risky, in fact, this whole mission was risky and he knew the others hadn't particularly wanted him to take chances like these, but something about Sarah made him reckless.

            He found a quiet dark corner where he could see anyone coming down the stairs long before they could see him and got ready to disappear in case anyone did come down.  What she was saying caused him to forget everything else momentarily.  It almost seemed like she … what was she ready to confess?  Was she… could she be singing of him?!

To be continued… 

~*Lyrics from **Hey Jupiter**, by Tori Amos*~

** Okay, this chapter really grew to be huge, so I decided to chop it in half.  But don't worry I'll probably go ahead and upload the rest within a day or two since I already have it written down.  I am also going to be working on another story as a side project – it will still be Labyrinth, but with a lighter, more comedic theme, as well as some new characters you might recognize.  Okay, that is all I am going to tell about that.  It shouldn't disrupt my telling of this story or anything, I'll upload as often as I have been so far.  Okay, bye now. ** 


	16. Confessions & Revelations II

**Ch. 16—**Confessions & Revelations II

Last time… 

_            Could_ she be singing of him?  The thought patterns that colored her song all pointed to the idea that she could be and _was_ singing about him.

            'Nothing's been the same for me either,' he thought as he listened to the words she sang.  

            The way that her words left their accompanying feelings in his mind was almost strong enough to create actual pictures now.  Perhaps it was because this song was directed at him, it was so open and honest.  He saw/felt the way he'd made a mark on both Sarah's life and Sarah herself.  He saw the way she imagined the possibility of them being friends and how he could finally be himself, rather than the villain she'd always expected of him before.

            He saw her again, how she'd seen herself before her perceptions had been so shaken.  The little world she'd created in her bedroom, the dolls, figurines, and books that she'd relied on for stability.  Books…his book, she felt it so important, such a keeper of a world of secrets.

            He briefly saw what she'd seen that morning and his heart ached that she'd been put through such trauma.  The weirdness of the situation struck him again. That morning he'd been lounging in his throne room, trying to think through his plan when she suddenly burst into his mind with a strange mixture of horror and absolute calm.  So long did she hold that wild-eyed stare that he actually shook the crystal he was holding, momentarily forgetting that he could have no effect on the real Sarah.  Then she just blanked out; shut everything off.  Now, when she was singing and thinking of what happened, he was able to see what she saw, as if he were looking through her eyes.  There was a girl, she'd killed herself and Sarah had been the first to find her.  _Where was she?!  What kind of place was this, where death was a sought for release?_  These latest revelations lent desperation to his search.

            But she was still singing and he was almost helpless to keep listening.

            'What feelings?' he asked again, frustrated that he couldn't ask her, yet filled with a new hope because she was actually saying her life was affected by him, that she still thought of him.  She spoke of friendship… she… needed him?  He watched the look on her face as she sang the last few notes.  The door behind her opened and someone walked in, breaking her reverie although the desperation still colored her features…

**                                                                                                                        * * ***

            Even though her song was done, Sarah held onto the last lingering note with her eyes shut.  The door opened behind her with a bang, making her jump.

            "I thought I heard someone.  You're not supposed to be in here with no supervision, you know," said a nurse dressed in dark green, her hair in a tight bun at the base of her head.

            Sarah didn't turn around.  She smiled to herself, her eyes still shut, and kept plinking away at the piano keys.  She cocked her head to one side and hummed.  "Plinkety-plink," she said.

            "Sarah!  Did you hear me?  You can't be in here," the nurse said, a little closer now, her arms folded crossly.

            "Mmm-hmm, can't be in here," she half muttered/sang.  "Can't be in there, where oh where can I be?"

            "Sarah," the nurse said warningly.

            "Don't you like my song?  It's therapeutic you know.  Thought that was Fairhaven's mission or something.  To stuff us full of therapy 'til our heads pop," she laughed, striking a deep dramatic sounding chord on the piano to emphasize her point.  The nurse apparently didn't get the joke because she walked out of the room shaking her head.

            "Wait, I was… _great! _ I was just kidding!" she called as she jumped up to run after her.

**                                                                                                                        * * ***

            Jareth was frozen, looking at the newly empty crystal in his hands.  She'd said a name – a name he'd never heard before.  _Fairhaven_.**** He jumped up and flipped through the address book he'd tossed aside after having gone through it twice with no results.

            There – he found it.  Fairhaven, but there was nothing else but a phone number, and a name, Laurel somebody, along with another number.  There was a large yellow book next to him on the floor with the words "Find Any Number Fast!" on the front cover.  He opened it and found that it was a much larger version of the address book.  It was alphabetized.  He turned to the 'F' section but became more and more confused.  None of what was there looked right.  There was an index in the back so he decided to try there.

            "F, A, … facial …fad…fah…there – 

Fairhaven, See under Hospital, Mental Health 

_619_

            Jareth frowned as he flipped to the page number given.  There were all sorts of health care facilities listed for various ailments.  There it was, listed under mental health and psychiatry.  Was that where Sarah was?  It couldn't be, she wasn't crazy!

            There was an address underneath the listing and he repeated it several times in his head in order to remember it.  Flipping through the large book, he located what looked like a grid map of the city.  He ran his fingers over the various street names, searching for the street the institution was on.  Finding it, he tried locating where Sarah's house was.  He spent a few minutes memorizing the route before putting everything back where he'd found it and stepping outside.

            He quickly changed into his owl form.  He flew high over the city in order to locate the area sooner.  Even before Sarah had run his Labyrinth, he'd never made a habit of coming Aboveground very _often_.  Still, he was probably up there more than anybody else from his world.  Most of the time it was because he'd been called upon to take away a child and the wisher needed to be dealt with, but sometimes he came even when not called.  Before Sarah there had not always been much to do.  Granted there often was, but some days, when all business of his kingdom had been taken care of, the days and nights seemed to stretch on for an eternity.  _Goblins didn't always exactly make for very good company.  _During those times he'd often spend a day or so up there, walking amongst the mortal kind, posing as one of them.  It was interesting to see the way they interacted, how people changed through the years and decades, and even more interesting to see how much they didn't.

            Jareth wasn't getting anywhere trying to find the road that led to the outskirts of the town so he found a dark alley to change back to his Fae form.  He was somewhere downtown, about halfway there.  He'd flown over a very familiar looking park before realizing it was the one he used to come to and watch Sarah as she acted out her favorite scenes from her most treasured books.  He walked out onto a main street where the people moved in huddled groups sipping steaming drinks under the many neon lights.  He drew a few stares as he walked down the street.  He'd opted to wear something that more closely resembled the clothes mortals so often wore, but he still looked slightly outlandish.  Fortunately, in these modern cities and towns, people dressed so eclectically anyway that almost anything went.  He could see their minds working when they looked at him, the opinions and excuses they came up with to explain why he looked as he did.  They usually only looked once.

            He walked for a few minutes and then approached a couple sitting on a bench and asked them to point him in the direction of the correct street.  While the man was showing him the way to go, he noticed the woman studying him, her head tilted slightly.  When she realized that he'd noticed her staring she blushed and smiled at him seductively.  He shook his head as he walked away.  These humans sure were odd.

            Once he'd found the first street he remembered the route and having found a place to change back to his bird form, he flew the rest of the way.  He knew he was on the right path when the lights and traffic started becoming more and more spaced out.  The facility was located more or less outside of the actual city limits, down a long lonely road.  Eventually an old brick building came into view.  Jareth flew over to a nearby tree from where he could study it.  There was an engraved plaque above the doors of the main entrance.  It read _FAIRHAVEN INSTITUTE OF MENTAL HEALTH_.  That was it.  He looked up at the oppressive building.  Sarah was in that place somewhere.  He flew off the branch and over to the roof, from there gliding down to the bushes below.  On the way down he looked in the windows and used his hearing to locate where people were inside.  He could transport himself inside easily enough but first he needed to make sure he would be able to do so without being seen.  He saw a room that was dark and empty and transported himself there, shape-changing as he did so.  He stood for a moment letting his eyes adjust to the dark and then made his way over to the door. 

            There was no sound and he quietly looked out into the larger room.  It was only dimly lit and behind a counter was some kind of large plastic cube sitting on a desk.  He'd seen these before in the houses he'd visited.  The front had some kind of glass window or something and there was some way of making it light up and show what was inside.  He knew that mortals spent hours in from of these things, staring into them and manipulating the words and pictures that were contained within.  They seemed to hold information, and Jareth wondered if this one could help him to locate Sarah.  He was standing there staring at it when suddenly a lady in a uniform came around the corner, flipping on a light.

                                                                                                                       *** * ***

            Wendy blinked and blamed the brief shadow she'd seen before turning on the light on working too many hours.  She went over to the computer and nudged the mouse, bringing the menu onto the screen.  _There it was again, that feeling of being watched. _ Her senses must have been playing tricks on her because it sure felt like there was someone standing right behind her looking over her shoulder, but every time she glanced around, there was nothing there.  She was beginning to feel quite foolish.  Shaking her head, she clicked on the icon next to _'schedules'_ and brought up a page on which she typed in her name and id number.  She printed out the subsequent page that showed all of her scheduled sessions for the next day.  Sighing and muttering to herself about how she needed a vacation, she brought the screen back to the home page and walked away.

                                                                                                                       *** * ***

            Once the room was absolutely silent, Jareth reappeared and bent down in front of the now vacated computer.  This was exactly what he needed.  There was a little icon, which read _Patient Roster_.  He clicked it and a prompt came up asking for an identification number.  He typed in the number he'd spied over the nurse's shoulder.  That brought up a list of names.  Next to each name was the word WING and a letter, either A, B, or C.  There was also an _FL._ and a number, then a _RM._ and another number.  The names were all listed alphabetically by last name.  He noticed a flashing line in one corner and began typing Sarah's name in. This caused the list to scroll down quickly until it came to the _W's_.  It finally stopped with Sarah's name highlighted.

_                                                                                     WILLIAMS, SARAH: WING- B, FL- 3, RM- 247_

_                                                                                                                *closed ward*_

            Jareth looked at the words, feeling a weight lifted off his shoulders.  There she was; after all this time, these long months, he'd found her.

            When he'd stood in front of the oppressive looking building, he'd seen no letter or number next to the door.  The building he was in, was the front and center of this massive layout, with what he supposed were the 'wings' stretching out and back on each side.  Now, he searched for any indication as to where he should go.  On the far wall, which was part of a large hallway, was a sign with an A, accompanied by an arrow pointing to the left, a B, its arrow pointing right, and a C, with a note under it, which Jareth didn't bother to read as he walked past.    

            He found a stairwell and made his way to the third floor.  He listened through the door and, not hearing anything, appeared on the other side.  The long hall was darkened although moonlight streaming in through the windows made the linoleum floors glow.  On light feet that barely touched the ground, he ran past the rooms quickly checking their numbers.  About halfway down there was a room with an open window.  Inside was an older lady doing paper work.  He quietly kept to the shadows and she never even knew he was there.  Finally he found room 247.  He paused briefly at the door and then tried the handle.  It was locked.  Sighing, he transported himself to the other side.

            The room was darkened; the only thing illuminated by the moon was a bed running along one wall.  There was a figure on the bed.  She was leaning against the wall, bare legs sticking out beneath a long t-shirt.  Her hair hung over her pale face but Jareth knew it was her.  He shut the door, which caused her to look up quickly, her movements jerky like a startled deer.  Unfocused eyes widened as they took in his form.

            "Sarah…" 


	17. My Favorite Song

Wow, if you're reading this I really have to say I admire your loyalty and patience. Sorry it's been so long since I've posted but it has been pretty crazy lately. My computer is set up at home but I don't have internet over there yet because the stupid company takes like a month to get out there just to hook it up! Anyway here's the next chapter – I hope it's everything you've been waiting for.

**Ch. 17 – **My Favorite Song

            "Sarah," Jareth said again softly.  She said nothing but continued to look at him, though her eyes held no recognition in them.  In fact they looked downright hollow.  His relief a finding her faded into consternation as he took in the sight before him.

            "Sarah, what's happened to you?"  Something was wrong.  Where was the fiery spirit, the fierce independence?  Where was the Sarah he knew? 

            She moved slightly and Jareth saw some kind of buckle around each wrist.  The red welts were apparent underneath the restraints and on her bare ankles the welts had turned into dark bruises.  These people had tied her up.  **Now he was** **angry.**  What kind of place would do something like this?!

            'But why would she take this?  Why not just leave?  Why…' he suddenly reached forward and placed a hand on each side of her head above each temple and closed his eyes in concentration.  A second later they sprang open and stared at her blank face.  Why, her mind and nerves were virtually drowning in some kind of chemical!  No wonder she didn't recognize him!

            She did move then, sluggishly bringing her arms up just high enough to slowly push his hands from her face.  Jareth didn't know what to do.  She was obviously in no condition to go anywhere but he refused to leave her alone here.  He cautiously sat next to her on the bed, which she allowed.  She stared at her lap but glanced at him occasionally between the messy strands of her hair.

            'Poor child,' he thought to himself, and then, 'but that's just it.  You're not a child any longer.  They had no right to put you in a place like this.'  He knew that it was likely the reason for the tension in the Williams home.  They knew she was here, wasting away.  They'd done it to her – bearing as much, if not more, of the responsibility in his eyes, as the people who ran this horrid place.  "They'll pay – all of them," he told her quietly.

            Sarah gave a little sigh and looked at him again.

            Footsteps sounded near the door.  Jareth had just enough time to disappear before a nurse, the one from behind the counter, came in and flipped on the light.  She frowned at Sarah, who just sat there staring at a spot next to her on the bed, wondering what nonsense she was dreaming up now.  She shook her head sadly.  The girl had been difficult that evening, going into rooms she had no business being in alone and then having an emotional outburst when she was reprimanded for it.  The only thing she had accomplished had been getting the sedative and restraints again, but Gertrude knew that she was just upset because of what she had seen that morning. 

            'And why shouldn't she be?' Gertrude thought to herself as she briefly glanced around Sarah's room.  She secretly felt that sometimes these people went too far.  Still, orders were orders.  Shaking her head she turned off the light and shut the door to continue on her rounds. 

            Jareth reappeared next to Sarah's bed and sat down again.  She looked up at him again, startled, and slowly reached one hand toward his arm, faltering at the last second.  It was obvious that she needed to reassure herself that he was really there.  _Maybe she was starting to come out of it a little._

            "It's okay, go ahead."  He gently took her hands and unbuckled both wrist cuffs and then placed one on his arm.  She relaxed visibly at this, her gaze steady on his face.  

            He sat with her through most of the evening, waiting out the medicine, not knowing when, or even if, the stuff would leave her fully.

            Sometime later that night, when the moonlight, slanting through the window, had traveled far enough to change its position in the sky, something changed. Jareth had been lost in thought when Sarah gave a soft yawn beside him.  He turned toward her, intending to ask her if she'd like to lie down.  He noticed her squinting her eyes and realized that he now sat in shadow.

            "Are you a nurse?" she asked in a small voice.

            Jareth frowned.  "No Sarah… it's me," he said, moving into the dim light from outside.

            Once she caught sight of him she sprang off the bed and was on the other side of the room with an alarming speed.  It seemed, for a second, that she might call for help but she quickly decided against that and stood facing the door quietly.

            "Sarah, it's okay," he said, rising from the rumpled bed.

            She whirled around.  "No!  You can't be here.  This can't be happening.  You're not really… no!" she said, shaking her head violently.

            "Sarah calm down.  You're going to wake everybody up."

            This seemed to get to her and she asked quietly, "Why is this happening to me?"

            "Why is what happening to you?"

            "This," she said, waving her arms in his direction.  "Why am I seeing you all of a sudden?  Is it just my subconscious getting back at me for what I said earlier?"

            "I don't under…"

            "The real you would never come here.  I don't think the real you likes me very much.  I beat his Labyrinth and he seemed angry about that.   So you can't be real.  You're like, a product of what my subconscious wishes he'd be or something."

            "And what is that?"

            "What?  Well, I …uh-uh.  No."

            Jareth stood up.  "Sarah, I don't know where you're getting this from but it _is_ me.  You see me, don't you?"

            She said nothing, but stared at him through slightly dazed eyes.

            "You touched me before, do it again.  I'm here, I'm real."  She backed up, hitting her back on the door.

            Jareth sighed and said, "You hear my voice.  What else can I…" he remembered what she'd sung earlier.

'Sometimes I breathe you in…' 

            It was true that the olfactory sense was a powerful tool for the recollection of memory. 

            "Breathe me in Sarah," he said, cautiously stepping closer, "and remember the Labyrinth and your place and time within it."

            Her eyes fell shut and, using a crystal, he summoned forth a gentle wind, which carried on it the scent of spices on a summer breeze, the soft sigh of ancient trees, and the odd, indefinable smell of magic which permeated everything in his world.  (_It was often said that this "smell", if it could even be called that, was more akin to a feeling or perception, like the kind one gets when they sense impending rain or lightning._)  He could see the way this affected her, the tense lines in her face softening slightly.

            "But it's a dream," she murmured, "like before."  Before he could question her on this, she continued, "And you missed one."

            "One what?"

            "See, hear, … touch, smell…," she mouthed the words again as she mentally repeated the list.  "Taste," she said and grabbed him by both sleeves, closing the already small distance between them.  Stretching up onto her toes, she lightly pressed her mouth to his, testing and tasting.  Jareth was so surprised by this latest turn of events that he couldn't react fast enough to think about whether or not he should stop her.  Or if he even wanted to.

            Her eyes were closed as she savored each answer, which had been sought and given.  Jareth couldn't help but watch her through slightly opened eyes as he allowed this strange exploration.  For that was what this was – there was nothing predatory about her actions.  This wasn't seduction.  Sarah was operating on a purely sensory level and he knew that perhaps that was all she could manage right now.  He knew the state she was in and that all normal rules were suspended.  At least that was what he knew he should be telling himself, but secretly he wondered.  And hoped.

            She stepped away and softly said, "I always wondered…"

            Jareth gave himself a mental shake after that last comment and then said, "Sarah you have to listen to me now.  This isn't a dream, you've found that out for yourself.  I'm here because I need your help and I've come to find that maybe you need mine too."  He decided something and added, "It's like you said – 'We could both use a friend'."

           "You heard that?"

            "Yes, your song – it was beautiful and it called to me.  I might not have found you otherwise."

            "My song?" she asked fingering her bruised wrists.

            "Yes and you were right about everything.  I'm so glad you said what you did because I've been looking for you for so long."

            "So, then you're really here?"

            "Yes."

            "This isn't a hallucination or something?"

             "Of course not.  Did they tell you that?"

           She stared at him for a long second.  She seemed shocked and speechless to be standing in front of him after so long, and especially after what had happened.  He knew how she felt.  After giving the whole event so much thought, it was strange to actually see her, in the flesh.  She seemed happy for a second at the fact that he'd been looking for her, but then something else occurred to her and her face fell.  "Oh, they're going to be so angry."

           "What?!"

           "If they find out you're here.  I've tried so hard to get them to believe me that the Labyrinth is a real place and that _you're_ real.  They said I was causing problems.  They either say that I was hallucinating the whole time I was in the Labyrinth or that I'm making it all up for attention.  I finally just started pretending to go along with whatever they said to get them off my back.  But after a while… I don't know, I started to wonder,"

            Jareth shook his head, knowing what she was about to say.

            "if maybe they were right and I _am _crazy or something.  After all, _they'd_ be the ones to know that sort of thing."

            He grabbed both of her arms, though not roughly.  "No, don't you let them get to you!  They're wrong about everything.  You're fine, there's _nothing_ wrong with you."  He shook his head.  "But it doesn't matter now. I can take you away from here.  We can leave them all behind tonight."

            For a moment she was almost swayed, but then she frowned.  "Wait, leave right now?"  He nodded.  "But if I leave they'll all just keep thinking I'm crazy and that I escaped or something.  Don't you see?  It'll just confirm for them everything that they've always believed about me."

            "But you don't want to stay _here_ do you?  Obviously they won't be reasoned with.  If we don't leave, how will you ever get out?  You shouldn't be here – you don't owe anything to those people.  Who cares what they all think?"

            She looked so small, standing there, half in shadow, hugging her arms around herself.  "What do you think they'll tell my dad?  What do you think my dad and Karen… will say to Toby if he ever asks about me?  I don't want him growing up thinking horrible things about me."

            Her eyes glistened with this thought but she quickly wiped the tears away before they could fall.  Jareth was at a loss.  Should he just take her against her will, trusting that she'd thank him later?  No, bad idea.  He wanted to _gain_ her trust, not drive it away even further.

            She gave a heaving sigh and said, "Believe me, I _want_ to leave.  Don't think that I don't.  I _hate_ it here…  It's just that, if I leave _now_, I mean… everything is just… I don't…" 

            Jareth saw that she was losing control.  This was too much for her right now and he didn't want to upset her further.  He swallowed his disappointment and went around behind her, placing warm hands on her trembling shoulders.

            "Shhh, listen, you don't have to go anywhere tonight.  We'll figure something out.  I can't just make you disappear anyway, we'd have to find some other way out."

            She turned to face him.  "Why not?"

            He looked at her fondly and said, "Because, I have no power over you, remember?"  Fresh tears sprang to her eyes at this, though he hadn't meant anything by it.  "I can't just come in and do whatever I want to.  You'd actually have to wish yourself away to me for me to be able to take you Underground again."  Something dawned on him.  "Wait, you said before that the problem lies in leaving _now_.  But what if I came to you in front of everyone?"

            Her head snapped up, a new look of hope in her eyes.  Encouraged by this he went on.  "If you could get the people who run this place and your…"

            "My therapist?" she interrupted.

            "Yes, your therapist, if you were to get them all into one room and then call on me, I can come there.  I can appear out of thin air or, if you like, I can fly in and shape change in front of them all."

            "Like you did when I first met you," she said, smiling faintly.

            "Yes, exactly."

            They were quiet for a few moments.  Finally at length she spoke.  "So, you want me to get them in one place and then I'll wish myself away to you.  Then you'll come flying in and change into _you_ in front of everybody?"  He nodded.  "It could work," she mused.  Then she grinned.  "Boy, I can't wait to see the looks on their faces.  And you know what?  They'll know I was right.  Finally.  Then I can leave?  With you?"

            "Yes, if you wish yourself away I can take you from that very room.  They'll all see it."

            "Wait, but do you really think they'll tell my parents the truth?  I can't imagine them saying: 'What do you know Mr. and Mrs. Williams, Sarah was right about that magical mystery guy all along and last night he poof! up and took her away.  She's off in Neverland living it up right now."

            He thought for a moment.  "I'll ask you what Neverland is later, but how about this?  You _will_ come with me back to the Labyrinth, won't you?"  She nodded.  "Okay then, you'll need some personal items from your room, right?"

            She nodded slowly, thinking.  "Wait, do you mean we'll go to my house?  That's a good idea, they'll see that I was right too.  Especially Karen."  She frowned.  "But why are you doing this for me?  I don't deserve it after what I did…" she didn't finish.

            "Don't think like that.  What you don't deserve is to be treated like you are here.  I hate thinking of you in a place like this.  Just come with me tomorrow and all wrongs will be righted.  Trust me."

            She nodded and stifled a yawn.  "I do, it's just that I'm still a little worried about what they'll say.  Even if they see you they're going to be mad at me.  You know, for causing problems."  She crossed her arms over her chest protectively.  "I don't _want_ to see them again, but if I don't _show _them I was right, they'll just say…" her voice got quietly pensive, "they'll _always_ say, 'You know Sarah – she went insane and jumped out of a window.'"

            Jareth took her hand.  "Just remember this," she looked down, "you're not alone."  She smiled and tightened her hand in response.

            "Not alone," she repeated quietly, stifling another yawn.

            "Right now, you should sleep."

            "Can't, too nervous," she admitted even as she went to her bed and crawled under the covers.  She remained sitting upright, her arms drawn around her legs.

            "Sarah, don't defy me," he said, though he was smiling as he said it.  She grinned sheepishly and laid back.  He sat at the foot of her bed.  "I'll just have to sing you to sleep then."

            She sat up.  "Okay, but first, can you put these back on?"  She was holding out the wristbands.  Jareth was about to protest this when he saw the fear in her eyes.  He acquiesced then, wordlessly, but purposely left them loose.  That being done, he began to sing.

            "There's such a sad love…"

            She turned on her side and smiled as she closed her eyes.  "That always _was_ my favorite song…"


	18. The Meeting

**A.N. – **Hey everyone!  I'm so sorry to be gone for so long, I can't believe it's already been two months.  Things have finally settled down, slightly.  Both my music classes are over for the summer, there's only 12 more days of school (work) and my computer is FINALLY set up.  Yes I am in the comfort of my own room now, not hogging the computer at my dad's.  And despite a few sticky situations ( example: my clutch snapped on me the other day while I was driving in the middle of five lanes of traffic, my bathtub starts filling up whenever anybody uses my sink or shower, and I swear, while writing this, the lights started dimming every few minutes or so!  So we're going to have to call a plumber **and** an electrician, and this for a house that we're not even sure we're going to be able to keep yet!)… Ok, I'm going to say it again – _despite_ these things, … well I'm here and I'm still writing so that's gotta count for something, right?  Anyway the next chapter should be coming out soon after this, I've got it about halfway done.  

**Ch. 18 – **The Meeting

            _Give me life_

_            Give me pain_

_            Give me my_

_            self again_

**_      ~Tori Amos_**

When Sarah awoke, everything was awash with the garish light of midmorning.  No one had bothered to check on her that morning, or if they had, they'd actually been quiet about it for once.  She briefly wondered on this and then she remembered the previous night.  She sat up fast, making herself dizzy in the process, and looked around her room.  He was gone, probably had been for sometime.  The room betrayed nothing of his visit and yet somehow it still seemed to retain his presence like an echo.  He'd been here, in this room, at a time when she'd very nearly given up hope.  It meant something that he'd come to her, it meant that she might be okay after all, and it meant that an end to this place just might be in sight.  

            She stood up, walked over to her window and gazed out.  She would have liked to be able to open it and let in what was left of the morning breeze.  It seemed an appropriate thing to do right now but her window, ever since it had been replaced, was so thickly plated it made everything outside look dingy brown.  It was also heavily locked and sealed.  Stifling a laugh, she turned away to change into fresh clothes.

            Sarah noticed as she went into the dining hall to get something to eat that everybody still walked on eggshells around her, as if expecting her to break down at any minute.  She did her best to ignore it, knowing they were only human, after all.  With this thought, she grinned into her hot, steamy bowl of… whatever it was.  Not everybody here last night had been human.  It made her feel strangely special that she'd been visited by one of the Fae, and not only that, she'd been invited back to the Underground.  Which meant that she had work to do today.  She needed to get her things in order, at least what things she wanted to bring with her when she left.  And more importantly she needed to find a way of getting her doctors all in one room.

            She quietly planned it all out, as best she could, as she went through her daily routine.  Since this was, what she hoped, her last day in this place, she felt a little more obliged to be friendlier to those around her.  It was easier now that she didn't feel the suffocating fear of being trapped here forever.  She actually surprised herself by even feeling slightly nostalgic.  True this place was little more than a very expensive prison, but it had been her "home" for nearly a year and a half.  So many emotions were going through her.  She sat by the windows, ignoring the TV blaring on the other side of the room and the occasional whispers that drifted by her.  She stared out, for once not minding the dismal view she was presented with.  Her mind wandered back through the previous year.  It made for a strange personal journey, being locked up and held against her will.  There was much to reflect on.  But there were many blank spaces – too many.  This bothered her.  These people had stolen _time_ from her.  They'd stolen her feelings and emotions with their "medicine", taking it upon themselves to spare her from things which they considered distasteful.  It would have been one thing if they had honestly been trying to help her, misguided though they were.  But it was all about control here.  There _was_ no 'Let's get to the root of the problem,' it was 'conform to our expectations, make things convenient for us, or we'll simply turn you off, we'll shut you down' and it had turned out to be quite a literal threat.  Did they _really_ have the right to do that to someone else?  To her?  Given the choice she'd have rather experienced every nuance of sadness and pain than to have had it taken from her, only to be given numbness instead.  She'd have rather had painful memories than no memories at all.

            'Oh well,' she thought to herself, looking up and smiling as Joely and another friend came into the room.

            "Hey Sarah, what's up?" Joely called out as she flung herself into a chair across from where Sarah sat.  The other girl, Rachel, a pale girl with dark circles under her eyes, was new and stood shyly to one side.  Joely nudged a chair in her direction with one foot and she sat.  "Wow, _you _look happy.  What's going on?" she asked in a teasing voice.

            "Who said I was happy?" Sarah teased back, laughing quietly.  "Anyway, nothing's going on.  I just feel weird, like I had a strange dream or something and now I'm just trying to make sense of it all."

            "Oh, what about?"

            "I'm not altogether sure.  But I may have found a way to prove to everyone that I'm not crazy like they think."

            "Hey, Sarah? We're _all _not 'crazy like they think'," Joely said, smiling dryly.

            **_"Shut up Aunt Marcy!!"_** a girl, clad in a thick flannel nightgown yelled at the three of them as she walked past clutching a worn teddy bear.

****"Well okay, except for her," Joely said with a quiet laugh.

            Sarah was quiet for a few moments, lost in her own thoughts.  At long last she said, "Listen, I'm glad you guys came over here because I wanted to thank you for being so nice to me.  You've been a real friend and even though I didn't always show it, I really appreciate that."  She stood slowly and turned to leave.  "I'll see you around."

            "Bye," they chorused meekly.  After Sarah had rounded the corner Joely turned to Rachel.  _"Weird!  _What do you think _that_ was about?"

            Rachel just shrugged.

---

            Laurel was just finishing up with another patient when Sarah walked up.  "Just remember what we talked about, okay Bonnie?  Let's try to _breathe _more and talk calmly rather than blowing up so easily next time, alright?"

            Bonnie's face was still slightly red.  "Fine!  Just don't _talk _to me like you're at the same _level _as me!  It's so … _condescending_!" she muttered as she stomped away.

            Laurel smiled wryly at Sarah.  "Are we still on for this afternoon?"

            "Yeah, but I was wondering if Mr. Morris can come?  And that one lady who does group therapy, Sharon"

            "Beth," Laurel cut in.  "Or is it Sharon?"  She shook her head, motioning for Sarah to continue.  

            "Um, well if she could come, oh and maybe Gertrude too?" she added hopefully.

            Laurel looked at Sarah, blinking. "Why?"

            "Well, it's just that… I have something to say and I want everyone involved to hear it."  She could see Laurel wasn't entirely convinced.  "I don't feel that I've really opened up to you guys enough and I really just want to talk about everything… that's in my head… and stuff," she finished lamely.

            Laurel considered this.  "Well, maybe that would be okay.  I'll see what I can do and I'll let you know, okay?"

            "Yeah sure, thanks." Sarah said as she walked away, trying not to let her excitement show.

---

            That afternoon Sarah went around straightening up her room, dividing her things into what she wanted to bring with her and what she wished to never see again.  Over the course of her stay she'd never accumulated much, just the clothes that had been packed up and sent with her, a few personal items and several books her father had finally gotten around to sending.  By now, Sarah's heart was beating hard and her stomach was in knots.  Laurel had told her at lunch that everyone had okayed her request for the group meeting.  She was supposed to go to Laurel's office within the hour.  Now that the moment of truth was almost upon her she felt the fears and doubts creeping in.  Could she face them?  Could she say what she needed to?  The thought of facing any one of them with what she was going to say was enough to make her uncomfortable and the thought of facing all of them at once… well maybe it was better not to think on that too much.  She couldn't afford to lose her nerve now.

            The time finally came and she put her things by the door.  Taking a deep breath she stepped out.  She took a moment to draw herself up and firm her resolve and then made her way down the long, oppressive hallway, counting her footsteps as they echoed and bounced off the walls.

            She knocked on the door to the office.  "Come in Sarah," came Laurel's voice through the wood and the other voices abruptly stopped their chatter.

            The round table that was usually pushed to one corner was in the center of the room, and cleared of its usual clutter of papers, recording devices, and mugs of colored pencils.  They were all there, seated around it when Sarah meekly entered and took the last empty seat.   She tried to ignore the feeling of shrinking as they all stared at her with their patronizing smirks.  Their fear games worked so well.

            "Well Sarah, you wanted us all to be here and here we are," David began.

            For one agonizing moment Sarah didn't know what to say.  She cleared her throat.  "Well, it's just that I feel that… I've never been completely open and honest with you."  At their nods of agreement, she went on.  "I never really let myself trust any of you too completely, never tried to listen to what you had to say.  Of course, I never thought I'd be here this long either," she added dryly.

            "So what _are _you trying to say Sarah?  That you trust us now?" Laurel asked.

            "I'm not sure yet… but I _am _willing to try.  I _do_ think that it would help if I told you everything."

            "What is everything?" Sharon-or-Beth cut in.

            Sarah paused and looked at her psychiatrist.  "Well, Laurel knows some of it.  It has something to do with this place I went to a couple of years ago," she said as she looked around the group.  "See, this is where a lot of people don't believe me, and it's partly the reason I'm in here now, but hey – I'm _already in_ the loony bin, so what's the worst that could happen?"  She laughed nervously.  No one else even cracked a smile, so she coughed and quickly went on.  "This place, it's not in this world.  I think that it sort of mirrors our world or something because you don't have to actually travel to get there, it just all of the sudden… appears.  Well the way _I _got there was the ruler of…"  She sighed, "Okay, let me back up.  See, the Underground, that's the name of this world, is divided up into kingdoms.  The only one I actually _saw_ was the Goblin Kingdom.  Now, the goblins – they are the mischief-makers.  When they manage to come Aboveground they are the ones responsible for all of the little mishaps no one can ever explain."  Not getting the reaction she'd hoped for, she began to count off on her fingers, "The… _holes _in your socks, the… the _milk_ that has unexpectedly soured over night, the mud on the new carpet and every child in the house swearing they didn't do it, and _especially _the spooked cat.  Anyway, the one who rules over them isn't a goblin at all.  In fact he's one of the Fae.  He looks human but he has special powers.  He controls the elements, he can appear and disappear at will and he can turn into an owl among other things.  Anyway, he rules over the whole kingdom, which besides his castle and the Goblin City, consists of a huge, and I mean HUGE maze, an enchanted forest, a big junk yard, and oh yes – we can't forget the Bog of Eternal Stench!" she finished with a grimace.

            "The _Bog of Eternal Stench_?!" Gertrude replied, wrinkling her nose.  "What, pray tell, is that?"

            "It's a huge swamp filled with every bad smell you could possibly imagine, and even some you couldn't.  It constantly gurgles and sprays crud into the air and there are bugs everywhere.  Here's the worst part – if you fall in, or even if one single drop lands on you, you stink forever!"

            "Okay," David said abruptly, looking around the room for support, "I think we've heard enough here."

            " – but Mr. Morris, you haven't even heard about the Fireys, or the enchanted peaches, although… I'm not even sure they're _all_ enchanted, it may have just been the one…"

            "Now look here Sarah!  If you think this kind of behavior will be tolerated,"

            "No, that's my point!  How will I get your thoughts and opinions if I don't tell you _everything_?  Wrong _or_ right?"

            "She's got a point there," Laurel said.

            David shook his head.  "I just don't see how this helps."

            Sarah thought for a minute.  "Well, you haven't asked me _how _I got there."

            It was silent in the room until, at great length Laurel spoke up.  "Okay I'll bite.  How Sarah?"

            "You have to call on the goblins for help.  Basically you just make a wish, but you have to use exactly the right words.  You say: 'I wish the goblins would take me away – right now!" she finished with a dramatic flourish.

            Everyone stared at her, dumbfounded.  "Do you _actually_ believe this stuff?" David asked incredulously.

            Sarah nodded, her face flushed.  She seemed distracted suddenly.

            "What I think…" Laurel began slowly.

            "No!  You know what she needs?" David interrupted, thoroughly irritated at being forced to listen to what he considered a waste of his time.  "She needs a goddamned lobotomy!  I'm _so _sick of these girls trying to run this place!"

            "I agree," Sharon-or-Beth said icily from her place across the table.

            "Now, come on people," Gertrude said beseechingly.

            "No, it's always the same," he went on in a mimicking voice, "They're all: 'I've got _problems_!' and then everybody else has to bend over backwards just to make them _feel _better!  Well, _not_ anymore!"  

            During this ranting Laurel said nothing, but sat and watched Sarah, who kept looking at the door, almost as if she were waiting for something to happen.

            Sarah scarcely even heard the arguing going on around her.  She was busy listening for Jareth.  Everything seemed to slow down.  The sounds seemed muffled.  'He'll come, he's got to,' she thought to herself.  'He wouldn't lie about getting me out of here – it's not his style.  So he _has_ to come.  I've said the words.'

            She smiled to herself, still ignoring the arguing between Gertrude and Mr. Morris, still unaware that Laurel was studying her.  'I can't believe I actually said them.  I wished myself away.' She remembered a line from a Smashing Pumpkins song.

            I wish myself to keep             I pray my soul to sleep 

_            I wish myself away_

_            I wish I was blank_

             'It has to work – he told me… and he was here.  He _was…_"

Unless…

            She shook her head against this new thought.  She tried to steel her resolve but it had been too long and nothing was happening.  

            It had been too long.  Sarah looked at the others in the room, who'd for a second stopped talking and were now looking at her.  Tears sprang to her eyes.

            'Oh _no_…'

            There was a noise down the hall, something like a shriek and breaking glass, but there was such a weird silence in the room as everyone stared at Sarah that no one seemed to be able to acknowledge it.

            The sound got closer.  David finally shook his head and looked toward the door as a frantic nurse burst in, wringing her hands.  "Sir!  There's some – bird or something flying around the building!  I don't know how he got in but,"

            Just then a barn owl flew in over her head.  The nurse shrieked and ducked, covering her head.  Chairs were shoved in every direction as everyone but Sarah jumped to their feet.  She just sat there, staring in wonderment.  The owl flew in circles near the ceiling, occasionally diving and feinting in a menacingly playful manner.  Everyone kept tripping over each other and the chairs as they tried to get out of the bird's flight path.

            "Don't just stand there!  Get a broom!" David shouted, but the nurse was already long gone.

_            "I don't think so."_

Everyone looked around the room, searching for the source of the voice that was unfamiliar to all save one.  

            The owl swooped down from the ceiling.  About halfway down he spread out his wings and to the amazement of all the form before them grew hazy and ripply and seemed to stretch and grow until a human looking man stood in front of them.  The air around him glistened and sparkled as his cape swirled and settled about him.  He stood, arms crossed, a triumphant smile on his face.  All was quiet.

            Then David spoke hesitantly, "Who are you?"

**~***Lyrics from **Little Earthquakes**, by Tori Amos; and **blank**, by the Smashing Pumpkins***~**

******* One more thing – I finally got a hold of the movie that inspired me to write this story.  I'd only once seen the second half of it on TV, but it's called Dancing in the Dark.  Now, it was only a TV movie, so you can't expect a Shakespearean picture of the year type of movie, but it's worth checking out.  I do have to admit, it's kinda stressful to watch – my stomach was in knots and my hands were in fists for most of it!  Especially since it was based on actual events.  Anyway, the only place I could find it was through Netflix, an online rental website.   

      __


	19. Going Home

**Ch. 19 – **Going Home

            "I'm the Goblin King," he answered in an amicable voice.  "But you may call me Jareth."

            The room was quiet again as they each studied the being in front of them, trying vainly to explain away the unexplainable.

            "Oh Lord, I need to sit down," Gertrude muttered, pulling her chair back to its place and sitting.  The others did the same.

            "How did you get in here?" David asked, still in disbelief.

            Jareth looked at the open door.  "Did you not see me fly in?"

            "No," David answered roughly.  "I mean the building.  We have heavy security here!"

            "Yes, I'm sure you do.  But unlike you…" His voice was suddenly heard behind them as they all stared dumbly at the blank spot where he'd stood just a second before.  "…I have no need of doors," he finished, smiling.

            "What are you?" Laurel asked.  "You're obviously not human."

            "Have you heard nothing Sarah has told you?  Obviously you have never listened, in all this time, because you still know nothing.  You may not want to hear it," he said, looking around the room, "but the Underground is real, and so are its many creatures and kingdoms, one of which is mine.  I am of the Fae race and ruler of the Goblin Kingdom.  My land is known as the Labyrinth and many humans have tried their hand at finding its center.  Tried and failed.  There has been only one to succeed in this and that extraordinary honor belongs to Sarah."  

            Jareth had been slowly circling the room and stopped behind Sarah's chair, placing his hands on her shoulders.  Everyone looked over at her.  She stared at her hands, cheeks flaming.  "You should have listened.  Everything she's ever told you is true.  You had _no_ right to do the things you did to her."

            No one knew what to say.  David looked helplessly at Laurel, who ignored him.  Finally Sharon-or-Beth spoke up.

            "So, then why are you here?"

            Jareth raised his eyebrows.  "Why, to take Sarah home?"

            Everyone looked alarmed.  "Well now," David spluttered.  "I don't think that is an option.  Sarah is a very sick girl.  She shouldn't be going anywhere."

            "I'm afraid you have no say in the matter," was Jareth's amused reply.  "I'm not even going to go into all of the reasons why Sarah does _not_ belong here.  I'm not even going to waste my time on punishing you all for your cruelty.  Although by rights, you _should_ be wandering my junkyards as some of my most mindless goblins.  And don't think it can't still happen.  I will be watching you from time to time and if I find that you're still mistreating these poor souls who find themselves here, have no doubt that's where you will be.  But as for now, I'm not even troubling myself with the likes of you…  The point _is _Sarah has wished herself away to me.  Now, _usually_ when that happens, the one wished away simply disappears and then I usually show up afterwards to give the wisher the opportunity to run the Labyrinth.  Somehow I don't think any of you will be making that offer."  

            He looked around at the others, smiling, a look which none could return.  "Anyway I don't very much think that she would _want or allow _any of you to win her back, right Sarah?"  He moved to her side so that she could face him.  She smiled wanly and shook her head.  "The only reason I'm doing things this way is so there would be no doubt in your minds as to how Sarah left, no way to change the story into something easier for you to swallow, or to explain.  Doing things this way also gives you an opportunity to apologize to her."

            "Excuse me?!" David exclaimed, right as Sharon-or-Beth said, "Apologize?"

            Jareth's expression turned dark.  "Yes, unless you want to do things the hard way.  I wouldn't advise you to try my patience.  There's no telling what I might do should I become angry enough."  To illustrate this point the door slammed shut with a loud bang, as did the two windows that had been opened, and then all the lights went out.  Everyone was momentarily blinded as his or her eyes struggled to adjust to the sudden darkness.  The cries and shouts from the hallway and beyond gave evidence that this power outage was not restricted to their room only.  The tension in the room doubled.

            Gertrude jumped to her feet.  "Sarah, honey, I'm so sorry for everything that's happened here.  Now if you don't mind, I'll just be getting the girls calmed down," she said, looking at Jareth beseechingly as if asking for his permission to leave.  She breathed a sigh of relief when the door turned easily under her hands.  She fairly ran out of the room, missing the looks of jealousy from the other adults who all wished they'd thought of it first.  Still no one said anything until they began to hear things skittering overhead in the ceiling.  Everyone looked up.

            "Now what's that?!" David exclaimed.

            "Those are some of my goblins, and if it comes down to them taking this place apart piece by piece, then so be it."

            "Sarah, I'm sorry okay?!  We _all_ are.  We should have believed you, we shouldn't have given you the drugs, we shouldn't have tied you up.  But we _were _just doing what we thought was best for you," David said in one quick stream of words.  With the last one, the lights came back on.

            "That's more like it," Jareth said, turning to Sharon-or-Beth.  

            She sighed.  "Likewise, but I would like to point out that you've been opening up more in group therapy.  That's gotta count for something – it's not only helping you, it's helping the other kids, the newer ones, open up too."

            "You're right," Sarah said slowly.  She looked at each of them in turn.  "There _are_ elements of this place that have helped me somewhat, even if it's just taught me to be more of a fighter, to stand up for myself.  So I'm not saying that _no_ good came of this… but may I suggest something?"

            The mere presence of the one standing behind Sarah quickly reminded them to all agree with her request.  "Just… listen a little more.  Put yourselves in their shoes.  Remember that they aren't sick just to annoy you, that they just want to get better and to be happy.  And don't make them feel that they're worse off than they really are."  They all nodded somberly.

            Finally she looked to Laurel, and to her surprise the older woman was looking at her, nodding in approval.  "Looks like you were right all along, kiddo.  Something tells me that this was no mere 'soul bearing, reveal-all-secrets' meeting like you said."  Sarah shook her head in agreement.  "Good move," Laurel replied slowly, a small, wry smile playing at one corner of her mouth. 

            Sarah swallowed hard and nodded, not trusting her voice.  Then she stood and backed up slowly until she could feel Jareth hovering behind her and turned, facing him.

            "I'm ready to go now," she said.

            "And your belongings?" he asked.  

            She shook her head.  "I don't want any of it.  I just want to go, from here."

            Smiling down at her, he put his hand out and she placed hers within his upturned palm.  She breathed in deeply as the room began to get hazy.  Out of the corner of her eyes she saw the others stand up and group together, watching in muted awe.

---

            Teleportation felt something like floating in water.  That feeling of weightlessness, of being suspended while at the same time being touched and embraced on all sides by – something, lasted but for a moment or two, and then they were there.  When she opened her eyes they were standing in her front yard.  Jareth waited for her to move and when she didn't he murmured her name softly, inquiring. 

            "Let's just stand here for one second, okay?" she said softly.  "It's such a beautiful time of day."

            He looked around.  It was true, the deepening colors of early evening caused dark green hues to stretch over the yard and the setting sun made shadows grow long and turned the sky into a vibrant banner of flame.  He knew she loved beauty such as this; that she soaked it up.  He also knew that she was stalling.  This would be the hardest part for her, and though he had no doubts that she would go through with it, he knew she had to take this slowly, to fix every detail in her mind.  That was just the way she was.  He looked at her affectionately and stood with her to fully share the experience.

            The door opened behind them.  "Sarah?"

            Jareth felt Sarah stiffen beside him and they both turned.  "Hi father," she said.

****This chapter was getting really long so I just decided to cut it in half and post it as two chapters.  The next one, being already done, will be out it a day or two, max.  Let me know, would you rather me put out shorter chapters more often or longer chapters, even if it means there will be more time in between?  Anyway, thanks to all who've left reviews.  Sorry if I haven't answered all of them yet, I will when I can.  But they are appreciated, greatly. ****


	20. Hello and Goodbye

**Ch. 20 **– Hello and Goodbye

            "What are you doing here?"

            Sarah looked around and then stared pointedly at her father.  "I've left Fairhaven dad."

            "Well, that's plain to see," he said, running one hand through his rumpled hair in a gesture of helplessness.  "Well… come on, come in out of the dark."

            They said nothing, not even bothering to point out that at this time of year, it was hardly dark.  They just followed Sarah's father wordlessly into the house.

            "Sarah?" Karen exclaimed as she came downstairs.  "I thought I heard your voice.  What's going on?  And who are you?" she asked, turning confused eyes on Jareth.

            Before he could respond Sarah spoke up.  "Maybe we'd better all sit down before we try explaining anything."

            They all walked into the living room and Sarah made a beeline for the piano bench, sitting down in front of her old trusted friend.

            "Sarah!" came a tiny voice.  Toby came flying down the stairs as fast as his little legs could carry him.  He ran into her open, waiting arms.  "You're back!  I knew you'd come home, I just knew it!  Mommy, daddy look-" he froze, just then noticing Jareth standing to one side.  "Hi," he said uncertainly.  He looked at his mother and father, who sat together on the loveseat.  They looked downright funny to him, sitting there with their mouths hanging slightly open.  It kind of reminded him of the time he'd gone to daycare.  All of the kids had been watching a movie and they all had that same listless expression, a kind of dumb wonderment.  He looked back at this strange man who now seemed kind of familiar.  "Hey, how come you're not sitting down like everyone else?"

            Jareth was about to put his hands up and assure the boy that he was perfectly fine standing but Toby was already gone.  A second later he came back into the room, pushing one of the chairs from the kitchen.  It was larger than he was and pushing it over carpet made the going slow.  Jareth went over and helped him lift and chair and move it into place next to Sarah's seat on the piano bench.  "Thank you Toby," he said smiling.

            Karen squeaked from her place on the couch, sounding like she had something to say.  When everyone looked at her, though, nothing came out.  She just sat there, her mouth in the shape of a perfect O. 

            "Dad…Karen, this is Jareth," Sarah began.

            "One thing dear," Karen interrupted, finding her voice, "How does he know Toby?"      

            Sarah sighed inwardly.  'Here we go again,' she said to herself.  "Toby and I went to his castle.  He's the one I told you guys about – the Goblin King.  Remember Dad?  The Underground, the Labyrinth…" there was a trace of bitterness in her voice.  "I told you all about it.  Anyway…" she stopped suddenly when she saw the old familiar masks come over their features as they exchanged glances – masks of disbelief.

            "Sarah," Robert began in an exhausted voice.  He stopped, not knowing how to go on.  Karen took his silence as a cue.

            "This again?" she asked in a voice she considered understanding.  "Sarah, why must you insist on believing in this fantasy of yours?  And what I want to know is how could that school have just let you go like that?  I mean we're paying top dollar to help you get better.  They should be more responsible than that.  Maybe I should get them on the phone and find out what's going on."

            Jareth could feel Sarah's thoughts swirling faster and faster as her anger grew.  "You call that place a school?!" she got out in a low growl when he put a hand on her shoulder.  She looked at him sharply and he stood up, facing her parents. 

           "After all this time, you _still_ don't believe her?  This place you sent her to, this "_school_" as you call it, they didn't believe either.  That is until I gave them proof which they could not deny.  So, maybe this will help resolve matters."  With a flick of his wrist a sphere appeared on his palm shining in translucent brilliance.  He began to manipulate it, letting it roll back and forth over both sides of his hand, now and then juggling it between both hands, entrancing Robert and Karen in much the same way that he'd once entranced their daughter.  He smirked, watching their heads following the shiny sphere wherever it went.

           "What _is_ that?" Karen asked in a small voice.

           "It's a crystal," he replied in his usual laconic voice, stopping his usual song-and-dance speech to exchange a knowing smile with Sarah.  "Here, look into it.  Don't be frightened," he added when they both backed up.  As he said this, he brought his hand up slightly and the crystal sphere rose off and floated toward the pair on the couch, stopping to rest in mid air in front of them.  It began to spin and shine brightly, and for a second Robert and Karen had to shut their eyes.  When they opened them the swirling mass of color had become a picture – a moving picture.

            "That's … Sarah!  And Toby!" Robert said in an astounded voice.  The first few images were of Sarah making her way through the maze, talking to the Wise Man, of Toby being entertained by the goblins.  Then the picture went straight to the room of stairs, showing Toby crawling up the walls and across the various ceilings and archways.  Karen gasped, first to see her son surrounded by the scruffy little beasts, and then when she saw him in so much supposed danger.  Jareth had chosen these particular images, though, because not only did seeing Toby crawling free of the rules of gravity erase any and all doubt as to the element of magic involved, but it also gave Sarah's parents a chance to see how bravely she had fought to win back their son.  He made sure to include, in full detail, the scene where Toby sat nearly a hundred feet below Sarah and she had jumped, risking life and limb to save him.  This had the desired effect – Robert gasped and almost reached out to catch her himself and then looked up astonished.  He looked up at Sarah who, still holding Toby, had stood up and moved closer in order to see.

            "Sarah?  Where you hurt?"

            "No, Jareth didn't let me fall.  He sent us home after that."

            "Wow…" he said sitting back.  "How… I just never knew a place like this could exist."

            "Apparently not," Sarah said bitterly.  "You had me put away for it!"

            Robert put his head into his hands, ashamedly.  "I know, honey.  I knew it was a mistake almost as soon as I let them take you.  Understand that I _wanted_ to get you out of there, but they wouldn't even let me _talk _to you, much less _see_ you.  They kept saying that you had the right to be left alone."

            "So what happened?" Karen interjected, "They just finally let you go?"

            "No, Jareth came and got me out," she replied, looking at him.

            He smiled.  "I'm afraid I didn't give them much of a choice.  Stubborn people, those doctors – I had to be quite persuasive."

            Sarah chuckled.  "Were those really goblins up in the ceiling?"

            "Yes they were."

            "So where are they now?"

            Jareth raised one eyebrow at her question.  "Why, they're still there.  And I might add that they're under direct orders to cause problems for the help from time to time."  

            Sarah smiled and shook her head in mock defeat.

            "So, what now?" Robert ventured.

            Sarah looked at her dad and wondered how she would answer his question.

---

            In Sarah's room, Jareth stood in one corner while Sarah sorted through her things separating what things she would bring with her.  She opened her desk drawer where she'd put all of her keepsakes the night she'd first come back from the Labyrinth.  She extracted the little red book and tossed it to Jareth, who began to flip through it.  Her mind wandered back to the conversation that had just taken place…

            *"Well Dad, I'm going back to the Labyrinth."  She looked back and forth between them, searching their faces. 

            Karen looked up.  "Is it because of me?  Sarah I know that things haven't been easy.  I can't replace your mother, but,"

            "And you don't need to.  I never _wanted _that," Sarah replied, a bit too roughly.  She began again, "You _know_ we've never gotten along Karen."  She waited until her stepmother looked at her before continuing.  "But the truth is… I don't _hate_ you.  I thought I did, at one time I would have _sworn_… but now, it would be so _easy_ to just blame you both for everything that's happened and storm out of here swearing that I'll never speak to you again.  But that's not what I want to do.  It's pointless and I've learned the hard way to think twice before shutting doors and burning bridges."

            Robert had noticed the pointed look that his daughter had thrown to the one next to her as she said this.  "Then why are you leaving?"

            "Well, aside from the obvious fact that a little space for awhile will improve all of our relationships, Jareth needs my help.  Whatever is going on with the Labyrinth is because of me and I want to help fix whatever mess I've made of things.  And besides, I just… _want _to go."*

            Sarah's thoughts came to the present as she found the pictures of her mom.  She flipped through them and then bundled them together and placed them on the pile on her bed.  Next she picked up the little music box that she'd never been able to bring herself to throw away.  Now she was glad she hadn't.  When she set it on the bed the movement cause the tiny switch to move and music spilled into the air.  

            "That sounds familiar," Jareth said, coming up behind her.  His smile widened when he spotted the statue on her desk.  "What's this?" he asked, picking it up.

            Sarah's face grew red and she couldn't quite meet his eyes as she mumbled, "It's just this doll thing I found somewhere.  I don't even remember when I got it."  She grabbed it from him saying, "Maybe I should leave it for Toby.  He might like to remember…"

            "You're absolutely right.  Why would you need a doll when you've got the real thing to pl-" 

            "Hey Toby!" Sarah said loudly to her little brother who'd just wandered into her room.  "Do you want this?"  She waved the doll in front of him temptingly.

            "Uh-huh," he said, reaching.  "Hey, it's you!  It looks just like you."  He looked at his sister.  "Thank you Sarah."  Suddenly his face lit up and he ran out of the room with his new treasure under one arm.

            Sarah was busy stuffing her things into a large duffel bag, trying not to notice the amused eyes that followed her every move.  Toby came back carrying, in addition to his new toy, his goblin doll.  He saw his sister's bag, which was now full.  "Aw you leaving Sarah?"  He put his dolls on her bed and ran into Sarah's arms.  

            "Yes Toby, but just for a little while.  I'll see you again, soon.  I promise."

            "But you just got back."

            "Toby, I'll tell you what," Jareth spoke up, motioning for the two others to follow him.  He went into Toby's room and stood in front of the mirror.  He conjured a crystal and blew upon it so that it floated like a bubble.  The crystal bubble drifted over to the mirror, where on contact, it popped.

            "Sir Didymus," he called out.  The reflection suddenly changed into that of the little fox terrier who turned and bowed.

            "My Liege," came the tiny voice.  He straightened, "and Lady Sarah!  I'm so glad to know that thou art safe at last."

            "Oh, Didymus, it's so good to see you!  How are you?"  Sarah exclaimed happily.

            Before he could answer, Jareth spoke up.  "Lady Sarah and I are making the final arrangements and will be arriving soon."

            "Highness, let me assure you that everything will be ready for your return."  He bowed once more as the image faded.  "My Lady…"

            Jareth got on his knees in front of Toby.  "So you see, all you have to do is call my name, Jareth, or your sister's name and either she or I will appear and then you can talk to each other.  How's that sound?"

            "Great!" Toby said, his eyes shining with joy.  "Gimme five!" he exclaimed, holding out his hand.

            At Jareth's confused look, he turned his hand so that it was raised to eye level and facing him and then gave him a high five.  Sarah chuckled and when Jareth raised his eyes to hers she mouthed, "I'm ready," nodding her head for emphasis.  He nodded in turn and stood.  Down the stairs they went, Toby in Sarah's arms.

            It was a solemn good-bye, there in the living room, with near silent hugs.  There were no tears, no well wishing.  Sarah supposed it was to be expected – this had all happened so quickly.  They'd had no time to deal with it all, no time to think about what was right.  Toby on the other hand was merely content with his secret gifts and Sarah could swear that she was already starting to see something of herself in her little brother.

            Robert did make one pointed remark before the two left.  "Take care of her," he said, looking at Jareth.

            "I will," Jareth replied and something passed between the two of them – some understanding only the two were a party to.  And then it was time.

            Again Sarah put her hand into Jareth's and as the room began to ripple and that familiar tingle began on her skin, she looked at her family and waved.  

            They waved back, but the couple had already disappeared…


	21. Homecoming

**Ch. 21** – Homecoming 

            "Sarah?"

            The sound of her name, spoken in soft tones, bounced off of her gently, and seemed to be coming from everywhere at once. 

            "Hmmm?" she murmured in reply after a few seconds.

            "Open your eyes," Jareth said in an amused voice.  "We're here."

            "Oh," she said, opening her eyes.  She hadn't realized that she'd been holding them shut.  She looked around.  They were standing in Jareth's throne room.  "It's so strange," she began, stepping back and slowly turning to take in her surroundings.  She'd only been here once, briefly, and hadn't had the time to study the large stone room with its sunken pit in the center and strange curved throne.  From what she did remember, it was the same, but seeing it again was like seeing a dream up close.  It felt unreal.

            "What do you mean strange?" Jareth asked in mock arrogance.  One glance told Sarah that he was only playing.

            "Just – being here again.  I mean, trying to remember details of this place, trying so hard to see everything in my mind for so long.  And then," she held up her hand, indicating their surroundings, "here it all is."

            "Yes," he said at length, gazing at her intensely.  "I can understand the feeling."

            Sarah felt her face grow slightly warm, but before she could think of anything to say, there was a loud clatter from the far side of the room.

            "My Lady!" cried Sir Didymus, bouncing into the room.  He had the same eager expression on his face, the same knightly attire.  Sarah noticed a brand new bright, yellow plume had replaced the tattered old feather that once stuck out of his hat.  

            "Sir Didymus!" Sarah cried, running over to grab him up into a fierce hug.  "It's so good to see you!"

            "And you, Fair Maiden.  'Tis far too long a time since these lands be graced by your presence." 

            A few of the goblins running around the castle clambered in, wanting to see what the commotion was all about.  Sir Didymus immediately began barking out orders for them not to pester Sarah.

            "My apologies Sire – I gave them strict orders to keep to the City, all but the ones with a task to finish in the castle, of course.  But you know these goblins – one has to say everything six times, and even then they manage to get it wrong."  Sir Didymus sighed piteously.

            "That's quite alright," Jareth said, hiding a grin.  "You there!" he called out to a lanky goblin, dressed in chain mail, who'd just tripped at his feet.  He bent down and picked the goblin up by the brush of his helmet.  "Take the Lady's things and deposit them into her rooms."

            The goblin's head sounded like a rattle as he nodded.  "Uh-huh, Sire," he mumbled dumbly, and with a salute, he gathered Sarah's few bags and trudged out of the large room.  Sir Didymus followed closely at the goblin's heels, hopping around, warning him, in no uncertain terms, of what would happen should he damage any of the things in his care.

            "Rooms?" Sarah asked inquiringly.  "You mean there's more than one?"

            "Of course.  You can see them later and let me know if they are to your liking."

            "Oh, okay," she said haltingly.  "But I don't need much and I'm sure they're just fine.  I just,"

            "Sarah, you're not going to be treated like one of the help here.  You're my guest."  Jareth's gaze turned impish.  "Unless, of course, you'd prefer to stay in the Goblin City.  I hear they've got quite lovely accommodations this time of year.  Or there's always the house you barricaded yourself in during your battle with my goblins.  I'm sure they'd be happy to let you stay with them."

            Sarah smiled wryly, wondering what the Goblin King would do were she to throw one of his subjects at him.  "Very funny.  But speaking of the rest of the Kingdom, can I see some of it?  It feels like it's been so long."

            "Good idea," Jareth said.  "You'll be able to see everything later on, but for now, I'll show you some of the grounds surrounding the castle."

**---**

Sarah blinked as she followed Jareth out of the castle doors and stepped into the sun.  For a few seconds she looked around in bewilderment, trying to see what was wrong with the picture.  Then she got it.  It was mid-day here, with goblins gadding about, carrying on their goblin business, which mainly consisted of poking each other with sticks or chasing chickens across the courtyard.  The home she'd just left had been growing dark, the day nearly over.  But, of course, for time ran differently here.  That would take some getting used to.

            She looked up to find Jareth watching her, an amused smile on his face.  It must have been apparent what she was thinking.  She shrugged good-naturedly at him and kept moving forward.  Up ahead she heard a familiar sound.

            "Who bite who first?"

            "You bite ME first!  Therefore I sock it to you!"  With that the goblin brought his nipper stick swinging around to hit the goblin next to him.  There was a ringing sound as the tiny, pink monster made contact with the side of the goblin's helmet.  The nipper held on to the side with his large teeth, and when the first goblin began yanking on his stick in order to free it, the second goblin was flung around like a sack of potatoes.

            "Ooh!  I get you good for that one, you fuzz-ball!"

            There were a good four or five of them in the fray, all fighting and tripping over one another.  Sarah immediately recognized them as the one's she had found tormenting poor Ludo.  They still sported those funny spiked helmets, which fell low over their eyes.  For some reason they'd always reminded Sarah of upside down colanders.  Seeing their King standing in their midst, they immediately stood upright, saluting him.  Or at least they tried to, most of them running into each other in the attempt and falling over a few more times before getting it right.

            Jareth rolled his eyes and said, "As you were.  This way Sarah," he added, walking past them.

            Sarah, too, passed them, ignoring the sudden whispers and wide-eyed stares she got from them.  She quickened her pace to catch up with Jareth.

            "They still fight about that day, can you believe it?" he said when she'd caught up.

            "Really?"

            "It's all a big mystery now to the whole lot of them.  I hear them telling stories of it.  The Great Mystery of _Who Turned Out the Lights._  Truth is, none of them can see very well with those huge helmets on their heads."

            They made their way through the narrow streets, heading east.  Now that she was not on a time limit, Sarah was determined to take in as much as possible.  She frequently stopped here and there to watch the city's funny little inhabitants as they went about their daily lives.  They weren't really all that frightening when the whole lot of them weren't chasing after you, trying to shoot you or run you through with their spears.  Not that she'd really been frightened, she told herself quickly.

            Eventually they came to the edge of the city.  Sarah hadn't even realized they were nearing it, too busy looking from side to side, until all of the sudden they passed the last two houses and one lone well and that was it.  She stopped, startled.  Ahead of them tall, green grass stretched ahead as far as the eye could see.  It was about waist deep, deeper in some places, while in others only about knee deep.  It was a soothing shade of soft emerald that complemented the blue of the sky, and constantly waved in the slight breeze.  

            Jareth stood to her side and breathed in deeply.  "This is the Esplanade.  Or the mead, as it is usually referred to."

            "It's lovely," Sarah murmured in reply.  "But I thought that your castle, being the center of the Labyrinth was surrounded by maze."

            "It is, but there are areas where the Labyrinth is not so overt in its treachery."

            There was something mesmerizing about the way the grass rippled, almost like water, constant and undulating.  It beckoned to her, to come lay in its warm depths, to soak up the sunshine and dream to her heart's content.  She hadn't realized she'd been slowly moving forward, until she felt a firm grip on her arm, halting her.

            "Sarah, you must be careful.  Even though it looks peaceful, it's still a part of the Labyrinth, still not to be taken for granted.  There is still a maze to traverse here, but it's much harder to see, which perhaps makes it more dangerous."

            "How is there a maze here?" she asked, squinting doubtfully at the green waves.

            "I'll show you, but follow closely and don't go anywhere I don't go."

            With that he clutched her hand, pulling her in close behind him.  They waded out into the grass.  Sarah held her free hand out to barely brush the tips of grass as they passed by her.  Jareth noticed her contented smile.

            "You think this is nice, you should see the view from one of the tower balconies.  The whole mead waves and ripples, and when the winds blow heavily it begins to make a sound like that of a cracking whip.  It's quite breathtaking to see and hear."

            After a few minutes they came to a stream.  It was quite a bit lower than they were, in a ditch, but seemed to be shallow enough to wade through.  Where it lacked in depth, it made up for in width, though it seemed that if one were to take enough of a running start, it would be possible to leap over.  When they reached it, Jareth veered to the right and for a few minutes they walked alongside it.  Pretty soon they came to another stream, one that mirrored the other exactly in its proportions, although it ran exactly perpendicular to the other stream.  The two crossed, like roads, and at the point where they intersected there was a tiny whirlpool.  Jareth stopped and studied the streams closely.

            "Should we go back and find the way around them?  Or we _could_ just jump over.  It doesn't look too far," Sarah suggested helpfully.

            "That's the problem here.  Sometimes it _isn't_ too far, but sometimes it is.  The water creates a sort of optical illusion that makes it very difficult, if not impossible, to judge distance accurately."  He looked at her.  "These streams make up the river maze.  The thing is, a stream this small _shouldn't _be so near the castle.  Usually if one finds themselves at the other end of this particular maze, the streams start out small and easy looking and get bigger the farther in they get, which isn't ever very far.  So this place too, it seems, is reordering itself."  He sighed, walking up and down a small length of the embankment, still watching the two streams closely.

            "But no matter which size streams are where, even if you can't get over by jumping in some places, can't you still just wade through?  The water doesn't look very deep."

            "Again, in some places it's not.  In others you'll quickly go in over your head, _even _if you can see the bottom and it doesn't look deeper than a hand's breadth.  And that _is_ impossible to differentiate."

            "Oh…okay."  Something dawned on her.  "Just how dangerous _is _this place?"

            "There's no need to fear for your life.  I didn't mean that it was dangerous in that way," he quickly assured her, "it's only dangerous in that it's very easy to become disoriented and lost here.  Would you like to see what would happen should you mistakenly fall into one of the deeper streams?"  

            At Sarah's hesitant nod he summoned forth a goblin with a crystal.

            "Duh…yes yoor Ma-just-y?" he gurgled drunkenly.

            "Drunk again, hmmm?" Jareth asked, eyeing the goblin, who bobbed his head up and down enthusiastically.  "You need a good sobering dunk in the water."  

            With that he gave the goblin a swift kick in the rump, which sent him flying into the stream headfirst.  The goblin briefly went under and then floating back up to the top, he spit out a mouthful of water, and began to float lazily, sunning himself.

            "Mm-hmm.  Just as I suspected," Jareth said, and reaching forward, he plucked the goblin out of one stream and threw him into the other.

            The goblin's shout of dismay was cut off as he went under.  Sarah ran over, stopping just behind Jareth's shoulder, to see what would become of the poor creature.  The goblin's head popped out of the water but by now the current had mysteriously picked up and the poor creature could not find a footing with which to right himself.  He splashed about and moaned the whole way over as he neared the center where the two streams intersected.  He was quickly sucked into the whirlpool and went round and round.  "Sayonara!" he called out as his revolutions became smaller and smaller and then he disappeared altogether, straight down the center, like water going down the drain.

            "Did you kill him?" Sarah asked, her tone slightly accusing.

            "Of course not.  I told you that nothing here would kill you.  The whirlpool merely took him to an oubliette."

            "Oh," she said, relieved.  "But is he stuck there now?"

            "No, unfortunately all of my goblins know by now how to get out of those.  You think if it was that easy to get rid of them, to get some peace and quiet around the castle, that I wouldn't have made extensive use of that by now?  Don't worry, he'll find his way back home."

            Sarah smiled.  "I can see what you mean now, about this place.  There are traps here, just like anywhere else."

            "That's the Labyrinth for you."

            "It's a shame though.  Looking at this place, you kind of just want to run through it without a care in the world.  It actually kind of reminds me of _Alice in Wonderland_, that's a movie I used to watch as a child.  This little girl is lying in a field of grass and flowers, and they're almost going over her head, and she's singing of a place in her mind where the animals and flowers can talk and just about anything can happen.  …Kind of like here."  She smiled again as the irony struck her.  She glanced over to find Jareth studying her.

            "Perhaps this girl spoke of the Underground.  Was this a true story?"

            "Well, no.  In the story it turns out that she's dreaming.  But it's just make-believe, something some guy thought up and wrote down in a book.  The version I saw was animated, besides.  Interestingly, though, in her dream she _did_ get there by crawling down a rabbit hole, and then falling deep underground…  Wouldn't it be weird if the author thought up all of this because he'd actually been here as a child?  And then when he grew up, he simply filled in the blank spaces in his memory with fun, non-sensical story telling?"

            "Could be.  Anything's possible," Jareth mused.  "The thing is, like you said before, about wanting to run around in here, it _is _possible, to a certain extent.  Or was.  I'm not so sure now.  Usually where two streams cross, one will be shallow and the other will be the trap, the deep one.  If you can figure out which is which and keep track, it is possible to make your way through here safely.  There are large areas near the middle of the mead with nothing but grass, wild flowers and sunshine, like in your story, and they're not impossible to find if you learn your way around here, as I have.  …Except…"

            Sarah's excitement, upon hearing this news, halted at hearing that last word.  "Except what," she asked when it was apparent he wasn't going on.

            "Well, it seems that everything here is rearranging itself.  I'm afraid that I don't know my way around here any more than you at this point."

            "Oh," she replied quietly.

            "Well… we can learn it again."

            "But if everything's changed, maybe it is still changing, even as we speak.  I mean that's conceivable, right?"

            "Yeah, you're probably correct.  Maybe, for the time being, it would be better if we went and explored another area."

            They backtracked in silence, for a few minutes.

            "I have an idea," Sarah heard his voice say, behind her.  She stopped and waited.  "Let's go straight to the Enchanted Forest.  You're friends are there right now.  You would like to see them, wouldn't you?"

            "Definitely," she agreed, grinning in anticipation of seeing her very beloved, much missed friends again.

            Jareth summoned another crystal and held out his hand for Sarah to take.  She reached for it and then paused.

            "Jareth?" she said uncertainly.

            "Yes?"

            She held his gaze, meaningfully.  "… I _will_ help you fix this.  I promise."

            He smiled warmly as his fingers closed around hers.

            They disappeared.

**~*~*~**

**Author's note: **Hey, everyone.  So sorry for the delay.  Hope everyone likes the new chappie.  As always, I own the rights to nothing and I am not claiming to know the origin of Alice in Wonderland.  More importantly I am _not _claiming that the author of that story actually went to the Underground.  That was merely a bit of conjecture on my part.  So nobody sue me.  And again, thank you to everybody who reviewed.  And thank you to all who were patient with me and my writer's block.  (I do understand what it's like to wait for a story.  Every single story I'm following right now has not updated in a month or more, too.)


	22. A Crack In the Exterior

**A.N. – **(looks at feet, timidly kicking at the rocks)  Uhhhhh, okay, I know it's been way too long.  Please forgive me for letting more than TWO months go by without updating.  I have had the worst writer's block with this story.  I couldn't figure out how to get to where I knew I was going.  It just wasn't coming, and I could force it but then it's never as good.  It becomes, in my mind, just dead words.  I wanted to get back to that point where the thoughts are coming out faster than I can keep up with, and I'm scribbling unreadable (to all but me) words out on the page.  I think I've gotten back to that place, if the last few days are any proof.  Work has started up again and I find that I do much better at writing when there is a distraction.  When I'm alone in my room, it's too quiet.  So, my point is that I think that I'll be able to start putting out chapters regularly again.  I hope.  I'm gonna try and not let too much time go by anymore.  So if anyone is still reading this, if you're still out there, I thank you.  Thank you for having patience with me.  Hope you enjoy.

**Ch. 22** – A Crack In the Exterior

            When they arrived Sarah stepped back and took in her surroundings, looking up and turning in a slow circle.  Above her the trees stretched up and up to a dizzying height, shading everything with their ancient branches.

            "It's just like I remember," she breathed.                                                                                                                                                                                 

            Jareth found he couldn't take his eyes off of her.  Words stuck in his throat.

            She looked over.  "You know, this'll be great.  I sorta always wished I'd gotten the chance to explore this place a little.  Problem _was_ I was kind of on a time limit last time."  She gave him an ironic smile.

            He quickly cleared his throat and, stepping forward, he took her hand once more.  "There'll be time for that soon enough.  First things first.  You're friends are this way," he finished, backing up, pulling her with him.

            He held her with his eyes and she felt a blush creep its way up her neck, into her cheeks.  Up ahead, just over Jareth's shoulder, she saw a looming shape covered in dark red fur.

            "Ludo!" she cried out.

            The big, shaggy creature, who'd been busy having a conversation with a rock at his feet, jumped.  He spun around, though, with his great size and mass to contend with, spinning around more closely resembled a very slowly moving display one would see in a store window.  She stifled a giggle and spotted his much smaller companion.  (Not the rock.)

            "And Hoggle!"

            Hoggle, being much quicker, beat Ludo over, stopping just in front of Sarah with his hands on his waist.  "So," he said in a surly voice, "You finally decided to show up.  Hmmmm, how like you."

            "Oh Hoggle, you _know _you've missed me as much as I missed you," Sarah countered, bending down and throwing her arms around the dwarf.

            "Did _not_," came the muffled reply from her shoulder.  

            She pulled back and held him out at arm's length, giving her friend a skeptical look.

            Hoggle couldn't keep the grin off his face.  "Ohhhh, you _know_ I'm only foolin' with ya!"

            Ludo was close behind and no sooner had Sarah let go of Hoggle, then she was grabbed up into a very fierce, giant, ruffly teddy-bear hug.  "Ludo miss Sarah _much_!  Ludo _glad_ Sarah back."

            "I missed you too, both of you."

            By now, Hoggle noticed Jareth standing nearby.  He bowed quickly.  "Your Highness."

            Jareth acknowledged this with a nod, as well as Ludo's copied bow.

            "But Sarah, where have you been?  We've been so worried about you," Hoggle asked, resting one hand on her arm like he did in the old days when concerned for her.

            Smiling at this comforting memory, she sat down and folded her legs.  "It's a long story…"

---

           They stayed for a few hours, visiting and catching up.  Sarah sat with her friends in a semi-circle in a nice sunny patch of grass.  Jareth was content to lean against a near-by oak, listening to the chatter.  The shadows grew long and soon he noticed Sarah leaning into Ludo's side, hiding a yawn.  He was about to inquire when she saved him the trouble.

            "_(yawn)_ Oh!  I'm exhausted!"  She sat up, stretching.  "It just hit me."

            "Yes," he agreed, rising.  "It's been a very long day for you, what with the time difference and all.  Perhaps we should go."

            Sarah stood.  "Talk about your jet lag.  And I thought it was bad when I went to London!"  She turned once more to her friends, giving them each another hug.  "Bye you guys.  I promise we'll visit more tomorrow."

            By the time they'd reached the throne room, Sarah was more than a little tired.  Leaving her standing in the middle of the room Jareth approached a goblin standing guard.  The diminutive sentry pointed up the stairs and gave the location of the rooms that had been set up.  With this information in hand he turned back to Sarah.

            "Sarah, are you alright?"

            She was standing right where he'd left her; in fact she hadn't moved a muscle.  She wore a blank look on her face.  His steps quickened.

            "Sarah, what's wrong?!"  He reached up to shake the life back into her.  Once his hands made contact with her icy skin, she came out of it.  She jumped and looked dazed as her eyes struggled to focus on his.  "What was that?"

            "What? … I dunno.  Is everything okay now?"

            "Everything's fine," he said, staring hard at her.  "Are _you_ okay?"

            "I think so," she murmured.  "I think I'd better lay down though."

            Neither said anything as Jareth led Sarah up the wide staircase.  Its shadowy depths were relaxing and inviting and they reminded Sarah that she longed for nothing but a nice, soft bed in which to drown herself for a few hours.  Or a few days.

            Only one thing managed to distract her briefly from her goal.  When they'd reached the top of the winding staircase and began their way down the long hall, she glanced into one of the doorways they passed.  What she saw caused her to skid to a halt.  'Was that…?'

            She backed up and looked into the room she'd just walked by.

            "Sarah?  What is it?" Jareth asked, pausing a few feet ahead of her.

            "It's…" she turned, facing him and beckoned him over to her.  He joined her in the doorway, smiling grimly.

            The Escher Room spread out before them, seemingly larger than she'd remembered it to be.  Much of it looked as it had when she'd first wandered into it that day, although whether it had actually been repaired or was self-regenerating she wasn't sure.  There were still large sections of stair floating lazily in the center like cracked ice floes.

            It was odd. When she'd taken that final plunge, then floated gracefully down to the bottom, _everything_ had been broken, cracked into pieces, and detached from its solid foundations.  It was as if she'd broken down the walls of her own personal prison, which probably wasn't too far off from the truth because this place had more than likely been taken from her mind, like so much else had.  But, if that _was _the way the game was played, if each contest was tailored so carefully to the mind of its player, in order to make the best use of his or her weaknesses, then why was it still here?  It had served its purpose.  And why did it look almost like new again?

            Sarah turned questioning eyes on Jareth.  He just stared back, offering nothing.  "It's still here," she said lamely.

            "Yes.  Where did you expect it would go?"

            Now she felt foolish.  "But last time… it was all broken and… chaotic."

            His hand, warm on her back, turned her, guiding her to look inside the room once more.  "You see, the castle is made up of the same living stone as the Labyrinth walls.  It is trying to fix itself, and has nearly succeeded."  He led her away and before she could ask any more questions, added, "Your rooms are this way."

            Remembering her exhaustion she yielded to his prodding.  But the questions still ran through her head.  Had the room always been there?  Was it merely a coincidence that she'd stumbled upon it the first time?  She'd been under the assumption that nothing here happened by accident.  Had she misunderstood how everything worked?  She privately vowed to get some answers tomorrow, if not from Jareth directly, then from her friends.

            They turned a corner in the long hallway and found her room.  It was large and spacious with windows lining two thirds of the wall space.  The room was round but wide enough so that the walls looked almost flat.  There were two other doors flanking the one they'd come through, spaced out greatly, but they were closed, so she could only guess at what was behind them.

            Her bed stood against the far wall, the headboard against the middle window.  It had a dark frame from which heavy velvet draperies hung.  They were tied back to each of the bed's four posts with wide sashes of silk and Sarah could tell that, when let down they'd do a good job of keeping out any straying light.  At the moment it looked quite inviting.

            "The traditional human bed is seldom used here, but I thought you'd be more comfortable with what you're used to."

            "Thanks," Sarah said, "It's beautiful."  She walked over and carefully sat down on one side, feeling large and awkward on such finery.  "Geez!  It's really comfortable too!"

            Jareth smiled at the unfamiliar phrase.  He began to back out.  "Your clothing has been deposited in your dressing room," he said, indicating the door to her left.  "Should you need anything, just blow on this and one of the servants will attend to you."  His upturned palm now held a crystal, which he lightly tossed in her direction.  It floated lazily in the air, like an errant bubble, but the thing that landed in Sarah's hands was a small silver whistle.  She looked down at it and then back at Jareth.

            "I blow on this and it will call them?"

            "Exactly."

            A playful expression crossed her features.  "What if I want to find you?"

            "Well then, my lady, for that you simply… make a wish," he finished with a knowing smile, which she couldn't help but return.

            With a nod and a flourish he was gone and Sarah was left to ponder her new surroundings.  She went into the dressing room, which had been pointed out to her.  She was strangely relieved to see her clothing, all accessible and in good order.  Taking comfort in this small familiarity, she changed into one of her old t-shirts and a pair of thin, cotton sweat pants.  Donning a pair of socks she left her discarded clothing in the room and made her way into the main room.  Before going over to the bed, she took a moment to peek into the one remaining room.  It was some sort of wash room, that much could be seen from the normal looking things, like the large mirror adorning one wall, and the pure white basin sitting in one corner.  Some of the other things in the large room looked odd and Sarah couldn't quite tell what to make of them.

            'Oh well,' she thought, 'there'll be time enough for exploring later.  Right now I need sleep!"

---

            _Walking… she was walking.  But where was she?  And to where was she headed?  It was a hallway; it seemed familiar.  Long and open, it echoed with every step she took.  Along one side were windows and cold moonlight streamed through; turning the fluttering cotton curtains a glowing white.  Feet bare on the cold floor, one hand hesitatingly outstretched, sliding along the opposite wall, she walked, a growing sense of dread in her heart.  The hallway seemed to stretch on and on forever, the end was merely shadows.  It may not **be **the end; there may have been no end at all._

_            How had she gotten here?  Was this some part of the Labyrinth that she hadn't yet seen?  Jareth hadn't told her about it.  Was it he she was searching for?  No, that didn't seem right.  She would have been glad to find him right now.  She didn't know why, but she found that she trusted him implicitly.  No, wherever she was currently headed did **not** feel right.  With every step she felt a rising sense of panic that clawed its way up the back of her throat like bile.  And yet, on she went.  _

_            She wondered why.  Why didn't she just stop, turn around and run in the other direction?  Scream even, pride be damned at this point.  But even as she questioned herself, she moved on.  She ordered her feet to stop and kept on going.  The maddening thing **was, **it wasn't as if she had no control over her own body.  That would have been easier to accept, that something was happening beyond her control and it was all right to panic.  But she knew somehow that she did have control, that it was she who chose to keep moving, even though she didn't want to.  She'd tell herself to stop, and she'd think about what that meant.  She'd **see **herself stopping and there'd be some internal dialogue that would agree with her and it would remind her of the importance in **not** continuing down this hallway.  Something was down there, something she didn't want to face, maybe something dangerous.  Then she would realize that the whole time, **THE WHOLE TIME**, she'd been walking still.  She'd even fooled herself into believing that she'd stopped, only to find that she was that much closer._

_            Over and over.  She'd tell herself, she'd plead with herself.  'Just stop…  Stop… Not one more step!' and then her mind would wander again.  It was becoming a sick horror movie.  She kept going, gasping quietly, her mind a riot of screaming thoughts.  To her left she heard the soft patter of feathers against glass and saw a large shadow spill across the hallway.  It seemed to be warning her.  She didn't even turn her head.  All she could see now was the doorway at the end, appearing predatorily out of the shadows, calling. _

_             She couldn't stop now.  Even though she screamed inside not to open that door, not to see who was inside, she went inexorably.  _

_            'Where are the others,' she wondered, and then she knew.  This hallway, so familiar, not usually so empty or so long, was one of the many in Fairhaven._

_            'Don't-go-don't-go-don't-go-don't-go-don't-go-don't-go-don't-go-don't-go-don't…' _

_            Her hand rested on the doorknob, and she paused._

_            'No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no…'_

_            She pushed the door open a crack, froze.  _

_            Softly from inside came a voice, voices._

_            "It's okay, Sarah."_

_            "Come back to us."_

_            "We'll help you."_

_            "no-no-no-no-no-no-No-No-No-No-No-No-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-**NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NOOOOOO!!!!!**"  She found herself screaming as she gave the door one final shove and it swung inward, revealing a room full of doctors.  Some she recognized, like Laurel, like the two guys who were at her house that night, Mike and someone…Doug.  Mike and Doug.  Others she'd never laid eyes on before now.  They all stared like they knew exactly who she was._

_            Tears streamed.  Her words continued, unintelligibly._

_            They shook their heads, disapprovingly, exchanging glances with one another._

_            "It's time to quit this now Sarah.  Time to face reality."_

_            She hadn't wanted for this to happen.  She'd thought she'd finally seen the last of this place._

            Her screaming became loud in her own ears.  She hadn't even known she'd been screaming.  But now, here it was, reverberating, hurting her head.  In addition to this assaulting noise were hands, large warm hands encircling her upper arms, shaking her.  She fought back, imagining straight jackets and needles, and then heard her name called in a different tone, one that broke through the chaos in her mind.  She stopped screaming and this plunging silence further grounded her.  She reached out, grabbed handfuls of some kind of soft cloth.  A collar, a person beneath.  Pulling herself up and closer, she forced her eyes open and found herself staring into the concerned eyes of Jareth.

            Nothing needed to be said.  He pushed himself into a position on the bed where he could better support her slight weight, pulling her into his arms.  She shook violently and he could feel her heart beating hard, and too fast.  Her bangs clung to her forehead damply.  He just held her more tightly.

            Sarah took what strength he offered, laying her head on his shoulder and closing her eyes.  It had just been a horrible nightmare.  It was over now.  She sighed with relief.

            But as her mind slowly calmed, she seemed to catch one last echo from the dream.

            _"Damn!  We lost her.  We were so close…"_

A knot of ice clenched in her stomach, causing her eyes to open in alarm for one second before she closed them again.

            _"Wake up Sarah.  Come back to us…"_


	23. Questions of 'Relativity'

Hot off the press!  Just got done with this chapter this morning (and on my break, no less).  So, another big thank-you to all who reviewed, and here it is.

**Ch. 23 – **Questions of 'Relativity'

            There was a light rapping at the door just over Sarah's shoulder.  She jumped from the sound and then nearly tripped right out of her jeans, which were pooled around her feet.

            "Hold on.  I'll be out in a second," she called.

            She finished changing and exited the dressing room.

            "That was more than a second," Jareth commented dryly from where he stood, leaning against a mahogany-colored bookcase.  He smiled at her choice of clothing but said nothing.

            "A _thousand_ pardons," Sarah replied dramatically, one hand held over her heart in mock horror.  Her eyes closed in defeat even as the corners of her mouth curled up into a playful smile.  "I'm still trying to get my bearings in that cavernous closet."  She studied her reflection critically in the mirror that stood against the wall next to the bookcase, turning halfway as she continued.  "You know, that one closet is bigger than my _whole_ room at home was!"

            Jareth chuckled at this, but his expression quickly turned serious.  "Are you sure you're feeling well enough to go out today?  After last night…"

            "I'm fine, really.  I slept fine after that," she assured him, only glancing at him quickly in the mirror's reflection, before returning her gaze to her own eyes.

            In truth, it had been an extremely long time before she'd even had the courage to close her eyes.  She was so afraid of slipping back into that nightmare, especially after Jareth had left.  She'd finally nodded off by accident and what little sleep she'd finally succumbed to had thankfully remained dreamless.

            But there was really no point in causing any needless worry and so she said nothing.  Besides, she reassured herself again, it was probably a natural reaction to all that she had been through.  It was probably just her mind's way of working through the trauma.

            She ran a brush though her hair and then tied it back, biting back a smile at the brief look of disappointment that crossed Jareth's features.

---

            "Hoggle?  Can I ask you something?"

            Sarah and her three friends were again sitting in a semi-circle in a nice grassy area in the forest.  Jareth had left her in the care of Sir Didymus, Hoggle and Ludo, claiming to have business to attend to in a nearby kingdom.  She suspected he may have simply wanted to give her some time alone with her old friends and she appreciated the gesture.

            "Hmmm…what?" Hoggle asked doubtfully.

            Sarah had been waiting all morning to ask her questions, in fact it was the main reason she hadn't let Jareth talk her out of the day's visit, but now that she had the chance, she wasn't sure how to begin.  Lying back in the grass, knees drawn up, she pondered what to say.  One arm became a pillow for her head and the other shielded her eyes from the sun as she looked over at Hoggle.  

            "Has that room with all of the stairs _always _been there?" she asked mildly.

            Hoggle didn't answer.  He and Sir Didymus exchanged meaningful glances, which of course Sarah didn't miss.  She sat up and looked back and forth between the two.  _"What?"_

            "Uhhhh, why…" Hoggle began, "why do you ask?"

            "Well," she said slowly, "yesterday we walked by and… and it's still there.  It just struck me as odd, you know, because I was under the impression that the Labyrinth adapted to each player.  I mean… I _still_ think that's true, because there _were_ a lot of things I noticed when I got home that were very similar to things I saw while I was here.  Like it took these things from my memories and subconscious… or something."  She paused.  "Of course, the most obvious of these was when my _bedroom_ was in the middle of the _junkyard_.  That was taken from my mind in order to trick me, right?"

            Didymus nodded, blinking in that odd manner he had.  "Yes, that's right.  The Labyrinth _is_ very… _tricky_… that way."

            Something about the way he answered seemed to be too careful, too forced.

            "Well… so then was that room taken from my mind?  Because it looks an awful lot like an art poster I've got at home.  It was a surrealist piece and it had these stairs going every which way, which would be impossible in my world."

            Hoggle and Didymus continued to keep innocent expressions on their faces.  Sarah glanced at Ludo but he was busy following the trail of a bee as it buzzed around his face, oblivious to the conversation.

            "So…" Sarah prodded.

            "Hmmm… sounds like a neat drawing," Hoggle supplied hopefully.

            "Uhh-uhh, no way!  Guys, I want to know – _is_ there a connection between the stair room and my poster?  Or is it all a coincidence?"  She searched their faces closely.  "Guys?"

            Didymus' eyebrows shot up, giving him a look of utter helplessness.  "Ummm…yes?"

            "Yes, what?"

            "…Huh?"

            Sarah sighed.  This was getting frustrating.  "Okay, seriously.  _What_ is the connection you two?  I _know_ you know what I'm talking about." 

            Sensing she wasn't going to let this one go any time soon, Hoggle gave a sigh of his own.  "Yes, the stair room was taken from yer memories.  There, are you happy?  You should feel _so _special that a whole room was made just fer you.  It came about when you first entered the Labyrinth's gates.  You were meant to get lost in it and either give up or run out of time."

            "But I _didn't_ give up or run out of time.  I never even had to find my way through the whole thing, because Toby was in trouble.  I had to jump and save him and when I did that it broke into pieces.  That was when I was brought to face Jareth one last time."

            "You defeated it," Didymus interjected.

            "So then why is it still here?  Wouldn't it just go back to whatever it was before I came once it was done with me?"

            "Uhhh… hypothetically?  Yes.  Incidentally… no."

            "What do you mean?"

            "What he means," Hoggle spoke up, "is that Jareth wouldn't let it be changed back.  He kept it as it was."

            Before Sarah could open her mouth Didymus continued.  "In the beginning, I am told, it _was_ just huge floating blocks of stone.  His Majesty was said to spend much time alone in there, wandering and contemplating.  Little by little, some of the pieces began to reattach themselves, enough so that many of the pathways through the room are once again crossable.  But I somehow doubt that he will ever allow the room to fully regenerate itself."

            "But… _why_?" Sarah asked incredulously, "Why just leave it?"  She looked at the others in consternation.

            Hoggle stood and moved to stand just over her shoulder.  "Well, it _was _the first time he was ever defeated by a human you know."  The others nodded in agreement.  "Maybe he keeps that room as a reminder, you know, not to be too sure of oneself.  Or…" he didn't finish.

            Sarah turned.  "Or what?"

            Hoggle patted her arm affectionately.  "Well… no one knows fer sure what His Majesty's reasons are.  Maybe the answers you seek will become clear soon."

            Something in his words lodged themselves in Sarah's mind.

            "You know," Sir Didymus piped up, "come to think of it, I can't even _remember_ what that room used to be!"

            Having one question answered seemed to just bring up more questions in its place and so Sarah just let it drop.  She let her thoughts center elsewhere, and yet her mind continued to worry at it the way she used to watch Merlin worry at a bone.  The one thing that finally succeeded in fully distracting her was Jareth's arrival toward mid-afternoon.

            They were all sitting or leaning much as they had the previous day, carrying on an easy enough conversation when Sarah's stomach growled loudly.  Everyone turned to look.  She stifled a giggle with her hands, her face reddening.

            "Sawah growl?" Ludo asked.

            "Be careful Ludo," Jareth said gravely to the beast sitting across from him, "I hear Sarah becomes quite violent when she is hungry."

            At Ludo's startled look, Sarah jumped up, scratching him gently behind the ears.  "Don't listen to him Ludo.  He's just kidding, _isn't he_?"  She threw an evil look Jareth's way.

            "Yeah…" Ludo replied in his gravelly voice, "King Jareth _fool_ Ludo!"  He gave his King a toothy grin.

            Settling down once again Sarah admitted, "I _am_ starving though."  

           She'd been too exhausted and unsettled the night before to eat anything.  That morning she'd awoken to a bedside tray full of something that resembled oranges.  They were large and their coloration was odd.  There were veins of pink, reddish-orange, and yellow running through the pulpy insides, making Sarah think of what one might get should they cross an orange with a grapefruit _and_ a lemon.  It was interesting and the certainly _tasted_ like citrus, replenishing Sarah with some much-needed vitamin C.  They were so satisfying that she'd forgotten to eat anything since.  Her appetite had returned though, quite healthy and very insistent.

            "So, what do you guys eat around here, anyway?" she asked.  "Just out of curiosity."

            "It depends," Jareth said.  "There are many things we eat here which you've more than likely never heard of; foods native to the Underground.  Some, of course, would be completely unpalatable to you and I'm sure that many more would, at the least, be an acquired taste.  Interestingly enough, though, with as much dealing as we do with the Aboveworld, my Goblins have come to develop a liking for human food.  They steal it every chance they get, especially alcohol.  Wine, beer – they can't seem to get enough of the stuff."

            Sarah laughed.  "Why am I not surprised to hear that?"

            Ludo's ears pricked up.  "Eat now?" he asked hopefully.  The other two looked at their King with similar expressions.

            Jareth grinned.  "I think we should let Sarah provide the meal."

            "HUH?" Sarah's mouth dropped open.  "How am I going to do that?"

            "Here, I'll show you.  Hold out your hand."  He sat next to her and put his hand lightly over her upturned palm.  "Think of something from your world that you would like to eat right now.  Try to imagine every detail about it, as well as anything that might be needed to go along with this meal."

            She gave a small laugh.  "Okay…"  She shut her eyes for a moment, thinking, and then opened them.  "Okay," she said again, "I've got it.  I hope you like Italian."

            "I've never had one."

            She opened her mouth and quickly shut it, shaking her head.  _'Never mind…'_

            Jareth continued, "This will be a learning experience for all of us.  Now keep it in your mind," he instructed.

            He moved his hand back from hers slowly and Sarah felt a slight pulling in her hand.  She looked down and just as if they'd plunged their hands into soapy water there was now a bubble stretching from his skin to hers.  She knew better by now, though, and wasn't surprised to see it turn into another crystal.  They held it lightly between them.

            "Pull your hand back slowly," Jareth said, doing the same himself.  The thing floated in mid-air for a second and then sank to the ground at the center of the circle.  When it touched the grass, it popped, sending out a bright light, blinding them all.  Sarah shielded her eyes with her hands but the light lasted only a second.  When it was gone a large red and white checkered cloth lay spread out beneath them all.  There were five paper plates and napkins just like she'd imagined, five glasses filled with a dark fizzing drink.  But it was the large cardboard box that was the center of Sarah's attention.  Her mouth watered as she carefully lifted the lid.

            "Pizza!" she exclaimed proudly, looking up.  She quickly distributed the food and demonstrated how it was customarily eaten.  They quickly dug in.

            "Interesting food," Jareth commented and the others nodded their agreement.

            Didymus picked up his glass, inspecting its contents closely.  "I do say, what _is_ this strange concoction?  It tickles my nose!"  His whiskers shook and his eyes crossed as he wiggled his snout, trying to find the source of the strange sensation.

            Sarah giggled.  "That's Coke.  The carbonation, the bubbles that is, that's what makes it fizzy.  It goes really good with pizza."

            "I suppose you _are_ correct about that," the small knight admitted.

            She looked around.  They all seemed to be enjoying the pizza – it was disappearing quickly.  Poor Ludo was having trouble getting a grip on the glass, so small in his large paws, so Jareth tapped the side of it causing it to grow to his size.  He grunted his thanks as he drank.  Just then a monstrous belch ripped its way out of his mouth.  Everyone gasped, including Ludo himself.

            "I suppose those bubbles are to blame again?" Didymus queried as they all laughed.  

            Ludo's loud guffaws joined in.  "Ludo make funny noise!"

            It struck Sarah how strange it was to be sitting in the middle of the Labyrinth with friends who were… nothing short of legends come to life, and doing something as mundane as eating pizza and drinking soda.  "So how… did you do that anyway?" she asked finally.

            Jareth looked up from the slice of pizza he was struggling with.  It just didn't seem to want to let go of the rest of the pie.  "Well, _I _didn't come up with this."

            "Yeah, I know, but how did you… or… how did I…"

            "You might be surprised to find what you can do Sarah," he ventured mysteriously.  He thought now would be okay to tell her some about the magic that lay within her, but he didn't want to give away too much too soon.

            "…what?  _I_ can do magic too?"

            "Not exactly.  I've come to find that the Labyrinth may have given you something, some little magical kick, you might say.  It's hard to say how much or of what kind, especially with you being untrained and all.  That is why we had to join forces, if you will.  But with the right training… who knows?"

            "Wow," was all Sarah could think of to say.  "I like the sound of that."

---

            Later Jareth walked Sarah back to her room.  They chatted amicably and he lingered in her doorway, not really wanting to leave just yet.  They talked about some of the differences between their worlds, what she could expect and what might take some getting used to.

            "So you're finding that everything meets your needs sufficiently, right?"

            "Yeah, everything's great," Sarah replied.

            "Okay," he said, and then grew quiet.

            Sarah began to sense that Jareth had something on his mind, accounting for his hanging around for no apparent reason.  "Jareth?"

            He looked up, shaken from his thoughts.  "Yes?"

            "Is there something you wanted to say?"

            He sighed, leaning against the doorframe.  "I just want to make sure you're going to be okay.  After last night…" he left off, unknowingly using the exact same phrase he'd used that morning.

            She nodded her head, walking over to where he stood, crossing her arms over her chest.  "I think I'll be okay, you know?  I was thinking about it and I figure it was just from all of the stress of the past few days."  She ducked her head a little.  Standing so close made her feel oddly shy around him and she found she was having a hard time looking him in the eye.  She could feel his gaze burning into her which just made it that much harder for her to look up.  She haltingly cleared her throat.  "Thanks for your concern though."

            She jumped when his hand snaked out and brushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear.  She smiled up at him.

            "Sleep well Sarah."

            After shutting the door, he walked down the hall, away from her light, her warmth.  The rest of the world seemed cold and brittle by comparison.  He smiled, thinking of her nervous reaction to his touch, and the look on her face.

            Perhaps tonight _would_ be better.

                  


	24. Letting Go

A.N. – Let me quickly take a moment and say, "Thank goodness for Lord of the Rings!"  This is one of those chapters I've had planned out in my head since this story was in its early stages.  Of course, once I finally got to it I could not, for the life of me, get my butt into a seat long enough to write it out.  Every time I got the chance, external things would get to me and I would lose all motivation.  (I'll talk more on that in just a moment.)  Then, last week, Return of the King came out.  We all had tickets to see the midnight showing on opening day and guess who got picked to go and save a place in line.  That's right – me.  I was in line, by myself, from 4:30 till 7:30, when my brother and stepbrother got there, and then until 9:00, when they let us in to spend the last three hours in the theater.  Over seven hours with nothing to do… a perfect opportunity to get the next chapter written!  And boy did I write!  I pretty much wrote, read, and rewrote over those seven hours.  It was slow at first but then I was writing so fast my hands couldn't keep up.  Needless to say they were shaking and cramping up by the end, but I had it done.  And I was proud of myself – I almost made it into two chapters because it took so many more pages than my usual chapters take.  And to top it all off – the movie was MIND BLOWING!!!  I loved it.  

~ Now, I know you are all saying, 'Yeah but the movie came out 10 days ago!'  Yes…I've got no excuse for that.  Well, only that it's winter break and I've got three weeks off of work, so I haven't been at home much.  But still, I never meant for so much time to go by, so feel free to throw things at me.  I mean it, cookies, chocolate, whatever you want. ^_^

Okay, one more thing.  I know you want to get onto the story, and I usually don't spend so much time on author's notes, but I wanted to expand a little on what I was talking about before.  The reason I've had so much trouble feeling motivated to write lately has to do with my little sister.  We're really close.  See, she's been having some problems lately, slightly similar to those of Sarah in the story.  Not exactly the same, but she was cutting for a while, among other things.  She's pretty open about it, and has read some of my story, not minding what it's about.  I think that, well, to analyze my reasons for taking this particular path with the story, I was maybe searching for a way to express my own reactions to what's been going on, and to understand it a little better.  I guess I also wanted to share what I've learned.  Ironically, things have happened recently, which have led to my sister being taken to a temporary group home a few hours away.  She's been gone for a few months and I won't get to see her until next spring.  I really miss her and it really threw me for a loop, how things have turned out.  It sure makes it hard, sometimes, to put things into perspective and to keep writing.  But I've thought a lot lately about how strong she is, despite everything, and how she never gives up.  She's kind of been an inspiration for this story, and so I've decided to dedicate it to her.

**~ For Kelly ~**

**Ch. 24 – **Letting Go

_I've faced the fathoms in your deep **/** withstood the suitors quiet siege **/** pulled down the heavens just to please you **/** appease you…_

            It wasn't.  Jareth awoke to the same ear-shattering screams, transported to Sarah's room again, to the same sight of her, writhing in bed, clutching at the sheets as if her very life depended on it.  Again, upon opening her eyes, it took her a few moments to realize where she was.  Again the half intelligible words spilled out, something about the institution, hallways and shadows… and needles.  There were always needles.

            Sarah kept saying it was nothing, once it was over, but Jareth was beginning to get really worried.  He had hoped that once he'd gotten her away from that place, once she'd had a few days rest and change of scenery, that she'd be able to put it all behind her.  But it didn't seem like this was to be the case.

            'What had they done to her?' he wondered every time he looked into her haunted eyes.  What had they done, in this place that was _supposed_ to be helping people, to make her so that she could no longer even attain normalcy?

            As the days stretched on, and the sleepless nights dragged by, Sarah's face grew pale and she seemed to shrink within herself.  There was a slight tremor in her movements and though she kept a chipper attitude and a ready smile, the mere act of smiling seemed to exhaust her.  Jareth knew she was keeping up appearances, and even as he worried, part of him was amazed and warmed by her compassion in not wanting her friends to worry even though she suffered, her bravery in facing all of this the way she was, and even her stubbornness, for she still denied that anything was really wrong, and became irritated if he pushed too much.

            He was also becoming increasingly tempted to pay another visit to Fairhaven.  He was starting to think they'd gotten off _way_ too easily and he regretted not knowing more than he did.  It made him feel helpless.  And helplessness was _not_ something the Goblin King was accustomed to feeling.

---

            Jareth strode through the hallways of his castle, ignoring the incessant chatter of the goblins underfoot.  As he entered his throne room he saw Sir Didymus overseeing a group cleaning up after some minor brawl, most likely, from the look of things having to do with food.  He briefly thought again, to himself, how glad he was that he'd asked the diminutive knight to oversee things in his absence, and even better that he'd stayed on even after his return, as second in command.  It kept Jareth from having to deal with some of the messier aspects of the job, and no doubt those of the more mischievous of his goblins too were thankful to have a 'middle man' to deal with.  It kept them many a time from ending up in the bog as quickly as they did when they had to directly face their king's wrath.

            Motioning to Sir Didymus, Jareth took his seat. 

            "Yes your Majesty?" Didymus asked as he drew near, blinking in a curious manner.

            "I wanted to inquire after the Lady Sarah's condition.  How is she this morning?"

            The droop in Didymus' shoulders was minute, but Jareth caught it nonetheless.  His stomach clenched as he waited for the bad news.

            "Well," he began with a halfhearted brightness, "Ehhh… she doesn't seem to be improving Sir.  She seems…distracted, like she's somewhere else.  She barely touched her breakfast.  She pretended to, mind you, but I could tell that she just moved everything around a little.  And…" he hesitated.

            "Go on."

            Didymus' eyebrows went up and down as he contemplated his words.  "She seems…somehow smaller.  She just sits with her knees drawn up, hugging herself protectively.  It's odd."

            "I know of what you speak," Jareth said grimly.  "Where is she now?"

            "I escorted her outside, and left her at the outskirts of the mead.  She said she wanted to sit in the sun a while."

            Jareth barely stayed to hear the end of this before he turned and strode toward the entrance leading to the Goblin City.

            "Hoggle is with her!" he heard Didymus call out from behind him as he went.  He quickly made his way through the bustling town, taking the shortest route until he came to the edge of the tall grasses.  He then walked south along its borders until at last he spotted Sarah's brown/black tresses.  Hoggle hovered over her, patting her shoulder in a nervously affectionate manner.  Seeing Jareth approach, he stood back, nodding curtly.  Sarah looked up.

            She smiled, rolling her eyes and before Jareth could say anything said, "It's _alright_, I'm fine."

            His question answered, he merely sat down next to her and looked at her, his eyes saying everything.

            "What?" she asked defensively, "I _am_."

            Her drawn face and red-rimmed eyes belied her claim but he didn't feel it would solve anything to argue about it, especially when he knew as little as he did.  Instead he lightly rubbed her sun warmed back and said, "I know."

            They sat and talked quietly, reveling in the quiet and the feeling of the sun shining down on them.  Sarah was telling him a story of when Toby was a baby, but had paused.  Somewhere over the previous hour she'd begun leaning on him, which he was glad for, except that it hid her face from him.  The pause grew, stretched into full-blown silence.

            "Sarah?" Jareth said softly.

            "Huh?" she sat up, blinking.  "Oh, sorry.  I guess I nodded off."

            "Do you want to go inside?"

            "No, I like it here.  It's nice, peaceful."  After a second she went on with her story.

            A little while later Jareth was describing some of the other kingdoms when he noticed her head drooping.  Straining his head, he could see her eyes fluttering as she struggled to keep awake.  When he left off talking she again woke fully and looked up.

            "I'm f," she began.

            "Sarah, you need to sleep.  You've been missing so much lately."

            "I know," she admitted regretfully, "but I'm enjoying this so much right now.  You know, being here with you, it's so nice…"

            "Then sleep here.  Lean on me and close your eyes, I don't mind.  Just sleep, please!"

            She smiled ruefully at him.  "I suppose a little nap wouldn't hurt.  If you insist – you _are_ pretty comfy, you know."  She complied, finally, laying her head on his shoulder.  He looked down, smoothing back her hair.

            "Sleep love, knowing I'll be right here to keep anything from happing to you.  You're safe."

            She smiled but didn't open her eyes.  Within seconds she was asleep.  

            He summoned up a nice mossy rock to lean against, noticing that Hoggle was long gone.  He'd forgotten about the dwarf but was glad to have this time alone with Sarah, even if she _did_ sleep through most of it.

            She was so tired that after only ten minutes or so she lost her balance and began to slide, and yet she didn't wake.  Jareth adjusted his position and allowed her to slide down so that he was cradling her.  He hunched over so that the sun wouldn't hit her eyes, studying her features.  He longed to run his fingers over her eyes and cheeks and lips but refrained.  He still didn't really know where he stood with her.

            It hadn't even been half an hour yet when Sarah woke with a start, her eyes flying open, her arms flailing as she struggled to sit up.  Once Jareth had helped her into a sitting position she grew quiet, staring down at her lap with a daze expression.  At least there had been no screaming this time.

            "Sarah?"

            "It's nothing," she said quickly, "I just remembered something."

            "What?" he inquired.

            "No, what I mean is that I _thought_… I forgot something, but I remember now that I … didn't."  She smiled at him but they both knew she was lying.

---

            Jareth paced the solarium that night.  He hadn't bothered going to bed, instead staying up and waiting for the screams he knew must come sooner or later.  As he paced he racked his brain for some clue as to what he could do.  There had to be _something_. 

            He passed under the archway that led to the large balcony and put his hands on the stone rail, staring up at the moon and stars.  They stared back at him, seeming so cold in their silence.  He finally decided that he was going to have to talk with Sarah in the morning.  He'd been letting it go, for her sake, but she was going to have to face things sooner or later.  Even she couldn't deny any longer that something was definitely wrong.

            He stood there, pondering how he would broach the subject, when he heard soft footsteps on the stone floor behind him.  He turned.

            Sarah, it seemed, had decided to save him the trouble.  She came out of the darkness, her pale skin almost glowing in the moonlight.  Her eyes, hooded by her dark hair, seemed miles deep and her smile was calm, if not completely steady.

            "Hi," she said softly.

            "You should be trying to get some sleep," he ventured.  

            She snorted.  "Sleep…"

            He nodded, understanding.  Nothing more needed to be said to convey her meaning.

            "I thought…that maybe we should talk."

            He nodded, feeling slightly apprehensive, but hadn't he just been saying the very same himself just a moment ago?  Yes… but it was something in her voice that unsettled him.

            She smiled self-consciously, closing her eyes.  "I know you're going to say 'I told you so' but… I think something is wrong."

            Jareth bit back a reply and let her continue.

            "I don't know, I guess I just kept telling myself that it was some kind of post-traumatic stress thing; that I would work my way through it after a while.  But I think there's something more going on here."

            Jareth nodded again, leaning against the ledge.  He patted the spot next to him, and she came willingly.  They stood there together for a few minutes, in a companionable silence, each lost in thought.  Finally, Sarah shifted her head, moving her gaze from the space in front of her feet to a spot in front of his.

            "Sometimes," she began slowly, "a person will find themselves in a place where they know they need help.  They need to be in a place where they need to…step out of their lives for a while and just _get_ help, to recover."  She looked up at him.  "Jareth, I _did _need help."

            He shook his head, but she went on.  "I _did_.  I was hurting myself.  But you need to listen to me.  What I'm saying is, there was help for me elsewhere.  I don't think that the institution was the answer.  I could have just stayed in therapy, found someone I could better trust and confide in, or else I could have joined  some kind of support group or something.  There were other answers."

            "Then why did they make you go there?"

            "A number of things, really.  They found out about my…problem.  They also thought that I was crazy because I tried to explain to them about my last experience here.  I never should have tried to tell them.  The thing was, they must have overheard me talking to Hoggle or Didymus or Ludo through my mirror or something because they started asking questions.  I tried so hard to make them understand…"  She gave another rueful smile.  "That _and_ I attacked Karen."

            "You did?!"

            "Well, I didn't really _attack_ her.  That's what _she_ said.  I just pushed her and believe me, she had it coming."  She paused, grew thoughtful.  "Anyway, they shipped me out that night.  And so I went."  She paused again, thinking.  "I know that when people need that kind of help, then an institution is the answer.  And hopefully it will be one with its priorities straight," she added with a short laugh.  "But when they don't, then…it's just a bad situation all around."  

            She seemed to be struggling for the right words.  Her throat tightened, as if the very words were lodged there.  Finally they came, somewhat forcefully, "I **_know_** my mind was okay when I went in.  I _know_I wasn't _crazy_.  I know I really came here – you know it and I know it," she said in a rush.  "But now…"  She looked up at the sky, pain crossing her features.  Her voice cracked as she spoke.

            "_My head just feels like it's…**broken** inside…"_

            Neither could say anything, but in the heavy silence he pulled her close.  Her skin was chilled and he rubbed her arm, trying to keep her warm.  Without saying anything he wanted to convey to her that he was there for whatever comfort she needed.  What she had just confided in him was very meaningful, and he felt very close to her at that moment, and so wasn't prepared for her next words.

            "I think I'm going to have to leave here."

            His head snapped up.  "What are you talking about?" he asked, sharper than he'd meant to be.

            She grimaced.  "I don't _want_ to, but I think I need to.  I need to clear my head up and I don't think that'll happen here."

            "Is it the goblins?  I can have them cleared out of the castle for as long as you need!"

            She shook her head.

            "The castle itself?  Is that the problem?"

            "No."

            He looked down.  "Is it me?"  He seemed afraid to ask.

            "No!  You're…you're my lifesaver!  I'm afraid to even think of where I'd be right now without you!"

            "Then why?!"

            "I just…"  She didn't finish.

            "Where will you go?"

            She turned slowly, looking out over the ledge.  "Out there…  Don't ask me why but I feel like I need to go to the woods.  It's like they're calling to me.  As if there I can find what part of me is missing."  She looked at him.  "I need to do this on my own."

            He stared at her pleading eyes, begging him to understand.  But he just couldn't, he couldn't give her what she wanted.

            "No."

            "What?!" she asked incredulously.

            "No, I don't think it's a good idea.  To leave right now, in your state of mind…"  Lingering doubts about what he was doing faded with each word, and as he spoke he became more and more convinced that he was right.  "It could be dangerous for you.  No, leaving isn't the answer."

            "You can't…tell me I can't go," she spluttered.  "You don't _own_ me!"  She backed up.

            He hated doing this, and yet, at the same time he wanted to grab both her arms and shake the sense back into her.  "Maybe not, but you _did_ wish yourself away to me.  You wished yourself into my care."  He steeled his expression; he wouldn't back down now.

            She stared at him, hard.  So long did her eyes search his face that he began to feel his thoughts come undone.  When he said nothing, she snapped, "I can't _believe_ you're playing that card!  I thought we were past that."  He remained quiet and she let out a short, angry breath of air.  "Is that what this is, then?  Are we just back to this _game_ again?"

            His eyes had left hers momentarily but now they snapped back, blazing.  "It was _never_ a game to me!  Never!!  You could never understand that!"  He stopped, trying to get control of his anger.  "Listen, I'm _not_ trying to take your control away, but remember that I _am_ still King here."

            "So what'll you do if I don't listen?  Throw me in a dungeon?"

            He sighed heavily.  "Sarah, don't test me."  He turned his back, prepared to leave.  "You're _not_ going."

            "I am."

            He jerked to a stop, not daring to turn around.  "You **_have_** my order," he said through gritted teeth, "I'm warning you now – you'd do **_well_ **to heed it."

            "I understand," was the answer she gave at long length.  He sighed silently with relief, took another step.  Her voice, barely more than a whisper, nevertheless halted him.

            "Even so."

            He stormed away, slamming the inner doors behind him, making her jump.

_All you have to do **/** is run away and steal yourself from me **/** become a mystery to gaze into **/**_

_you're so cruel **/** in all you do **/** but still I believe **/** I believe you_

---

            By the next morning Jareth was still slamming around his castle.  He hadn't talked to Sarah since the previous evening, and truth be told, he didn't trust himself to be talking with her just yet.  He was still very angry.  He needed to figure out what to do, he needed some advice.

---

            "Whoo-whoo!" the Bird-hat warbled.  "Why we have to get up so early, Senior?"

            "Hmmm," his faithful companion grumbled.  "Watch your complaining young thing!  When the Master calls, you come, no questions asked!"

            "Okay, okay, no nee-eed to take offense!  I was just wondering."  His beady eyes rolled around, looking for some morning snack he could snatch out of the air.  "So, His Majesty seeks your weesdom, eh?  What you t'ink?  Girl problem, huh?"

            "Quiet!" the Wiseman muttered out the side of his mouth.  "He draws near."  He stood, smiling to welcome his king, adding at the last moment, "Not a word, d'ya hear?"

            The Bird-hat said nothing until he was jostled roughly.  "Okay, okay," he whined.  Satisfied, the Wiseman opened his mouth to greet Jareth.  "Whatever you say boss," the Bird-hat said under his breath.  The Wiseman gave a loud 'Harrumph' and rolled his eyes heavenward.  It never failed.

            They exchanged greetings and the Wiseman invited Jareth to have a seat, which he took, only to end up jumping back up within minutes to pace back and forth across the clearing.  All the while he explained what had been going on with Sarah, what had happened to her, and what was still happening to her.  

            "She's being _so_ unreasonable!" he finally finished.  "Your wisdom is known in these parts, as well as throughout the seven kingdoms.  What is your advice?"

            The Wiseman stroked his long, white whiskers.  "You flatter me, young Highness.  This girl, I remember her well.  She's a strong willed one, she is.  From what you've told me, it sounds like you've got your hands full."

            "I'm inclined to agree with you."

            "It seems that those people took control of her life, forced her to face up to reality – but _their _reality.  They took away her ability to set her own boundaries."

            "That sounds about right," Jareth admitted.

            "I think you should let her go."

            "What?!"  This was _not _what he was expecting to hear.

            "Now, don't be too quick to anger young Highness," the Wiseman began, putting his hands up.

            Jareth took a deep breath.  The Wiseman had known him since he was a child and had been his confidante for many long years, after having been one to his parents before him.  He was probably the only one in all seven realms that could get away with calling him 'young'.  He motioned for the older man to go on.

            "Sometimes…in order to get better, you must first get worse.  Sarah needs to find herself and in order to do that she must lose herself completely."  Ignoring the look of confusion Jareth gave him, he continued.  "She's got to throw reality away in order to find a balance once again.  She'll never do that so long as she's around people she cares about, for to do this requires living entirely for oneself.  Only then can she reset her own boundaries and live with and for the rest of you.  Believe me, it's the hard way because it's the only way."

            Jareth's heart was heavy.  He knew what he must do.  "Very well.  You've never led me astray before.  I'll trust you in this one too."

            He turned to leave and then turned back to thank the old man, only to find him asleep.  The Bird-hat blinked at him knowingly.

            "Tell him thank-you for me."

            "Si, si Senior Majesty," the Bird-hat replied.  Once Jareth had gone, he bent over so that he was peering at the Wiseman upside down.  He put his beak near the man's ear.  "UHHHH… His Majesty say to say: TANK YOU!"

            The old man woke with a start.  "Wha-wha…who?  Oh!" he stuttered, glaring up at the bird on his head.

            Ignoring this, the Bird-hat continued.  "See?  I te-eel you eet was girl problems!"

---

            Jareth made his way back to his throne room.  "Where's Sarah?" he asked Sir Didymus.

            "She is in the solarium," Didymus replied carefully.

---

            The door leading into the large glass topped room was open, and Jareth could see Sarah through it.  She was out on the balcony, peering down the castle walls.  He swallowed forcefully and crossed the solarium to join her outside.  She turned as he neared.  They needed no words.  The look in her eyes told him that while she was sorry they'd argued, she wasn't about to back down in her resolve.  'That's my strong-willed Sarah,' he couldn't help but think.

            "Jareth I," she began.

            "Shhhhh," he whispered, moving swiftly to her side.  "Do what you have to do."

            Her eyes widened as she took this in.  "Do you mean it?"

            He nodded.  "I still don't _like_ it.  You just got here and now you're going to leave.  But if it's something you need to do, then I support that."

            She looked down.  "Thank you," she replied.  "It's just for a little while.  Your support means a lot to me.  I _have_ to do this – I have to connect to this world, to the living, breathing part of it.  I have to know I'm really here, because every time I sleep I dream that I'm still back in Fairhaven.  I'm so afraid that somehow I'm really still there and I only _dreamed_ I'm here.  I'm so afraid that I'm going to wake up for real and be there."

            "But _I_ know you're here."

            They were standing very close and when she spoke she didn't need to do so very loudly.  "I know and so do I, when I'm awake.  But I'm still afraid… of that time when I'm asleep."

            She was quiet for a really long time.  Jareth waited, sensing some revelation.  Finally it came.

            "If I ever wake up and I'm back there…I swear I'll kill myself."

            Jareth crushed her to himself.  "Don't say that!" he cried.  "Damn it Sarah, promise me that if you ever find yourself lost you'll call to me.  Bring me to you before you do anything rash, at least let me try to help you.  Promise me that!"

            She nodded against his shoulder.  "I promise."

            They made their way slowly to the front of the castle.  He'd suggested she pack some things to take and she'd gone willingly with him to her room, but upon entering she just stared quietly and said there was nothing she could bring that would be of any use to her.  They walked down the front steps.  The courtyard was blessedly empty.

            "I'll transport you there."

            "No…thank you but I'd rather walk."

            "Alright," he relented.

            They stopped and looked at each other.  This was so hard.

            "Come back to me soon, Sarah," he whispered.

            "I will."

            He hesitated, then leaned forward to place a soft, very chaste kiss on her lips.  "Take it with you.  To keep you warm," he added.

            She smiled then, the first genuine smile to cross her features in days.  "Thanks."

            She put her hand up to wave, facing him as she backed away slowly.  "This isn't good-bye," she reminded him before turning.  

            He watched her get smaller and smaller until he could no longer see anything at all.  He turned back to his castle.  It had never seemed so dark and bleak before.

_I've faced the fathoms in your deep **/** withstood the suitors quiet siege **/** pulled down the heavens just to please you…_

_to hold the flower I can't keep…_

**_~_**_*Lyrics taken from **Behold! The Night Mare**, by the Smashing Pumpkins* **~**_****


	25. To Lose Oneself Completely

**A.N. – **Sorry, sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to take so long with this.  I've really got no excuse, so I won't waste your time with one.  : )  Anyway, I just wanted to say that I've made a few changes to the story line.  I went back over every chapter and fixed little mistakes, occasionally changing a little dialogue here and there.  The biggest changes occur in chapter **9**, I believe.  I decided, at the last minute of course, that there was no reason to keep the institution so gender-segregated.  They don't seem to do that as much as they once did, at least I don't think.  I could be wrong, but anyway, I patched up a few things and now I feel a little better about the whole story.

**Ch. 25** – To Lose Oneself Completely…

            _It was mid-morning and something was disturbing Tanzle's sleep.  No, not something, someone.  She could tell by the way her leaf-bed, nestled high up in the crook of the old oak tree, was so violently shaken.  She mumbled something unintelligible, even to her, and rolled over, pulling a corner of the leaf down over her thimble-sized head.  Not now…  Her leaf was given another good wrench and she swore as she heard some of the webbing, that was holding her leaf-bed securely in place, give way.  Muttering, she felt about for her head-topper._

_            "This better be good, Littlesky!" Tanzle called out as she stood up and cautiously stretched out her wings, letting the warm, morning breeze dry the 'sleep' from them.  Good spider's web was so hard to find these days, and even harder to find without a very nasty, very hungry spider waiting in the middle._

_            Just as Tanzle was about to hop-skip down to a lower branch to look for her tormentor, a bright blue face popped down from overhead.  "How you know was me?"_

_            "Is always you!" Tanzle said somewhat sourly.  She was definitely not a morning-fairy.  "Anyway, what so important?"_

_            (It's interesting to note that most, but not all, fairies use a slightly unusual dialect when speaking.  Some, out of necessity, and some out of regular exposure to others outside their race, have learned to speak the 'proper' tongue, most notably the King and Queen, as well as other Fairy Dignitaries.  It is known, however, that when amongst their own kind, even these tend to slip back into their own, more familiar speaking habits.  Not much more is known about this peculiarity, though, for fairies tend not to speak much at all to 'Big Things', and especially not to 'nasty-bad weed-pullers' {dwarves}.)_

_            "I got something good-good to show you," Littlesky warbled in her uncrushable spirit._

_            "What this time, huh?  You always got something good-good to show me.  What?  Scare 'nother bushy-tail into scare-sleep?  'Nother goblin got head stuck in a hidey-hole?"_

_            "Nope!  Even better.  Come see!  Come see!"_

_            Slightly won over by her friend's enthusiasm, but still a bit grumbly, Tanzle followed.  The two fairies took to flight, weaving in and out of bushes and trees, zipping over and under branches and gnarled limbs.  Tanzle was beginning to wonder just where her friend was taking her when Littlesky suddenly halted and held out a hand to block her path.  She slowed and cautiously crept forward to see what lay beyond the leafy outcrop in front of her.  Littlesky held back a few leaves and Tanzle saw a movement behind them, somewhere below, on the ground.  She leaned farther, her gossamer wings fluttering a little with the effort.  She saw long, brown hair, caught by a patch of sunlight, slightly pale arms, and large brown eyes that darted this way and that.  The being moved hesitantly, looking lost._

_            "So?  Is human.  Probably trying to find castle or something."_

            "No, is going in wrong direction!  Not moving fast – maybe looking for snug-safe sleepy-place?"  Littlesky looked hopeful.

_            "Why would?  Ever human made sleepy-place here before?"_

_            "No, but…"_

_            Suddenly the human below them turned and looked in their direction.  They quickly flew away, only to follow once more at a safe distance._

---

            Sarah had been walking all morning when she'd suddenly gotten the feeling that she was being watched.  She hadn't been very surprised and didn't worry much, for the whole forest seemed to teem with life around her.  She ignored whatever it was and went on.  Nothing outright bothered her during the course of the day, and at times she forgot about it all together.  Still, something flittered at the edges of her sight, always darting out of view when she turned to look.  She supposed it was bothersome but she had bigger problems to worry about.  

            She was beginning to have misgivings about this whole… mission…thing.  What was it anyway?  She had been so sure just the day before, mere hours before, in fact, that this was what she _had_ to do.  That part hadn't changed; she still knew that she couldn't stay in that castle, not if she wanted to be rid of these dreams once and for all.  Not if she wanted to truly _know_ where she was, to be sure of her surroundings.  But now that she was actually doing it, now that she had set off for her forest, and had reached it… and wasn't exactly sure _where _she was going, or what she might be trying to find, the doubts had begun to creep in.  Questioning where it was she was trying to get to, led to questioning why she was trying to get there.  Which of course let to, _Where is there? _ When she couldn't answer that one she began to wonder if she'd made a mistake.

            But _no! _she couldn't have made a mistake because she still had that problem to deal with, one that definitely could not be ignored.  No, she needed to come out here, on her own, in order to find some answers.  Truth be told, she really needed to learn to stop questioning things all of the time, she always succeeded in doing nothing but psyching herself out.  She could be her own worst enemy at times.

            What she was hoping would happen, was that she'd come out here and be able to clear her head.  She'd always loved camping as a kid because she loved the woods and nature, loved to sit all alone in its big gaping quiet.  It was the best place for dreaming.  She was hoping that once she got out here, she'd find that same 'happy place' and she'd be able to sit and listen to what the forest was telling her.  She needed some wisdom from the ancient trees that surrounded her, even if that wisdom simply came from staring up at them until things became clear in her own mind.  She was really hoping that the dreams would stop once all the noise in her head stopped, once things came into focus again.  But she was prepared for the fact that them might torment her even out here.  That was okay too, for the felt that alone, she could truly face them.  

            She shook her head at this thought.  It wasn't that she didn't want his help.  She hadn't been lying before when she'd told Jareth that he'd saved her life in a very real way.  Not that she'd been in mortal danger just then, but who knew how far things might go?  She knew enough from what she'd seen not to trust those doctors within an inch of her life, she'd seen enough of their "methods", heard enough stories.  But even beyond them, she knew she couldn't have gone on for very much longer without some serious long-term damage.  _Maddy_… she'd been a casualty, and Sarah was pretty sure she hadn't been the first in Fairhaven's long history either.  And had she gotten out, perhaps years later, or even one or two, a shell of herself, broken and hollow, what kind of life could she have hoped for then?  Nothing she'd grown up with would be safe; every once happy experience would be tainted.

            But Jareth had saved her from that future.  And for that she owed him everything.  But this… there wasn't much he could do to help her.  It was in her head, and he couldn't save her from what went on in there.  She knew that what tormented her tormented him too, more so because there was nothing he could do about it.  She hated putting him through that, felt guilty every time she caused a disturbance in the castle by another one of her _nightmares_.  That was partly why she needed to come out here alone.  She needed to be able to face these dreams if they came back, and to scream, and rant and rave, and not try and hide them for fear of causing distress to those she cared about.  Jareth, in all of his well meaning, was always at her side, always looking at her and handling her as if she might break at any moment.  Always asking how bad it was.  She'd always play it down for his sake too, but she knew that by doing that she wasn't facing things like she should be.  And it wouldn't work forever.

            So here she was.  She supposed she was lost; she'd been walking for hours without paying any attention to direction, but she didn't care.  Perhaps it was better this way.  She needed to let go of all safety nets, and one of those was keeping the castle in her mind's map, to run back to every time she scraped a knee, or lost her nerve.  Jareth _had _rescued her, but she knew it was up to her to complete it.  Only she could truly set herself free.  She'd learned that lesson once and she wasn't about to forget it.

            She stopped walking and slowly turned in a circle, taking in her surroundings.  She ignored the leaves that quickly snapped back into place to her left, and instead concentrated on trying to figure out the time of day.  The sun looked substantially lower in the sky than it had, perhaps an hour before.  She berated herself now, for not paying better attention in that wilderness-training class she'd taken last year.  She remembered much, but she knew there was more, more information that would probably have proven useful.  Either way, she knew that the sun was going down, at a seemingly faster rate than it had been traveling all day, which meant that night was falling.  It was just as well; she supposed that she'd gone far enough anyway.  She couldn't see anything beyond the forest, wasn't even sure which direction the castle was in… 

            'Why delay things any further?' she thought.  'Better to just let the madness descend upon me, settle over me like a blanket of snow.'  She smiled inwardly at her sometimes-twisted sense of humor.  'First things first though; I need to find a place to sleep!'

---

            "But WHY NOT?!"

            Jareth circled the diminutive being that stood before him, eyeing him in such a way so as to let him know that he was pushing it with his tone of voice.  Even so Hoggle stood his ground, his arms crossed and his features pulled down into a fierce frown.  He knew that, this particular time, it was not Hoggle's stubbornness that caused him to argue, but rather his concern for his friend.  And as he had been silently voicing many of the same arguments that Hoggle had just used: Sarah was not herself, she could get hurt; he decided to let the defiance slide.  

            "You know, very well, what the answer to that is."

            "Huh?" Hoggle asked darkly, thinking he was being toyed with.

            Jareth sighed, exasperated by the dwarf's constant suspicions, and said, "She _asked _that she not be accompanied!  That is the whole point of this mess – she wants to go off and figure things out by herself.  Now, do you think it's going to do her any good having you along to pester her every minute of the day?"

            He softened somewhat, seeing Hoggle's wounded expression.  He knew it meant a lot to Hoggle that he'd been there for Sarah the first time, helping her through most of the Labyrinth, and that he simply wanted to continue in that mode.  This was as hard for Sarah's other friends as for him, to just let her go off like that, into the unknown.

            "Hoggle, it's not to say that you wouldn't help her out, because you probably would – a great deal.  But do you think that Sarah would have ever come this far if she'd always relied on someone else to help her out of every problem she found herself in?  Do you think she'd be the kind of person she is if she always let someone else do the dirty work for her?  Can you even _see _her allowing someone else to do that?"

            "Puh!  Yeahhhhh, you're probably right," Hoggle groaned.

            "And besides, I'm not just going to leave her entirely to her own wits.  I'm _not_ watching her, exactly, but I am keeping an eye on her.  I don't think she'd begrudge me that.  If she should be in any danger, I'll be able to sense it and I will go to her.  Besides she knows she can call on me if she ever needs help.  _And_ if I lose track of her for too long, I can always fly overhead until I find her.  So don't worry, she's quite safe – I won't let anything happen to her."

            That seemed to pacify the dwarf who merely nodded his head and, giving a short bow, turned to go.  Jareth sat, once again, on his throne, thankful that he was finally left alone.  He'd been planning on summoning a crystal in order to see that everything was alright with Sarah, seeing as this was her first night alone out there in the forest, when Hoggle had come bursting into the room, demanding to know why Sarah had left.  Now that he finally had a moment's peace…

            "Uhhhh… Your Majesty?" Hoggle asked from the far doorway, "Uhh, that is to say… well I noticed that you actually said my name…"

            "What was that _Higgle?_" 

            "_Ohhh, nothing!_" 

            Jareth could hear Hoggle muttering all the way down the hall, and it made him smile.  'Now, where was I?'

---

            Sarah had been about to settle down, where she was, and make a rather uncomfortable bed on the hard ground, when she spied a small hill ahead.  That seemed like a much better place to spend the night.  She felt somewhat better knowing that she was on higher ground, able to see her surroundings and anything that might approach her.  It was a bit of a hike, in the moonlight, but once there, she knew she'd made a good choice.  There was a clearing here and the moon and stars shone brightly, letting her see the extent of her makeshift camp.  There was also an overgrowth of deeply green, very soft grass that would make an excellent bed, much better than the roots and dirt she'd left behind.  She laid her weary body down, stretching out fully, now noticing how tired she really was.  It hadn't caught up with her until now.  She supposed she hadn't _let _it catch up – she'd barely stopped all day, running on pure adrenaline, as she must have been doing.  But now, she breathed deeply, acknowledging her aching muscles.  She lay on her back and while she waited for sleep to claim her, she studied the many stars above her.  They shined and twinkled much more dazzlingly than she'd ever seen them do back home.  She noticed something even more odd about them – she saw almost all of the same constellations that she'd grown up looking at, except that they were all perfectly backwards.  It was like the night sky was a pane of glass and she was, for the first time, on the other side of it.  Sarah wondered if it were a coincidence, or if it meant something deeper.  She smiled.  Though they may not have been the same exact stars she was used to looking at, they were perhaps cousins of those stars, and lent an odd sense of comfort to her.

            'Hmm…little star cousins,' she thought as her eyes closed sleepily, 'I like the sound of that.'

---

            _"Come on!  Come on!  Is safe now – big thing all snug-safe, goin' to dreamland!"_

_            "Yeah… okay.  Let's get better look!"_

                         


	26. Need To Breathe

Okay I'm a nerd, but I'm back now… enough said.

Wait, that's not right, because I want to answer all of your questions and comments first, before I get on to the story. I really liked getting them. So, here goes… let's see,

**Pandora-Moo**: Thank you so much! I'm glad you are enjoying everything. No I haven't abandoned the story, although if it looked that way back in April, when you wrote your review, and it had been only _2_ months, than you probably figured I _really_ abandoned it this time! But I'm here to say that I have not, I'm was just terribly distracted by craziness in my life, as well as good ol' writer's block.

**MiseryLovesCompany**: Thanks, and I hope you enjoy what comes next.

**LabyLvrPhx**: Thanks, I'm glad that you like where it's going. I'm trying my best to not let things get campy or unbelievable, and I'm really glad to hear that others are enjoying this path. I hope it keeps your interest.

**Denial**: Heh, little did you know that a whole seven months would go by before this lazy writer posted again! Gee, I remember when I was all worried because I let two months go by, but don't worry, I'm going to try my best not to let this happen again. Anyway, thanks for what you said in your review.

**Mademoiselle Morte**: Thanks for your review; hope you like this new chapter.

**Neoshipper**: Hey, thanks for your support! And again – sorry! sorry! I'm reading all of these hopeful reviews that were looking forward to the next chapter and that was all the way back in April!!! Oh the guilt!!! Anyway, I hope I won't let it happen again, and I also hope that Sarah's intents will become clear as things progress, but if they don't let me know or e-mail me if you want and I'll try and explain things. There's a lot of interesting insight I've gained from my sister's experiences, and a… song lyric that made me lean in that direction.

**Lady Havok**: Hey, thanks for your review, but I'm confused – what's evil? (Besides my procrastination in updating : P)

**Desdemona321**: Heh, well, we all see how well _that _worked out… but thanks for your kind words.

**roswellwbfan**: Thank you for all of your reviews! I'm glad you like how things are turning out.

**Aquis-S**: Thank you, I'm glad you like it… heh (_blushes_) yeah I kind of did. They're a combination of the Elfquest Preserver-fairy things and the little fairies and creatures from my old Lady Cottington's Pressed Fairy calendar. Actually I believe that I borrowed one character from each of those publications, but I'm giving them my own spin. Good catch, though! Are you an Elfquest fan?

**giggle bitch**: Okay, I will (_shifty eyes_)… thanks for the review, and I _love_ your name!

**Aeris Tiniel Mirime**: Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked that scene.

**baby girl**: Thanks for the review, sorry it took so long!

**Aewnaur**: Oh god, you're probably long gone… well if you aren't thank you for sticking around through all my flakiness. Thank you for your review, I'm glad to see that the feelings I'm trying to convey are getting through. It's nice to know, and I will keep trying to get 'em out quickly.

**Moonjava**: Okay, the more of these I (re)read, the more I start to think that I'm gonna look out my window one of these nights and there'll be a crowd with torches and pitchforks… I'm sorry! I hope that this chapter makes up-, no there's no excuse for the extremely long wait, but I hope it at least helps smooth things over. Anyway, what I mean, is thank you for your kind review, I'm glad you like the feel of the story and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

**SnapeMoment**:-eep! (_see previous comment_) Thank you for your enthusiastic review!

**Nuke F. Montagne**: I hope you didn't hurt yourself! Thanks for your review, and I'm glad you're enjoying the story.

-- and to anybody else who has reviewed whom I haven't answered, either here, or in e-mail, like I used to do before I got to be so damn lazy, thank you so much. I really appreciate them, more than you know. I wish I could make sure and answer everyone but I can't even remember where I left off e-mailing, I just know it was a long time ago. So I will start from here, and try not to miss anyone in the future. Thanks again! And if any of the people I answered above are no longer reading this… I don't blame you for not waiting… it's okay, except that you probably won't see this… so…

…yeah… let's just get on with things, shall we? (_you all: "Duh! That's what we've been saying!!!" brandish various weapons threateningly_)

ok! ok! (_runs off_)

**Ch. 26** – Need To Breathe

_I've got to breathe – I can't keep going under…_

All too soon Sarah found herself in the throes of another dream. This one, though, was new.

_She was walking through the schoolyard. Kids were milling about everywhere, sitting in groups, laughing and pushing each other in their usual nature. Music was playing somewhere and a few girls that Sarah recognized as being on the cheerleading team were dancing for a large group of guys. Probably a bunch of star football players; even from where she stood, Sarah could hear the hoots and hollers, mixed in with a few choice phrases. _

_Sarah meandered further into the crowd, noting that some held textbooks, and that backpacks were slung over more than a few shoulders. For all intents and purposes, it _looked_ like a regular school day; it seemed to Sarah's mind that there was no reason that it shouldn't have been (wasn't it Wednesday, after all? Or was it Thursday?). Something felt wrong though. It took Sarah a minute to put her finger on it, but then something occurred to her. Nobody was making a move to go to class. They were all just sitting there, as they normally wouldn't do in between classes because, at seven and a half minutes per passing period, there just wasn't enough time for that much socializing. It wasn't lunchtime; no one was eating. It looked like everyone came to school just to sit around and hang out with their friends. What had happened to all of the teachers? Why were there no bells, or even cars in the parking lot? she wondered, looking over at the large empty space next to the gym._

_Were they _all_ here for her? Sarah grimaced and stopped dead in her tracks. Where had _that _thought come from?! She tried to reject it outright, but as the seconds ticked by, it worried at her brain until it seemed so logical that there could be no other explanation. She felt her cheeks reddening and hoped that no one would notice. It couldn't be. _

_'No,' she assured herself, 'it's just your overactive paranoia getting the best of you. No one here ever even knew you existed, so why would they do something like this? This has nothing to do with- ' She shook her head. It wasn't like anyone had even known about that. She had never been close enough to anyone for them to notice all the time she had missed. They couldn't know about her stay in that… place, and even if, on some small chance, they did, why would anyone even care? She had to let that time go – it was over and it couldn't affect her anymore. Feeling slightly better, she looked down and saw that she was wearing the soft-soled shoes that she'd received at Fairhaven._

Fantastic.

_'Ok,' she said inwardly, as she glanced around, trying to convince herself that she didn't keep seeing people quickly averting their eyes as she looked their way, 'blend in. That's what you need to do. It'll all be okay, and you'll get through this, somehow. Just don't get noticed.' She remembered to walk again, and tried to look casual about it. She looked around in vain, hoping to at least see someone she shared a class with, some kind soul who might let her sit near them, maybe even join in conversation, but she couldn't see anybody. She spotted a large shady tree not far up ahead, and decided to sit under it. Maybe everyone would forget about her if they couldn't really see her. Maybe she could figure a way out of here. On the way over, she passed by the vending machines, and thirsty, she stopped and dug some change out of her pockets to buy a bottle of water. As she bent down to retrieve her drink, a shadow fell over her._

_"Hey Sarah," a female voice called out. It was one she didn't really recognize. Clutching her drink, she hastily straightened and stepped to one side to let them through, but the girl made no move toward the machine. She simply stood there, smiling._

_"Hey," Sarah replied uncertainly, hoping she didn't sound too unfriendly. She recognized the girl, now, as having performed in last year's Battle of the Bands contest. She'd been the only girl to enter and Sarah had respected her for that. They'd taken home first prize, too._

_The girl brushed one hand through her mid-length sable colored hair. "What have you been up to lately?" she asked, busily fishing through a little purse that hung off one shoulder._

_Sarah choked on her reply, instantly thinking about Fairhaven. "Uh, not much," she got out, finally, hoping that her shoes weren't too obvious. _

_"That's cool. It's been real busy around here lately." She deposited her money and punched in her order. "Did you hear? We got a show lined up!"_

_"Really?"_

_"Yup, we're playing down at Café Paradiso on Saturday night. It's usually an open mic thing, but when we played one of our acoustic songs for them last week, they liked us so much that they're letting us play a whole hour, and if they keep liking us, they might let us play every other week or so."_

_"Oh, that's really cool," Sarah mumbled, not knowing what else to say._

_"You should come and see us play sometime," the girl said, looking up at Sarah from her stooped over position. Down on one knee, she turned away to pull her drink from the machine. It had rolled back and she grimaced as she tugged at the stubborn piece of metal._

_"Yeah…yeah, sure," Sarah replied, a bit more confidently. The metal trapdoor clanged loudly, as the drink was wrested free. Too loudly. Sarah jumped, not knowing why. _

_The girl stayed frozen in her position, facing the vending machine, which Sarah noticed was buzzing and flickering slightly, as if one of its bulbs was about to burn out. Her posture was suddenly tense and Sarah had a sudden sense of foreboding. She took an involuntary step back as the girl turned and looked at her with a knowing look, that was strangely mixed with pity. _

_So long did she stay like that, her eyes searching Sarah's, communicating… something; almost daring Sarah to deny that she knew exactly what they were talking about – but they _weren't_ talking just then! It was unnerving, the unfamiliar, heavily lined eyes boring into hers, the wry curve of smile, the single upturned brow. She felt like a deer caught in the headlights;, like a criminal under a hot lamp, awaiting questioning. And just who did this girl think she was anyway? Looking at her that way, as if waiting it out, as if any second, Sarah was going to break down and confess all of her sins. She didn't owe this girl a damn thing, and besides, she had nothing to explain for, nothing to hide. She turned away. _

_"Sarah, why don't you just let them help you?" came the soft voice behind her._

_Except for that._

_Sarah sucked in a breath and spun around, facing the girl once more, who was again standing. "I don't know what you're talking about," she said, her voice sounding stronger than she felt. Mentally she cursed herself for giving out such an easy shot._

_Out of the corner of her eye, she could see a few others inch closer, though still a ways off. She fought to keep her cool. She would not panic, not like last time. She forced her muscles to relax and started to inch in one direction._

_"Sarah, we just want to help! Fairhaven just-,"_

_"Leave me alone," Sarah muttered roughly, altering her course in order to escape those other students who were joining themselves to this conversation, if it could be called that. She ignored their pleas for her cooperation, ignored the buzzing, flickering machine, its noise growing in intensity. She pushed past the girl, jostling her as she moved to block her path. She picked up speed, expecting to feel a dozen hands on her shoulders and arms but found, as she moved deeper into the throng of students, that no one had moved to chase her. _

_Sarah breathed a sigh of relief, only to realize that every conversation had stopped and now all eyes were on her. It was ridiculous. They _hadn't_ been speaking loudly enough for everyone to hear, and she _hadn't_ pushed the girl hard enough for anyone to think there was a fight going on. So why were they all…_

_Sarah turned around and around, feeling betrayed, for every face bore the same look of judgment. Kids grouped together, staring, waiting to see what she would do. Glances were exchanged and words whispered behind hands. Sarah fought the urge to scream at them, knowing her fear and anger would make her hysterical. Fought and lost._

_"What the hell are you staring at?! Leave me alone!" she shrieked. They didn't back off, but instead fenced her in even more. Sarah felt a surge of pure anger, her fingernail digging into her palms. Her head was pounding and her nerves tensed as if waiting for an attack. They stared, faintly menacing in their stance, nothing more. As if echoing her mood, the buzzing vending machine grew louder and louder, until it began to sound like an overactive Jacob's Ladder. Her own 'fight or flight' instinct clamped down on her brain until that noise was all she could hear. The flickering and flashing caught at the edge of her vision. Her breathing became shaky as she listened, waited… Suddenly it popped loudly, accompanied by a blinding flash of sparks. The shock went through the crowd like a wave and everyone ducked, hiding their eyes, as if someone had shot a gun. _

_The sound hit _Sarah _just like a gunshot and snapped the last thread of her self-control. With another shriek that tore at her throat she barreled through the stunned crowd, knocking down any who got in her way. They gaped at her as she passed as if they thought she'd done it. Maybe she had._

_Either way she was prepared to use it against them. She kept running in the same direction, nearing the edge of the schoolyard and found herself at a short cliff that hadn't ever been there before. She turned, facing the whole lot of them, and somewhat happily noted that they were keeping their distance this time. She opened her mouth to say something threatening when she heard a rumble below her. It sounded like an engine, several of them. She glanced over her shoulder and saw, down below, on a road that seemed to have just sprouted within the last few seconds, vans. Three of them. White. There was a word emblazoned on their sides, but the sunlight glancing off of them made it impossible to read. The road curved and when the first of the vans followed that curve, the word jumped into plain contrast. The word Fairhaven, in bold red lettering._

_They were coming for her… _

"NO-!" Sarah woke up screaming, a cold sweat drenching her face and neck. Her hair clung to her cheeks and temples in damp strands. Her breath came in gasps and she fought to bring it under control. The overwhelming sense of relief she'd had upon taking in her surroundings was quickly overcome by anger and frustration. Why couldn't she be rid of this place?! Why these sinister nightmares? Why was she still haunted by the smell of sterility, by the echoes of screams?

"Why?!" she yelled, vaulting to her feet. Knowing it was a stupid gesture, but badly needing the release, she chucked one shoe and then the other as far as she could throw them. "Why won't you let me be?! Give me back my life, damn you!" She fell to her knees and pounded her fists in the rock and soil, bruising both in the process. "Damn you Fairhaven! Leave me be, or so help me, I _swear_ I'll come back and burn you to the ground!"

Her anger and strength spent, she sat wearily. The slight breeze kissed at her tear-streaked face, cooling it. She breathed heavily, feeling a weight lifted off her shoulders. She looked up at the stars and breathed deeply, filling her lungs in a way she hadn't been able to in some time now. They shined down on her, silently, impassively. The smell of the living forest around her enveloped her, made her a part of itself. She'd felt the difference this time – it had taken less than a second to place herself, to identify her surroundings. It was the slight chill of the night, the soil under her fingers, the sounds of swaying trees and that ever-present touch of magic that permeated everything. Sarah crawled back to the still-warm place where she'd slept and lay down once again, feeling somewhat vindicated.

Let another dream come if it would. She'd be ready.

---

The next time she opened her eyes, it was morning. The varying shades of blue and gray were a welcome change to the shadow and black she'd been surrounded by the night before. And that dream…

Sarah made a face. She didn't want to remember it again. She knew it was something that had to be produced by her subconscious fears. She hated that feeling of helplessness, of the unexpected, but of course, that's why she was being tormented in this way. She needed to work through this – her way, with no one else there to sway her.

She stood, stretching her stiff joints, sore from sleeping on the ground. There was a mist hanging over everything, touching all with an enchantment that swept the last of the cobwebs from Sarah's mind, waking her fully. The forest was hers completely, to get lost in, to explore to her satisfaction. She felt the instinctive urge to turn back, the feeling of responsibility that said, 'You have to watch Toby… You said you'd meet your parents in an hour… You have that history report to finish… You need to be home soon… They're waiting for you… They're depending on you… Don't let them down!' It lay, ever at the back of her mind, always waiting for the right moment to whisper softly to her, to chain her with guilt. This time though, she only listened for a moment before happily kicking it farther back, where she could no longer hear it at all. Guilt free for once, she had no responsibilities, except that which she owed to herself.

Taking a step, she made to brush her hair into some semblance of order with her fingers. She gasped, feeling the pain there, and brought her hands down to inspect them. Seeing the blue-black bruise that was spreading from the heels of both hands to each pinky, she regretted her actions the night before. 'Oh well,' she thought, brushing through her messy tangles once more, 'it's not like it's the first time I've taken my anger out on myself. Isn't that what got me here?' she added dryly.

Once that was done she sheepishly went looking for her shoes. While the release her little meltdown had given her did help last night, and while she'd allowed herself the anger she knew she needed to get out, it all _did_ seem a little silly in the light of day. She chuckled a little as she waded into the dense foliage at the foot of the hill.

Twenty minutes later, no longer amused in the least, she moved on. She'd only been able to find one shoe, which she carried by the laces. She didn't even know why she bothered with it, the other had probably been carried off by some animal or fell down a hole or something.

She walked awhile, the feeling of being watched returning. She was curious as to what it was that was so interested in her progress. It seemed that she kept seeing a bit of pale light a the edge of her perception, but every time she'd turn her head, it would flit away before she could get a good look. It felt rather like someone playing a joke on her, flashing a mirror so the light would catch her eyes.

She absentmindedly began humming as she walked along. She wasn't even really conscious of the action as it was a habit of hers to sing to herself for comfort, but whatever it was that followed heard and became a bit braver in the chase. Eventually Sarah began to realize that she wasn't humming alone. The _something_ echoed her tune, mimicking it with a perfection that had her wondering, amazedly, just who was originating the song. She stopped to listen and sighed when the echo ceased almost as soon as she did. She went on. Maybe it _was_ just an echo.

But no, it was tinnier, and a few octaves higher than her pitch. And… yes, there were two distinct voices accompanying her… no, maybe it was three. Whatever it was, it was beautiful! Except for the darned thing still quit every time she did. She wanted to listen to it – to this enchanted voice of these creatures of the forest.

She was beginning to get the distinct feeling that it _was_ playing with her. That would be part and parcel for this place. You had to play by their rules here, adapt to the whimsy of these inhabitants, even if they never showed themselves. That was just how it was.

But Sarah had a few tricks of her own, and if she remembered correctly, trickery was fair play.

She slowed her pace and made as if she was searching for something, walking around in general circles. She yawned, and eventually lay down in another soft, leafy green patch. She settled onto her side, feigning sleep. Her eyes were closed almost all the way, but her ears were alert, practically swiveling like satellites, on order to pick up any stray sound. There was nothing.

So long did she stay in one position that her mind began to wander. She thought of the Goblin King, waiting back at the castle. She sincerely hoped that she hadn't made him feel badly by leaving. She hoped he hadn't misunderstood her actions. Her mind turned to the kiss he'd given her. Even now the memory of it made her face burn. She mentally shook her head. There _really_ wasn't any reason to make it any big thing. It was very simple, and short. The kind of kiss that would pass between very close friends; caring and nurturing. And yet, Sarah couldn't help the way her breath caught in her throat every time she thought of it. She knew it was foolish, and might only complicate things between them later, but she couldn't help herself. If he only knew about the way she'd felt about him for so long now…

Sarah was so deep in her thoughts that the slight fluttering sound to the right of her head didn't register at first. But when she realized that she'd been right, that there was a definite something, or _somethings_, interested in what she was, it took all of her will not to look. To do so, she knew, would cause them all to disappear again, and it had taken them so _long_ to venture from their hiding places!

She lay as still as she could, hearing more and more fluttering, criss-crossing over her, past her… she kept her breathing even, and then she felt something hesitantly tap her arm.

"Littlesky!" came a plaintive cry, nearly causing Sarah to jump with surprise. "No touch! Big Thing wake up and eat you for sure now!"

Sarah cautiously let the eye nearest to the ground slit open a fraction. She could barely make out tiny feet and tiny gossamer hangings, ending just above them. Whatever it was, which she had a pretty good idea by now, was hidden behind her own big nose.

"Duh!" came the withering reply. "Big Thing all still-quiet again! Sure sleeps lot. 'Sides, don't think is grouchy like other Big Things."

"Oh yeah? How's you know this, huh?"

"Just know, that's all. Littlesky remembers Big Thing from longtime ago… think."

'Huh?!' Sarah thought and almost said aloud. 'How could it remember me?'

The other voice contemplated this. "Couldn't be same big thing."

"Could too! Littlesky remembers it walking around with big scary, cuddly monster."

"Was eating her?"

"No, was friends."

"Hmmmmm… think you been eating berries that sat in sun too long again."

"Have not!" Sarah saw one tiny foot stamp in frustration. "Trust Littlesky. Is nice Big Thing!"

"I'da know," came the still-hesitant reply, and Sarah couldn't contain herself any longer.

Careful to keep her eyes closed, she faintly whispered, "I _am_ a nice Big Thing."

"EEP!" came two tiny shrieks, and with a whir and a slight breeze, they disappeared. Sarah sat up.

"Oh please don't go! I won't hurt you!" She waited in despair, not seeing any movement around her. She released the breath she was holding and prepared to stand.

"You _promises_ not to eat me?"

Sarah looked around, still not seeing anything. There was a slight giggle to her right and, turning her head, she finally saw it, sitting on a particularly large green leaf, in plain sight. She'd missed the tiny girl before because of her greenish hue, which helped her blend in 'till she was almost invisible.

"Ohhhh," Sarah breathed as she looked upon this new discovery. This one was about the same size as the fairy she'd encountered the first time she'd been through the Labyrinth. She had the same delicate wings, though hers were folded downward 'till they oddly resembled a shiny cloak hanging off of her shoulders. But where the other fairy was blonde and had peach colored skin, this one was all in shades of green. Her little bitty dress, ragged at the edges, hung down almost long enough to touch the leaf she kneeled upon. She looked up at Sarah with an inquisitive expression.

"Yes, I promise. I would never hurt you, or any of your friends. I've waited so _long_ to talk to a fairy. That _is_ what you are, isn't it?"

"Yup! My name's Littlesky. And I told you Tanzle!" she called over her shoulder. There was no reply, but Sarah almost thought she heard a slight "Hmmph!" from somewhere.

Sarah smiled. "Well, I guess I'm kinda staying around here for the next few days, so…" she thought of what to say next, "I could really use a friend." She stood and the tiny sprite jumped off the leaf, fluttering up so that they were at eye level.

"Um, okay." She flew a little closer and Sarah put out her hand. Littlesky gently settled in her palm, and Sarah realized that rather than the green she had appeared to be before, she was now a definite bluish color. It was amazing how subtly and fluidly she'd changed, without even being noticed at first.

Her tiny feet tickled Sarah's hand, and Sarah had to resist the urge to scratch. "Well my name's Sarah. Pleased to make your acquaintance Littlesky." She nodded her head as the little fairy curtsied in her palm. Suddenly something occurred to her. "Just please don't bite me this ti-"

Too late.

Littlesky sank her tiny, but sharp, teeth into Sarah's thumb painfully. She hissed in pain and nearly flung the fairy away simply out of reflex. But she was able to stop herself and instead she watched as a bright red drop of blood welled up, balancing in the center of her throbbing thumb.

Because Sarah didn't respond with violence, or at the very least, drop or throw the fairy, like everybody else usually did, Littlesky didn't fly off. She looked up at Sarah, in awe of what she'd done. "Ohhhh… sorry! Much sorry! Was not nice! Poor, poor Big Thing to get fairy-bites! Sorry, sorry!" she finished mournfully. With a tiny wail she flew off somewhere up and over Sarah's head.

'Well I guess that's that,' Sarah thought. 'At least it felt bad this time.' Again she made as if to leave, but the fairy-girl quickly buzzed back and landed on her hand again. She was carrying a large lavender colored flower petal.

"Here, Littlesky make it all better." She expertly wrapped the petal around Sarah's thumb, making a small hole in one end to anchor the stem. It stung a little but seemed to work well enough. As she finished she looked up at Sarah sheepishly. "Sorry, fairy-bites force of habit. Not very often _nice_ Big Thing come along. Most catch us by wings, or try to put us in jars for pet. Ecchh!" She made a face and Sarah had to keep herself from laughing in order not to offend her new friend. "Nasty-bad Weed-pullers 'specially bad! Spray, spray, spray that stingy stuff that burns eyes and makes wings all stinky and too wet to fly. But we fix good! Bite their big ears much! Nasty-bad Weed-pullers not like that so good!"

Sarah did laugh then, remembering her own sense of horror upon seeing Hoggle at his favorite game. She was relieved to see the answering smile she was given in return. "So where are your friends? I would really like to meet them."

Littlesky looked around the glade. "Ummmm…" She looked back to Sarah and shrugged her tiny shoulders.

"Do you think you could get them to come back?"

"Suuuurrreee…" she drawled. "Watch this!" She flew up so that she was once again at Sarah's eye level and, circling her head, she began shouting out names too quickly for Sarah to understand. The gibberish sounded rather like the tinkling of bells but it worked because more tiny faces, all in different shades and hues, and even some that didn't look at all like what Sarah thought a fairy should look like, soon popped into view.

Sarah blinked, trying to bring them all into focus, but they began flying around her, too fast to catch. Faster and faster they went, the light catching the glittering wings and bouncing off so that it looked as if there were a giant sparkling ring circling the small glade. Their giggling voices tinkled in her ears. Every once in a while one or two would buzz really close to her face and Sarah would jump slightly, much to the amusement of all. The squeals that came from every side whenever this happened soon had Sarah near giggling herself.

Littlesky laughed, seeing her confused amusement and went to join them in buzzing closely around Sarah's head, and Sarah had resist the urge not to swat at her as if she were a fly. She almost felt that she was being given a test of sorts. The spinning was beginning to make her dizzy and she strained her eyes, trying to make out the tiny bodies, but it was too difficult. She didn't know how long this was going to go on for. She didn't want to hurt their feelings by stepping away or by asking them to stop. She got the feeling that this was a show that they didn't put on for too many of the outside world and she definitely didn't want to seem unappreciative. So she smiled and kept watching.

They formed what seemed to be a solid ring of light that dipped and tilted, ebbed and flowed. Sarah finally stopped trying to think, to make sense of it all and just let her senses take control. It felt like a physical movement within, a slipping away. All of her frustrations sank back, thrown into the murky water of her subconscious. Not gone completely, but put away for now. Along with it, the need to prove herself right, to explain her actions, to question the unknown. For the first time in a long time she let herself _only_ feel. Nothing needed to be said – words were meaningless at this point.

The light warmed her and she felt the solid earth beneath her feet. She let the light blind her and reveled in its beauty. She tasted that old familiar tang of magic that danced on her tongue and tickled her nose, and in the almost silence, heard a word. It wasn't spoken, it was as if the sound of it came out of the pure humming noise that was created by the spectacle before her.

Her mind caught it even before it registered consciously. The fairy ring broke and there was a joyous thronging all around her, but she couldn't bring herself to the present. She barely heard Littlesky's words.

"Fairies like Sarah much! All agree: Sarah one of us now!" There were a hundred tiny cheers, and a few twigs and leaves (and even an unhappy snail) were thrown into the air.

But the word resounded within Sarah's mind. A word that may or may _not _mean anything. A word that she may have only _thought _she heard. Or maybe not.

_Jareth._

_Lyrics taken from** Going Under**, by Evanescence_

Hey, I hope that satisfies you all for now. I am already working on the next chapter. Please tell me what you think. Thanks! : P

p.s: that last bit I took inspiration for from a song I've heard about fairy rings. (I really know nothing about them, so I hope I wasn't too off.) Anyway, I might include the lyrics in a later chapter if it fits.


	27. Strange Bird

Ok, here is me…

and here is you!

**Culfindae**: Sorry for the wait, thank you, and I will! Thanks again for reviewing.

**draegon-fire**: Thanks for your review. I'm glad you understand, it's like she's gotta have this chance, now, to stand on her own two feet. I hope you like where I've gone with her and the fairies.

**Moonjava**: Thank you! Yeah, they grew on me, and that line just seemed to fit the desperation she was feeling at the time.

**Mevneriel**: Don't worry, I may take a hellishly long time in updating, but I don't plan on leaving this story. I'm so glad you like it. Thanks for your review!

**classics85**: Wow! Thanks. All of these song lines kept popping up in my head that led me to thinking about her ending up there. I'm so glad you like it.

**Nugrey**: I'm glad you like the story. Thanks for reviewing!

**Whispers-Of-Crimson**: Thank you so much! _blushes_ Can't say I've ever had someone threaten to eat my eyes before… I'm so touched! And a little frightened… but it hasn't been two months yet! I still have a few days! _Runs away, covering eyes with one hand._

**LabyLvrPhx**: Aw, don't say that. Thanks for your review!

**Emilie**: Aw, you stayed up late for my story? That's so nice! I hope you didn't have too much trouble in the morning. I can sympathize – I've spent many a late night on In fact, it's 1:35 in the morning now, and yes, I do have work in the morning. Ouch!

**Aeris Tiniel Mirime**: Thank you so much! That whole chapter was pretty fun to write, that always helps. Glad you're enjoying things.

**IcySunset**: Thanks, it's nice to know that others have the same patience I do for letting a story progress. I'm glad you are enjoying it.

**Seizure Squirrel**: Thanks so much! I will finish… someday. I'm glad you like the story.

**roswellwbfan**: I'm glad, I wasn't really sure how to approach that whole concept. I wasn't sure how everyone would react… I'm glad that you liked it. Don't worry about those two, there's not much that could keep them apart now. (how's your story coming, by the way? I miss it! )

**whymewhyme**: that would be interesting. I went back to that chapter and looked, tried to think about what it would be like if things ended there. Definitely neat, and kind of Twilight Zone-ish. Don't worry, I'm actually going somewhere, here. That's why I continued. But it's good food for thought, and I appreciate your comments.

**Angelic Tears**: Thank you! I'm glad you liked what you read. As to what I've alluded to, the song lyrics I included just a few lines below this should explain my reasonings a little better now. I hope you enjoy!

**Ch. 27** – Strange Bird

_My mind a whirl of clouded dreams,_

_I knew not where I dwelt._

_Yet in that shining Fairy Ring,_

_a calming warmth I felt._

_Oh thrice I called unto the Fey, _

_and thrice about was turned._

_I fell upon the living earth,_

_and in that moment learned._

_For there that night I felt a touch,_

_and in that moment knew_

_the Fairy magic had revealed_

_my heart's desire true. _

The sun was just coming up.

Overhead a bird sang, greeting the morning with a cheerful cry. Greeting the Labyrinth, as well. Waking it up, prodding it into consciousness. Jareth heard the sound and knew what it meant; that bird-of-prey part of his brain, where instinct ruled, automatically taking in distance, location, and probable size and speed of the other creature, as it always did. He heard and immediately filed it away, not pausing to look out over his kingdom with the usual feeling of '_This is mine,'_ or to respond in kind and take to flight himself, as he was apt to do in the mornings. Instead he continued on, making his way deeper and deeper into the forest.

As he walked, he continued his internal argument over whether or not what he was doing was a good idea. He didn't want to do anything to break the tenuous trust that Sarah had built up for him – she'd said that she needed to do this on her own and that she needed some space in order to do it right. He was willing to give her that, but it had been days and days and he hadn't heard anything from her. Neither had any of the other kingdom's inhabitants that he'd talked to. No one had heard from, or even seen her. He'd held out as long as possible, but he needed to know that she was okay.

It had been hard even holding out this long. He knew the fact hadn't escaped the notice of his subjects – he was probably even more short-tempered than usual, judging by the way his goblins had all but vacated his castle altogether. It seemed they lately preferred their squat, dingy homes to his large drafty throne room, where it was _usually _commented on that there were plenty of chickens to harass and all the ale to drink that one could get their hands on. Apparently the one downside to this was that, to be a part of this constant 'revelry' one had to risk occasionally being thrown across the room, or knocked over, or having something thrown _at _them, and this was bad enough when the King **wasn't** _"in one of his moods"_. It wasn't hard to guess their reasoning, and Jareth grudgingly had to admit that he probably had not been so easy to live with lately.

He really just needed to see Sarah. For peace of mind. Surely she would not begrudge him that. She couldn't possibly get mad at his genuine concern.

He hoped not.

It wasn't as if he were here to force her to go back to the castle, to give up on this mission of hers. He understood her reasons for doing what she'd done, and he was willing to give her all of the time she needed. Of course, if _she_ suggested coming back early, who was he to argue?

He was just going to make sure that she was alright, inquire about her progress, see if there was anything that she needed. A short visit – one he'd be making if it were any other subject of his in similar circumstances. She wouldn't be upset. He hoped.

Except now he was having trouble finding her. He'd thought about flying and looking for her with his keen hunter's eyes, but had decided against it. If she saw him, it would look like he was spying on her, and if she _didn't_ see him, he was afraid he might be tempted to actually spy on her.

She'd already fascinated him while in her own world, with her quirky, quiet ways. He'd watched her for countless hours as she blended in with the scenery until she was almost invisible, free to observe those around her, unnoticed. He'd watched her spin her own worlds out of the fodder from that which surrounded her.

Even back when he wouldn't admit his fascination, he'd made up excuses to study her, and now he was more than curious as to what she'd be like here. He had to admit that he wanted to see her unguarded and open, because he knew that, as fine as they got on with each other now, and as much as Sarah was beginning to really trust him, she still kept that part of herself safe around him. As hard as that was for him to swallow, (wasn't he, after all, the one that had actually taken some of her dreams and made them real?) he knew that it was because of all that she'd been through. It was a natural reaction – she'd learned time and again the hard lesson that there were not many in her world whom she could trust. She'd opened herself to them, only to have her words, at best, be rejected and ignored, and at worst, reason enough to be locked away for.

It was a sad story, one that Jareth had seen too many times in this particular role he played. Young children always seemed to be so open and trusting, so willing to share every dream. But the older children and those just venturing into young adulthood – they were wary and guarded, they knew by now the dangers of vulnerability. And adults – they were often the worst, jaded and bitter. Too let down and mistrusting to believe anything anymore. They often brought things to a full circle, not wanting to believe in anyone else's dreams when they'd never had anyone to listen to theirs. And so the cycle would continue.

He knew, though, that Sarah would never end up like _that_, even if she hadn't come here. There were a few who had enough of that rebellious spirit, who could not just reconcile themselves to becoming like everybody else, even if doing so would mean having more friends, or being more acceptable to one's family. They just learned new defense mechanisms; ways to trick people into looking the other way. That was Sarah. She tricked everyone into thinking that she was so frail, and they never looked closer to see that she was actually strong, stronger than most of them.

And he knew that, with enough time, she'd let her guard down. She'd see that she could say anything here, that she could be who she wanted, and feel safe doing so. As long as she felt she could truly trust him. As long as he didn't do anything to betray that trust, or even to cast any doubt upon it. And if it meant that he couldn't indulge himself in watching her as much as he might want to do, then it was worth it.

It was the same reason he was becoming more and more reluctant to watch her through his crystals. Of course she'd have no way of knowing if he did, but something about it felt weird. The last time she was here, he'd had no qualms about watching her every move, but they'd been competing against each other, and spying on her was fair game in his mind. It was all about winning… then. But now things were different.

He'd watched her for a little while that first night that she'd been gone, but had begun to feel badly after a while. With no information to gain from her this time, no dangers to throw her way, and determining that she was, in fact, doing just fine, he found himself without any real reason to be spying. How easy it would be to just watch her for hours on end, forgetting the world around him, but he knew that when next he saw her he'd feel guilty. He'd be on edge, wondering if she could tell, if she could see it on his face. He didn't want to lose control here.

The trees had widened out. Huge trunks sat with roots sunk deep, reaching branches overhead, gnarled and forked, their leafy canopy stretching between them to cover most of the glade in shadow. Pockets of sunlight fell, here and there, in between the numerous limbs that criss-crossed close enough to hop from one to the other without much difficulty.

Jareth looked around. Where was she? This was the direction that she'd gone in, and he'd carefully followed her trail. There wasn't much to go by, little signs that the common passerby would never even notice, but it wasn't the case for Jareth. So in tune was he, with his Labyrinth, and all who entered it, that he could pick out slight variances in any given area, and tell who had passed there.

Especially Sarah. She seemed to leave… something… wherever she went. He liked to think of it as purity. Even in this short amount of time he could see the difference, the good she was doing his realm. He could have sworn he was dreaming, but flowers seemed to bloom again around her, where before they wilted. They did so slowly, again, unnoticeable to anyone else, but it was something.

Seeing this filled Jareth with a renewed sense of hope. Hope that he'd been right to bring her here. That she could heal his small part of this world. Perhaps when others from those lands surrounding his began to see the difference, that things were finally beginning to right themselves, then they wouldn't be so reluctant to enter the Labyrinth. There might be more of an open border policy, as there had been in times past. People wouldn't look at him with that look of distrust that was poorly disguised as understanding and empathy. The Labyrinth might once again become more fully part of the Underground. And it was because of Sarah.

Jareth slowed. He was sure that she had gone this way, but he could no longer sense her trail. It had just faded away so gradually that he hadn't even noticed until it just wasn't there. Dread began to creep in, along with another feeling – the feeling of being watched. If something had happened to her…

---

Far above, several pairs of eyes watched. They watched the figure below them wander aimlessly about the small glade. Though it had no apparent direction, its movements were purposeful; it radiated authority and control. Their King, then. He seemed to be looking for something.

Their eyes met, communicated silently for a few moments before settling once again on the sight beneath them. They watched as he finally slowed in his steps, and then stopped, running fingers through his hair in a slightly weary gesture. He looked this way and that, studying his surroundings as if trying to glean some information from them, something that would not be apparent right away.

Again they had a brief look at each other and one jerked its head to one side, silently asking if they should leave. The other shook its head. No, stay and observe. A short nod and they continued their watch.

---

Nothing. As hard as Jareth looked in every direction, he could see nothing out of order. Nothing that would point to something being wrong. There didn't seem to be any intruder in his Labyrinth, yet he couldn't scratch that feeling of being watched. Is this what it felt like for those who ran his race when he spied upon them?

He didn't like this feeling of not knowing, of not being able to see immediately what was amiss. He didn't feel in control. The last time he'd felt like that was when Sarah had been busy beating him at his own very carefully planned game. He couldn't afford to lose that control again.

---

Still far above, the two looked on. The larger of these pairs of eyes sat stock-still, watching closely. The body it was attached to clung tightly to the branch it was perched on. One small hand rose up to rake messy tangles out of the way, its gaze never wavering. It seemed interested in what the Goblin King below them was doing.

---

Jareth turned around and around, shaking his head. She should be around here somewhere. He was beginning to wonder if his mind was playing tricks on him, if maybe he wasn't as connected to her as he had hoped to believe. Maybe he'd been fooling himself all along, seeing what wasn't really there. Maybe…

There was a sound above him. Branches creaked angrily as something shifted its weight in the trees. As he turned his head, it came sailing down, sending leaves flying, to land behind him.

He spun around and the thing remained crouched on the ground, staring up at him. At the look on Jareth's face, it slowly straightened until it was nearly at eye level with him. The two sized each other up for a few moments.

Jareth blinked, and remembered to breathe.

"Sarah."

She said nothing, just stared. Her face bore neither malice nor affection. Her face didn't show much at all, in fact. Her eyes searched his, jumping rapidly from his own incredulous stare to his shoulders, his mouth, his hands, the fall of hair and back to his eyes once again. She looked like she was memorizing him, taking stock of every detail. It was almost unnerving, so unsolicitous was her manner.

So he took this opportunity to study her back, trying to figure out her peculiar behavior. He'd been so ready to point out all of the reasons for his actions that they'd almost come spilling out of his mouth when he'd first laid eyes upon her. If it hadn't been for the way she looked, he might have. But there was nothing. Was she just that upset? Was she waiting him out? Did she mean to speak to him at _all_? Tension crept back into Jareth's spine as the silence stretched out between them and grew.

"Sarah," he said finally as she began to circle him slowly, "Please do not be angry with me. I know that you wanted to be alone…"

He gestured helplessly, turning to face her searching gaze. "I will give you your space, but within reason."

He didn't know why he was being so defensive; all he knew was that her lack of response was beginning to frustrate him, as was her constant circling. He was tempted to reach out and stop her, turn her to face him, force her to look into his eyes, but he wisely held back. Such an intrusion would only prove detrimental to their communication, as twisted as it was at the moment.

"Listen, I'm not going to go days and days without even knowing how you fare. What if you were to become injured? How would I know? I want you to understand that I'm not going to spy on you like I once did – I respect your wishes, but if I feel the need to, I _am _going to check on you from time to time." He straightened a little. "Don't forget, you still reside in _my_ kingdom – I _still_ rule here."

She paused and turned to face him fully. She tilted her head up at him. "I know that." Her voice was hoarse, as if she hadn't used it in days.

"Oh," he replied, nonplussed. 'Oh'… what a profound response. Once again, Jareth marveled at how this simple girl could do that to him. He'd spoken before many, many important dignitaries from all over the seven realms; confronted countless humans who found themselves, for whatever reason, at the wrong end of a careless wish. He was a master-wordsmith, able to outsmart and out-riddle anyone. It had always been that way, part of his very being. And yet, with one simple sentence, she could leave him awkward and speechless.

But it wasn't just that. It was the look that always accompanied her words. The way she always stared at him, as if she could see straight through him. The worst part of all was that it looked as if she did so effortlessly. Cruel he'd once called them – those eyes that made him feel so transparent. Maybe they were. Not evil – no because Sarah didn't, _couldn't_ have an evil bone in her body, but cruel indeed, in that inevitable way that nature is cruel, even as it is beautiful. It could be seen everywhere, there was great beauty as well as cruelty in the hunt; fire looked beautiful as it consumed all life before it, leaving behind new life that only it had the power to set into motion. Get too close to the most beautiful of waterfalls and one risks drowning in its waters, being crushed on the rocks below.

Sarah tilted her head again and frowned slightly. "How long has it been?"

Jareth looked at her in surprise. "More than a week, now. But how could you not…?" He didn't know what to think. She seemed so dazed, almost like she'd been when at the institution. But there was a calm with her now, instead of the roiling fear and confusion that had been present before. It was like she'd let go of something intangible. There was a certain tension that she had always carried with her, at least for as long as he'd known her personally. He couldn't see it now.

"More than a week," she repeated under her breath. "Hmm," she murmured. She held both hands up and inspected them, turning them over. She picked at the slight bit of dirt that could be seen under her fingernails. Then shrugged. Jareth noticed that her clothes looked a little tattered. They were torn in a few places and hung loosely from her frame. Her shoes were missing and her hair hung messily in her eyes. She didn't appear to notice.

"Have you been okay?" he asked abruptly.

She nodded, peering at him once again. There was an almost wild look in her eyes and it was almost scary how much she seemed to be a part of this world now. Looking at her, one could almost believe that she'd always been here, that she was not an ordinary mortal girl from the Aboveworld, but a fair spirit of the woods.

"Have any more dreams plagued you?"

"A few…" she glanced over her shoulder, looking back to where the trees grew together thickly. "They've managed to distract me, and now when I do have one…" She paused, and Jareth waited patiently. Breathing deeply, she continued, "I don't know, it's like… I still know where I am, even through the dream. I think about them right next to me, or above me…"

Jareth breathed a sigh of relief. This was good news. Then he looked up, forehead creasing slightly. "_Who_ distracts you?"

Sarah turned back around, facing Jareth once again. "The fairies," she said gravely. "They came to visit me… I guess you could say that they've sort of taken me in."

He wasn't sure what to believe. Fairies were so mistrusting of other races, so secretive by nature. Especially in his realm, thanks to Hoggle and his friends, who loved to hunt them for sport. Anything was possible, but it did make it hard to trust Sarah's claims. The sprightly creatures of the Underground were known for their jokes and pranks, not for their friendships with newcomers. 'Was Sarah becoming delusional?' he wondered.

Sarah gave Jareth a look that showed she may have guessed his thoughts. Keeping her eyes on him, she slowly raised one hand to her lips. Propping her index finger upon her cheek, she kept her thumb and two middle fingers straight, but close together so that there was a very small pocket of air in front of her lips. Curling her pinky tightly, she blew. A long, pure note came out and she flung her pinky outward, straightening it as well, which brought the note to a higher pitch at the end.

The first thing that happened was that something ruffled Sarah's hair. A little face popped out from right behind her ear, looking at Jareth with a sly grin. The large flowery thing that he thought Sarah had picked somewhere and wound throughout her raven tresses was actually a pair of fairy wings. They had held very still and he hadn't even looked that closely, but now, as the thing giggled at him, reveling in its trickery, the wings fluttered open and closed.

He took a step back and looked up as more fairies came fluttering down, gracefully, out of the trees, like leaves falling in autumn. They began to land on Sarah, clinging to her shoulders, balancing on her head and her outstretched arms. Sarah too was looking up by now, and then her eyes met Jareth's, and she smiled at him, looking like a strange bird, vibrantly plumed and colored.

Jareth was amazed, but maybe he shouldn't have been so. Again Sarah had managed to do what no one else could, she'd managed to forge ties with those whom most couldn't even hope to have a word with. After a moment he returned her smile. "I guess you were right."

She gave a short nod and then shook herself a little, which set them all a-flight, with tiny shouts of glee. She gave a small inward laugh at their merriment, then turned. "Anyway," she continued softly, "I'm glad you came."

Jareth had to mentally tell himself to answer her. It was so easy to get caught up in the vision she'd just portrayed, it was hard to come back down and converse normally again.

It was also hard not to slip back into the old role of seducer once again. It seemed a natural place to go from here: tempt her with something, distract her with slow, measured words, get a little too close. Force of habit he supposed, or maybe something more… oh well it wasn't as if it had exactly worked on her before. He'd learned that already.

'All in good time,' he thought to himself before replying. "Well, I'm just glad that you haven't been completely alone here. I'll admit I was a little worried for that."

"I know."

They stood, watching one another. Neither really knew what to say next, but didn't necessarily want this time to end just yet. A few of the scattering fairies had drifted back down to perch once again on Sarah's shoulders and she let them. The rest had gone back up into the trees, or wove in and out of the trunks along the ground looking for walnuts or various other treasures to be found.

Sarah made some slight noise in the back of her throat, as if she'd just remembered something. She looked up, blinking slowly. "I have been thinking a lot lately about what we talked about before… before all of the dreams started."

Not knowing for sure, Jareth waited for to continue.

"I told you that I'd help fix things here. While I'm out here, I'm going to try and find a way…," she looked around her pensively. "I made this mess, I need to find a way to put things aright."

He couldn't stop himself this time from reaching up and running one hand through the hair that hung near her face. She stilled at this, and shut her eyes as if to concentrate solely on this new feeling. "There is no one like you," he said softly. "Don't blame your self for the way things are. You had every right to do whatever it took to win your freedom. It was my own fault for getting in over my head."

Eyes open again, she lowered her head a little and gave a small laugh. "Even so."

He stepped closer, and keeping his hand anchored in her hair, made her look up at him. "Don't you see the good you're already doing this place? Things seem alive again where ever you go. The forest around you is happy that you are within it, and it seeks to shelter you for as long as you stay. Such a thing is rare."

She seemed almost entranced by his words, and could not look away from his eyes. He moved his hand downward 'till it trailed out of her hair and onto her neck. She almost visibly shuddered at this, at the slightest of touches his fingers made upon her skin. His own gaze was directed at her mouth, parted slightly in wonder, and he found he couldn't look away. The moment stretched…

Then Sarah swallowed hard and jumped back a fraction. The glazed look left her eyes and Jareth quickly snatched his hand away. It was too much, that was obvious by the way she turned slightly, trying to bring her breathing under control, but trying not to show it. He searched for something to say to get through this moment. He wasn't the only one.

"Well anyway, I think that they'll help me fix things. The fairies, that is. They have been letting me in on all of their secrets lately," she said with a nervous laugh. "They have very odd habits, I might say."

Jareth nodded. "Especially during the summer months, I've noticed."

As if their little ears were burning at this mention, a pair of sprites that Sarah didn't recognize went flying past. They were upside down and flying backwards, holding hands. At seeing this more and more of the fairies joined in, turning themselves upside down and buzzing about. They had the funniest way of doing this. Some landed on the ground and carefully made a headstand, balancing their legs, before flying upward. Some would find a tiny little branch to sit on, before throwing themselves backward so that they were hanging by their legs. They would then take off, frozen in this position. And some got downright daring, bending over in the air to show off their ruffly underskirts (at least the girl fairies). They would then kick their legs up and they too would be off. It was as if they were unable to simply stop mid-flight and turn around and upside down, but Sarah knew better by now. After spending some time with her new friends, she could tell that it was just more fun to do it that way.

"What is going on?" Jareth asked.

Sarah thought a minute. "Wait, what day is it?"

"Tuesday, why?"

She nodded, smiling. "Topsy-Turvy Tuesday. I've been hearing them talk about it for days now. It's where they…" she gestured around her, grinning sheepishly.

"Ah, I see. And I assume they do this all day long?"

"Probably."

Again silence stretched between them. It wasn't uncomfortable this time, there was something else to focus on. Jareth tried not to dwell on the way Sarah was carefully not looking at him. Maybe it was time for him to go.

"Sarah, is there anything you need?"

She looked at him, slightly wide-eyed.

"While you're staying out here," he adjusted. "Are you warm enough? Are you eating? Could I _sound_ anymore like your stepmother?" he finished dryly.

Feeling relief when she realized what he had meant, she laughed at the last thing he said. "I'm fine."

"Okay," he replied doubtfully. "Remember what I said though. I want to make sure that you're safe and well cared for. So…"

"So, you'll be back," she finished slowly, then smiled. "That's fine with me. Maybe the next time I see you I'll have something to report."

"Okay," he said, walking past her. He stopped and turned, now right behind her. "Until next time, then," he whispered in her ear, delighting in the way she stiffened. She looked up, and swallowed again, only managing to nod weakly. He smiled at her flushed appearance and pressed her hand as he moved away.

The smile stayed on his face for a long while, the farther and farther away he got. Maybe she wouldn't really hold his gaze for too long, but there was something there in the way she'd tightened her fingers in his before he let go.

It was promising…

_Lyrics taken from **The Fairy Ring**, by Gary Stadler and Singh Kaur_


	28. Searching

Ok, It's been a little longer than I hoped, but I want to get some thank you's in first:

**IcySunset**: You'd better have your homework finished, young lady! Just kidding, I'm glad you liked the chapter. Thanks for reviewing!

**Mademoiselle Morte**: Thank you! Glad you liked!

**CrossedScarsX**: Thank you so much! I'm so glad that you liked the way everything was described. I was a little afraid of things sounding too contrived or something, but I'm glad to know that it worked well enough. I'm glad for your friend, that she recovered. Thank you so much for reviewing, as well as for your kind words, and I hope you like how things continue!

**Erisinia**: Wow! I'd think you deserve some kind of prize for that, that's a long time to sit in one place. I'm so glad the story could entertain you. Yeah, I don't really know much about fairy rings, just stuff from pictures, or hearing them mentioned, somewhat briefly described in books. I've seen them depicted as being a bunch of little people dancing around some glade, or sometimes a ring of _something_ that's left when a person disappears. I like that it can be whatever fits the situation. Anyway, thanks for the review, and I hope it hasn't been too long of a wait.

**Solea**: Awww! I'm so glad to hear that! You sing, you hear? At the top of your lungs! I will too.

**draegon-fire**: I'm glad. And don't worry; you're not the only one confused about Sarah's behavior. (I'd say a certain Goblin King is going "wtf?" right about now.) She's definitely different right now, but don't worry – she won't be like that forever. In my mind… she's deep in some kind of self-fulfilling journey, if that makes _any _sense. I tried explaining it a little in ch. 24; if you wanted to see, it's the part where he's talking to the little old wise man. So, for now, just see it as… she's not herself right now, she's kind of had to let go of her sanity in order to counter-balance what they did to her. There's this song line that keeps sounding in my head, whenever I'm thinking on this whole issue, and I'll have to find a way of integrating it, to help explain things. So, thanks again, and enjoy…

**jazzy021**: Wow, thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your reviews! I'm so glad that you're liking this story. I think I may have seen that movie a long time ago when I was little. I remember it really capturing my attention… I think I'll have to rent it and see it again. I'm glad you liked reading about those goblin dudes; it was fun writing about them. That was always one of my favorite parts of the movie. Sorry about the sticky mess it caused you, though. Heh, heh… Wow, I think I almost did a little dance when you said _published_. Needless to say, I'm still blushing.

**angeloneous**: Thank you so much, I'm really happy that you like it!

**Morrigana**: Hey, that wasn't nice scaring me like that! I will try and hurry, though. Wow, so you've actually worked at one of these places? I'm glad it wasn't as bad as Fairhaven, but it's sad when places don't treat their patients humanely. This place my sister was at for a while (it was actually a behavioral correction type place) got shut down recently because parents were complaining once they found out about stuff their kids went through. I don't like when peoples' methods are to sort of break the person down, rather than just try and help them conquer their problems themselves. Anyway, I'm glad you could relate, and understand, in a way. And then… _hides face and screams into hands_… oh my, when I wrote that last interchange between them, I just put that in suddenly, you know, to lighten the situation a little. Because what he said did really sound all lectury and grown up and I wanted to point it out, because I really do think he would be that concerned. Anyway, as I wrote it, I suddenly 'heard' Friends in the back of my mind but I shooed the thought away with an: 'Oh, no one will ever notice!' Oh, I feel all bashful and sheepish now! n.n Heh, glad you liked though.

**Aeris Tiniel Mirime**: Thank you, and I'm happy that you liked!

**Neoshipper**: Thanks! I actually got that Topsy-Turvy Tuesday thing from my old 'Pressed Fairies' calendar from a few years ago. _"Topsy-Turvy Tuesday: All the_ _faery kingdom stand on their heads or fly upside down – much to the delight of many and the consternation of many more." _So, there it is, on good authority!

**LabyLvrPhx**: Hey! I'll have you know that the very day your review came in my computer broke! You jinxed me! Just kidding, it wasn't a big deal (I can't even remember what was wrong now… but that _could_ just be because of my lazy updating habits) and when I read your review I had a good laugh because of the coincidence. So, I really have no good excuse for taking so long, but hope you like what's next…

**Rogue200315**: Thanks, glad you like. Uh, I think Toby will make another appearance somewhere down the line, but I can't promise anything.

**Devi**: Heh, well it didn't take _two _months… (grins sheepishly) and thanks for the info. From all of the different things I've come across, I've gotten pretty much the same impression. Some of the details vary from story to story about fairy rings but most at least contain the general ideas you stated. I'm glad you liked it.

**Katerina**: Thank you! I'm a big Tori fan and am prone to wrapping stories around her lyrics. I'm glad you liked it!

**PirateGrl**: Thank you so much for your review. I'm sorry to hear about your mother's death. I went through the same thing, about 10 years ago (hard to believe it's been that long). It's really cool that you took care of her, it's something that at least you can look back upon and be proud of. I think that writing this story has been therapeutic for me, dealing with the subject matter. I didn't personally go through what Sarah did at the beginning, but my sister did. She was only 8 when our mom died and it hit her harder. She's nineteen now, and has come out on top of most of her problems. I partly wrote this story for her. Anyway, thanks again. It's nice to know that there are people out there who can relate.

**roswellwbfan**: Thanks! It's nice to hear from you, and I'm glad you liked it!

**kiznahalfharpy**: Thanks!

**jumping-jo**: Thank you, glad you like it.

**cheerleaders4eva**: Wow, thank you! And don't worry, I may take a while but I won't ever abandon this story without a life-altering good reason. Such as I've died or no longer have fingers (in which case I would probably just dictate the rest of the story to my little sister, it's about time she did something for me!), but point is, I'm in till the bloody end. _ew_

**ladyofthedragons1: **Glad to hear that you're doing better. My sister cut for a while, and we speak candidly on the subject. The whole thought process behind it actually makes a lot of sense to me. Anyway, thanks for your review.

**Arrna**: You'll see. Thanks for reviewing!

**nimiriel: **Well, I'm glad that you like the story, and thanks for giving me a try. Heh, sorry about the wait, but I hope you like what's next.

**Katsu**: Sorry about the even longer wait! But I am glad that you like the story and thankful for your review. u.u

**Lealie Dryer**: Well, here it is… I can't promise that the next chapter will be soon, but I will try not to let too much time go by again. Thanks for your review!

**The Wyrd Sister**: (blush) Thank you!

**lilwhitney**: Thank you, and sorry for the wait! Don't worry, I won't let the story fall apart. It may take me a long time to get moving but I have every intention of finishing this story.

**Fiona**: Thanks! And, I didn't…

**Ch. 28** – Searching...

It was night again.

Sarah, perched once more in her tree, stared at the moon, huge and bright. It seemed so close. From her vantage point she could see ridges and craters, more clearly than she'd ever been able to make out from her old front yard, where she'd had the habit of sitting night after night, stargazing.

Leaning back, she held up her hand so that it blocked the moon from her view completely, as if knocking it right out of the sky. She then spread her fingers and the moon was once again there, its glowing rays visible again, shining almost reproachfully in her eyes. She flexed her fingers, flipped her hand around, making different shadow patterns on her face, making them move and dance. The glow of moonlight shimmered between her outstretched digits, skipped about on her face, playing back. Sarah nodded, satisfied with whatever she had learned.

---

They whispered as he walked by. Those closest to him shrank back as he drew near, respectfully trying not to make obvious their intent. He ignored them all, but climbed staircase after staircase, not bothering to slough off the weight of gravity, as he could if he chose, but letting it settle over his shoulders like a heavy blanket. He let it push at his joints until he could feel the weight of the years he'd lived in servitude to this world in every bone. He felt very… human.

Passing the last corridor, he stepped out of shadow and into the sunlight of the Solarium. He breathed in the fresh air that greeted him, at the same time trying to expel the feeling of claustrophobia that had been plaguing him inside the castle. It was becoming an almost constant companion lately, one that was starting to make him feel quite old. Unacceptable, that, and so he would escape to this place whenever he could just to think and clear his head of all else.

He let his eyes relax as he stared out over his kingdom, saw the land laid out below him. It was just beginning to wake up with the start of the new day, slowly, like a reluctant child, fog still blanketing everything. His eyes roved back and forth, almost without conscious thought guiding them. Back and forth over the expanse of green, searching for a splash of black. Searching for a movement of pale flesh, brown eyes framed by hair almost the color of midnight. As usual there was nothing. Even so, he stayed, as if rooted to the spot.

Out here he felt the closest to her.

---

Running.

Not looking at the ground beneath her feet; somehow jumping at the right time over rocks and fallen logs, or dips in the earth. She kept her eyes fixed straight ahead, even as she noted the way the colors and shapes to her right and left turned to streaks, like a watercolor painting that had been doused with too much water and now all of the colors were bleeding and running together. She stretched her arms as wide as they would go for a few moments, feeling the wind rush over her, ignoring the occasional sting as some low hanging branch or vine slapped her skin, leaving tiny red marks.

After a few moments she let them drop, and closed her eyes. She kept to her pace, not slowing, not worrying. The wind chased her shyly (or maybe playfully?), overtaking her and passing her by. It was loud in her ears at times, as it picked up and died off, only to gather speed once again. It strangely felt somewhat like running with a large herd of wild mustangs.

Behind her closed eyes she had a sudden vision of the American Indians, the native peoples who'd once fully inhabited the land she used to call home. She wondered if this was something akin to what they had felt, living in perfect harmony with the land and running with the wild horses, taming some of them and making loyal friends out of those who were willing. She'd always had a place for them in her heart; fascinated by their beliefs and way of life, the respect they held for the land that cradled them as well as its inhabitants, the animals, who they called their brothers.

She remembered the festival her parents had taken her to once upon a time, when her little family and her little world had still been intact. It was at a reservation located a few hours to the northwest of her hometown. Sarah still remembered the sound of the drums, the low beat of it thrumming in her bones, and the high, lilting voices that rose and undulated, sounding ancient and beautiful. She could almost hear an echo of it now and the muscles in her own throat quivered in response, as she remembered how the music had moved her so, even at so young an age. It was so beautiful, and so real.

She wanted this now – to sing to the earth below her, the way that they once had; to thank it for being her companion, for giving her what she needed so willingly. She wanted to sing to the very air around her, which had woken her that morning with its enthusiastic waves of noise, making the trees bend and snap overhead, and making her _know_ right away that she just had to run with it.

Sarah had never felt so alive.

And she wanted to say thank you for that.

So she began to sing. Nothing very coherent in particular, she just let her throat open and pure sound came out, primal sounds from deep within that held tones of love and happiness. She needed no words. It had been so long since she'd let herself indulge in this little pleasure, that she just let go and let the music guide her.

---

"Sir?"

Jareth didn't answer. He stayed where he was, leaned up against the stone wall, feeling the light breeze sweep gently past his face. He had no doubts that all three of them were there, even though it had only been Sir Didymus's voice that had addressed him. It was all right. They were nearly the only ones he'd allowed into this wing of the castle anymore. They were granted access to the Solarium because they were Sarah's friends and during these times, his only link to her.

They said nothing more, waiting respectfully for their King to answer, or not. They knew better than to intrude upon his whims.

When Jareth finally opened his eyes, he saw that he'd been right. The three of them stood a ways away, uncertainly. "Yes?" he asked lowly.

"My Liege," Didymus began, bowing deeply, "please forgive the intrusion. We only thought to inquire after Lady Sarah. Has Your Majesty been able to locate her?"

Jareth blinked, and straightened, facing them more fully. "Did I not tell you? I found her several days ago. It was a brief visit, but I was able to surmise that she is doing just fine."

Hoggle and Ludo visibly brightened at this news, forgetting any momentary irritation that they had not been informed sooner. Didymus closed his eyes and sighed deeply. "Oh, well met, Sir! The news that our Lady is well is most joyous indeed."

There was a pause. Hoggle took a small step forward. "Do ya'… do you think you might see her again soon?" he asked in a stumbling voice.

Jareth studied his erstwhile gardener, noting the lines of worry that seemed to have taken up permanent residence on his face. Then he looked upwards to the night sky, glaring balefully at the clouds that were slowly blanking out the stars, turning the clear, vast black into a murky gray-white. "If this weather gets any worse, I'll be going straight back to her." He looked back at them.

"Can… can ya' tell her that 'her old friend Hoggle says hi'?" he asked hopefully.

"Ludo say hi," came the Yeti's mournful voice, his ears pricking up.

"And I too, Sir," Didymus joined in, "would'st thou send her my affections, as well?"

He regarded them all, strangely glad for their presence, their support, and finding the feeling foreign. "I will. Sarah will be most pleased to hear your sentiments. I think I will go to her again, soon."

---

Soon turned out to be the very next day as, true to Jareth's hunches, the heavens opened up the very next day and poured down rain upon them all.

The Goblin King clutched his cloak around him, adjusting his draping hood to better keep the rain off his face, as he walked through the wood, tracking her. As he walked, he thought of how he'd looked darkly upon those clouds last night, willing them not to break upon Sarah. As much as he wanted her not to be put under any more distress by the cold and wet, he couldn't help but feel a surge of hope at this change in weather. It had been so long since rain had come to these parched lands, so long in fact since anything had happened, with the climate or seasons, to give any kind of sign that this was anything more than a dead land. It was heartening to see that things were once again moving, that cycles were turning, that the Labyrinth's inner workings seemed to be waking up once again. This was a very good sign.

Though it took him a while, he found her eventually, and she allowed him to stay, allowed the blanket he threw over her shoulders, even allowed him to make a small fire. It hovered a few centimeters over the ground and burned of its own accord, seemingly immune to the rain. He came often over the next few days, as the rain continued in its steady pace. He always managed to find her wherever she'd wandered to, and it would be the same thing. They'd sit side by side, staring into the fire, or sometimes into each other's eyes for a few moments, long enough to study the light moving there. What ever this was, it felt too big for words.

Sometimes, though, silent conversations would pass between them, as he would ask silently whether she wouldn't just come back with him until the skies cleared and it grew warmer again, and she would stare back, the gentle yet firm 'no' plain in her eyes. It was hard to swallow, but she always let him come back, knowing that tomorrow he'd be asking the same of her, and for that he was grateful.

---

Days passed, and with them, so did the rain.

Unknown to Sarah, her friends breathed collective sighs of relief, as much for her well being, as for the growing things they could once again sense all around them.

---

The fairies came out once again from their caves and hollow trees to fly about in the sunlight, drying their sodden wings.

---

Sarah raised her eyes to the sky, more beautiful now than she'd ever seen it.

---

"Did you hear it?" Jareth asked of the three behind him, before they'd even had the chance to make their presence known.

"Hear what, My Liege?" Sir Didymus asked, as it was the unspoken rule that he play the part of spokesman for this rag-tag group.

"Her voice," he answered, staring out over the land. "I thought I'd heard it days ago, _thought_ that maybe I was imagining things, but I heard it again, just now. A voice on the wind. Sarah's voice." He closed his eyes, reveling in the memory of it.

"'Tis a good sign, then," Didymus replied. "I only wish that I- _we_ could have heard it, but alas, in the bowels of the castle as we were, not much can be heard from the outside."

Jareth wondered on this after they had gone. He knew he hadn't imagined it; he'd heard Sarah enough times to recognize her voice. Maybe only he could hear it, because of the connection he knew they _had_ to share. The jealous part of him was secretly glad for this.

He began staying up there on his Solarium, spending his days and most of his nights as well, taking his meals there, always hoping for the next strain of song to come floating over the trees.

---

For Sarah, it wasn't clear how many days had passed now. All she was aware of was that it always got dark and then, just as surely, became light again a few hours later. Warm and cold became a pattern, too. It only lightly played at the back of her mind. The cold didn't really bother her now. she was too busy trying to commune with the Labyrinth to let such paltry matters concern her as they once had. If her clothes looked right, if her hair was brushed.

Actually, she noted, leaving herself open to the elements this way actually helped Sarah to search deeper, to try harder to find…something. Some spark of recognition, something that might eventually be coaxed into approaching her figuratively outstretched hand. Like a feral animal, shy and flighty, she could almost feel it at times, just there, beyond her field of perception. She wasn't sure, exactly, what it was, but its presence gave her hope.

The fairies took care of her, bringing her food to eat, various fruits and berries, to nourish her when she forgot to look after her own needs. Eventually Sarah overcame her initial hesitancy to accept food that was given to her in this particular place. She knew the fairies were her friends and that they meant her no harm, but it too closely resembled the trick Hoggle had played on her during her first journey through the Enchanted Wood.

'The trick he was coerced into playing on me,' she amended mentally.

Even though she'd found out that it had really been the Goblin King who had laid the trap, she also knew that there was no reason for him to try such a thing now. To do so would be, in effect, to shoot himself in the foot, for it was his Labyrinth she was trying to heal. It was why he'd brought her there, wasn't it? What had he said to her… back there in that dark and scary place?

'I need your help…'

This was a serious job she had before her. It would have to be for him to admit something like that to her. 'After all,' she thought to herself, with a tiny smile just visible on her lips, 'he _is_ still male, not to mention a _King_ – he does have his pride.'

But it seemed that the problems the Labyrinth was facing were now affecting, not only its inhabitants, but also those in lands beyond. The more she thought of it, the more impressed she became with his behavior. His actions showed him to be a good leader. He was putting the needs of his own people ahead of the probable distaste he'd had at coming to ask for aid from his old adversary.

She sighed, remembering this fact. He couldn't have been very happy, faced with the prospect of having to contact her again after the way things had been left before. But he seemed to bear her no malice now, at least none that she could sense. Was it because of what had happened to her? Had pity replaced anger and resentment? What would have happened if she'd been fine, at home, safe and cozy in her own room? _Getting on with her life? _Would things have been different then?

Sarah forced down the twinge of panic that tickled at the back of her throat. She was letting herself get distracted again, and that would only prevent her from getting to the task at hand. She needed to _concentrate_. She took a deep breath, looking at the spray of stars overhead, then closed her eyes, remembering the words she'd heard sung at the Indian festival; words she knew not the meaning of, but that wasn't important now. Whatever they were, they were meaningful and important. There were lessons in those words. She concentrated on the sounds of them, the hypnotic drum beats…

She shut out the small shiver her small frame was trying to make, forcing stillness upon her body and relied completely upon her senses. Everything became amplified. Instead of shivering and trying to get warm, she opened herself to the cold, and imagined herself to be made of ice. Instead of trying to make out shadows in the dark, she let the blackness envelop her and felt the compensation in her other senses. The grass under her hands felt giant, she could imagine it, soft and velvety, in hyper-vibrant color. The calls of night animals, rather than cause her alarm, as they once might have, seemed suddenly to have a purpose, a language all their own. If she thought hard and long enough, Sarah thought she might even be able to figure this language out to some extent. But she still couldn't be distracted. This kind of thing, fascinating as it was, could conceivably be replicated in her own world. No… it was beautiful and magnificent, but it wasn't enough, not nearly.

She was getting closer, for now the gentle swaying of the trees, the winds moving stealthily through leaves, the occasional snap of a branch seemed less random and more purposeful, meaningful.

"Please," she whispered softly, too soft for anyone to hear, had they even been sitting right next to her prone form. "Talk to me."

A lifetime of being overlooked and forgotten now paled in comparison with this sudden need. If the Labyrinth had indeed given Sarah any magic, had counted her worthy even in some small way, it _had_ to talk to her now. This would hurt more than any other rejection, she realized, if the Labyrinth were to ignore her now.

---

Around her, but far above, the fairies watched in awe. They'd been hovering about for hours, hadn't left her side in fact, but since darkness had fallen this night they'd retreated a ways, feeling the need to give their new friend some space to do whatever it was she was so keenly interested in doing. Whatever it was, it felt important.

They wisely hung back but were reluctant to leave altogether, still feeling that she needed looking after. This Big Thing was the most senseless they'd ever met, forgetting to eat, wandering around in a daze, or sitting at the edge of some small pond for hours, skimming the surface with the lightest of touches, lost in thought. They loved her all the more for it because nonsense was their naturally chosen way of life, and behaving in a sensible way was a trait strictly of the Aboveworld. Being_ of _the Aboveworld and yet so silly at the same time, served to amuse them immensely.

So they stayed by, in a sort of vigil, keeping a close eye on the girl below them, ready if help was needed. Earlier a goblin had needed dealing with. He'd been spotted creeping towards her, full of his own mischief, obviously bent on playing some trick on her, as was their nature to do. He probably would have tied her hair to some roots deep in the ground to give her a nasty surprise when she awoke, or perhaps he had a cache of ticklebugs on him that he was getting ready to release into her collar. Whatever his purpose, they set upon him quickly and chased him off for the offence, biting his large ears and hurtling acorns at him. Since then there had been no disturbance.

---

Above, the stars winked back at Sarah impassively. They were the only thing she could make out. She was hyper-alert and very relaxed now. So much so that she could feel her own breathing throughout her whole body, hear it rushing in her ears, feel it in waves over her arms and legs. She felt completely defenseless, and fully surrendered herself to the Labyrinth, trusting it fully.

And why not? There was nothing to lose. If she couldn't form some sort of connection with this place, her last refuge against the Aboveworld and their forced ideas of "reality" then she didn't know what else there was to do. She might as well go back there and be crazy.

But she didn't think on this now. Instead she imagined the Underground as a whole, all she'd ever seen of it, all of its puzzles and layers. A brief memory flitted through her mind. Something from Psych class in high school. The Gestalt theory – 'the whole is worth more than the sum of its parts'. It definitely fit here. She remembered all of the parts of Labyrinth she'd been through, the many deceptions and pitfalls, its defenses, and its many inhabitants, who were as much a part of it as its mazes themselves. She remembered the feel of the dust on the stones under her fingers; the cool, dampness of the underground caves. The many colors and smells. Her memory pulled back, saw it as a whole. Remembered the way it moved and shifted. It was mercurial, defensive and closed up one minute, and humorous and full of mischief the next. In this mental vision she had, she saw it all as if from a great distance. She stared for so long that she didn't, at first, even notice the change that had taken place. But then it hit her, that feeling of being watched. Or rather, of being watched _back_.

She blinked, straining her eyes, trying to locate what it was that had given her this feeling. There was nothing perceptible that was looking directly at her, it wasn't as if there were giant eyes in the trees or the land spread out before her, but it _felt_ that way. There was a… recognition there; it was crazy but it really felt like something was looking at her. Sarah felt her mouth drop open in shock and then the thing smiled…

Sarah gasped and sat straight up. The dark shocked her senses and it took her a few moments to fight off the disorientation. She looked around, her breath rushing out of her, quickly, as if she'd been holding it.

Had she _really_ been sleeping? It had come on so gradually, she'd never even noticed. In her mental vision she'd forgotten it was pitch black and instead had seen only warm, sun-baked land. That stark difference, more than anything else, told her that she must have nodded off. She sighed, disappointed, and laid back. She'd been doing so good, concentrating so hard.

But could it mean something? The fact that she'd had _that_ dream? Or was it just because it had been on her mind?

_Would she ever know?_

---

Far below the Goblin King's now-usual perch, the goblin village went about their usual daily tasks. Unbeknownst to their King, the village's stocky inhabitants frequently stopped during the day to listen whenever they heard the strange music of whatever had taken up refuge in the forest surrounding their home. They rarely talked of it, occasionally making speculative guesses as to who or what it might be. Some even suggested it was the Labyrinth itself, slowly coming out of its wounded state. They would argue affably for a few minutes, throw out a couple of bets, and then go on prodding some rock or chasing an unhappy chicken as they'd just been doing. Muddled though their minds were, they all felt some measure of hope whenever they heard it.


	29. A Beautiful Release

**A.N. **- OK I'm sticking my apology on my profile page so I can stick to story stuff here. That said, on a weird note, I recently found out that there is an actual place called Fairhaven. I was talking to a teacher I work for and she mentioned it by name to someone over the phone. Needless to say I was a little freaked out and asked her about it. It's more of a group home for the handicapped and mentally challenged and from what she said, a pretty nice place. I _so_ didn't mean to do that, and I am of course not talking about that place. The place I wrote about is entirely fictional, inspired more by some shady institutions I've seen in movies and such.

And one more thing – a **_sincere thanks_** to everyone who has left reviews over the past few years. I appreciate each and every one of them and they are a good reminder to keep writing already! =)

**Ch. 29 –** A Beautiful Release

Sarah opened her eyes slowly. She was laying on her side, bits of bark and dry leaves under her fingertips. She just lay there for a bit, staring at the bit of grass in front of her, the spreading roots of the trees just a little further off.

It felt like she'd slept for a hundred years.

Without lifting her head, Sarah let her gaze drift upward. The trees towered over her as they had done since she'd first wandered into the forest but something felt...off. She felt nothing living around her, nothing was moving; all was quiet.

This could have been any forest, she could be back home for all that she observed around her. The trees could be any trees and there were none of the creatures she'd become accustomed to seeing. They had all disappeared.

Sarah sat up quickly, ignoring the resulting head rush, and stumbled to her feet with a rising sense of panic. _How in the world..._

But just as the awful thought implanted itself in her mind she caught sight of something ahead in the distance, a gnome or some other little creature. He spared her one glance before scuttling away. Sarah put her hand over her pounding heart as she breathed a sigh of relief. She was still where she ought to be.

She set off, as usual not having any actual direction, but feeling the need to go somewhere all the same. To be perfectly honest, there were times when her actions began to feel pointless. She didn't actually have anyplace to go; she didn't know what exactly it was she was trying to accomplish. These moments always made her feel like she was being childish and selfish.

But then with what had happened a few nights ago... Sarah had for the first time begun to feel as though she were actually making some progress, that her being out here in the wild wasn't all for naught. She had started to think she had some purpose out here, that she could do some good after all. That maybe the Labyrinth might actually commune with her and she might actually be connected to this place.

It hadn't happened though. She'd only been dreaming, her supposed connection made up of an overtired mind combined with her desperation to be a part of something meaningful. The Labyrinth wasn't communicating with her, maybe it really couldn't do such a thing and she wasn't doing anybody any good whatsoever. She was just wasting time, hers and that of everyone else who was bothering to worry about her.

Sarah felt like a huge failure.

And she'd never felt more alone.

As she walked, the let-down she was feeling grew worse and worse. It became an argument in her head. Tension in her stomach that wound its way up till her neck felt stiff and she chewed unconsciously on the inside of her cheek. Fingernails that dug tiny creases into her palm.

She passed the morning walking around in a mindless way, distracting herself with random tasks that had no purpose. For a little while she almost convinced herself that she was searching for something she'd misplaced until she finally stopped and realized she had no idea what it was.

She was really trying not to think about what had happened, or when her thoughts did turn in that direction, she'd tell herself that it didn't matter. It was one small setback – one that would be easily overcome. She was _not _upset by it, was _not _angry or depressed.

Not.

Not.

Not.

Sarah kept repeating the word in her head until she had given herself a headache. And still the thoughts came. _Failure. Ingrate. Unworthy. Silly child._

She could feel her thoughts beginning to race and felt the changes it brought in her physically. Her heartbeat quickened, temples ached. She hated this old familiar feeling, fought to push it down, bring it under control but knew it was a battle she was quickly losing. Just like always.

She decided to run. Running would be a distraction, would help her breathe again, or at least tire her out so that hopefully she'd be too exhausted to care anymore. So she ran. She ran and ran until her lungs burned and her legs were too cramped up to move anymore and flopped over gracelessly in a pile near a stream, careful not to fall in, in case it was one of those traps she'd seen before.

As she lay there panting, Sarah stared up at the sky balefully. Even though she knew she was still in the forest in the middle of the Labyrinth, everything still looked...bleak. Where the other night everything had been so beautiful, today the colors all seemed washed out. Hell it had even looked better when it had rained for days. Now it just looked sad.

She knew that nothing around her had changed so it had to be her. She was what was wrong with this picture. She was the one making everything look so negative.

_Whiny brat._

_Dammit._ Sarah closed her eyes as she began to acknowledge the despair as it washed over her. She had tried to keep the feeling at bay, but no use.

She couldn't afford this. _This_ wasn't supposed to happen anymore. She'd been doing so well lately, the nightmares weren't coming as frequently and even when they did, they didn't frighten her as much. She knew them for what they were. Her experiences in the institution seemed farther and farther behind her now that she was in a place so removed from her former reality. So why was this happening now?

Why?

_Self-indulgent complainer._

It was this disappointment, thinking that she'd finally had a breakthrough, only to realize she'd been dumb enough to fall asleep and believe her own delusions to be true. She'd lost ground, taken a step backwards. This just opened the door to her self-doubt and feelings of worthlessness.

_**Spend all your time waiting / for that second chance / for a break that would make it okay / there's always some reason / to feel not good enough / and it's hard at the end of the day**_

She didn't want to give in, to be controlled by this but it overwhelmed her. When the tears came, they came hard. Sharp, angry tears that burned as they fell. Wet tears, dense with anger; they made her hands wet as she harshly wiped them away.

Sarah's throat constricted and her bones shook. She hated this suffocation! She hated these limitations; hated the fact that apparently she was doomed to always be the sad (_pathetic) _little girl.

Who could ever love someone like that?

She felt like she might scream as the feelings got bigger and bigger within her. She didn't want to scream. She sometimes felt like if she were to start, she might never stop. And she knew, too, that it would more likely than not bring Jareth to her side, concerned as he was over her well being. She couldn't face him in this state. The hurt was too raw for words and she would only end up picking a fight, saying something hurtful that would cause him to leave in anger. The same had happened back at home, when she still _had_ a home, Above. She'd argued, yelled, said mean things to cover up her own hurt and managed to isolate her family till they couldn't handle being around her anymore.

This could _not_ happen between them. She didn't want to ever give Jareth a reason to shut her out.

As it always did, eventually her thoughts turned to the other choice she had. The other outlet...

Right away the notion was rejected. No doing that anymore; that was from before. That was what had gotten her into so much trouble in the first place. No.

But she couldn't help contemplating the idea. Did she really have to say goodbye to this particular friend forever? It was effective; addicting. So cathartic, she wouldn't have to be alone with her rage anymore. There would be her...and this.

This opening, this purging. This sacrifice.

_**I need some distraction / oh beautiful release / memory seeps from my veins / let me be empty / oh, and weightless and maybe/ I'll find some peace tonight**_

Maybe she'd been too hasty in trying to rid herself of this habit completely in the first place. Maybe it wasn't so bad a thing and those doctors had only put it into her head that it was bad, as another way of shaming her and controlling her.

Who were they anyway, to tell her how to feel and what to do with those feelings? Who were they to tell her that things were fine and that it was just her attitude that needed adjusting? Things were _not_ fine and the world was a _royally screwed up_ place. She'd learned that better in Fairhaven than anywhere else she ever been.

_**So tired of the straight line / and everywhere you turn / there's vultures and thieves at your back / and the storm keeps on twisting / you keep on building the lie / that you make up for all that you lack**_

Swearing to herself, Sarah jumped to her feet, anger coursing through her veins. Her eyes jumped around wildly, searching. As she passed a large tree, gnarled and weathered, she purposely brushed hard against it, letting the rough, cracked bark on its exterior scrape the length of her arm.

The slight pain and resulting rush was nice...but not nearly enough.

She found a branch on the ground and cracked it in half over her knee, noting the bite it gave. (_sweet)_ Dropping to her knees and then sitting all the way down, she studied it, turning it this way and that. She decided on an end that looked wickedly sharp and brought the point to rest on her forearm.

_**It don't make no difference / escaping one last time / it's easier to believe in this sweet madness / oh this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees**_

The first cut, the sting of it, gave her an immediate high, as it always did. She watched as little beads of blood rose to the surface; little jewels sliding, joining together, more and more until heavy enough to slip down her arm like a tear. It was beautiful. It made her feel warm and calm.

She made a similar mark on her other arm. Each cut after that was delicately made, a slow deliberate slice, not too deep but just enough to remind her of how painfully alive she was.

Looking over her work, Sarah felt the same giddiness she always did, the same 'Oops, look what I've done now,' feeling and the other feelings began to recede until she could breathe once again.

She turned the stick over, trying the other, duller end. Noting the different sensation it gave as it tore through flesh shallowly. This one would bruise.

Finally Sarah felt the deep soul-cleansing breath that she sought and the blessed stillness that was left in its wake. She leaned back against the tree and stretched her legs out, distantly noticing the cracking of cramped muscles and laid her arms out in front of her, still watching. The numerous lacerations still bled, lazily joining or criss-crossing one another, finding the lowest point from which to drop. Already the blood was slowing but Sarah wasn't watching where it came out anymore, she was watching where it dripped off of her skin and fell to the earth below. A nickel sized area had turned a dark maroon color and she watched as the earth seemed to absorb the liquid. Her offering.

There was a noticeable stillness.

Then...there was no way to describe it but Sarah _felt_ the Labyrinth open up to her. It was the exact same feeling she'd had the other night except that she _wasn't sleeping this time!_

The wind blew; a gentle, warm wind. She put her head back and looked up. The tree branches seemed to sway over her, as if reaching to her, to cover her. Or perhaps comfort her.

Sunlight slanted down on her, seeming to come from multiple directions. It's beams crossed, creating a hazy prism-like glow and she thought of the way sunset looks when gazed at through tears. The thought had struck her so suddenly and naturally she wondered if this might not be the Labyrinth showing her its own emotion in the only way it could.

She could hardly believe this was happening and barely breathed for fear of shattering this moment. But still the thought came to her; maybe it was coming from the Labyrinth itself. It seemed to cry for her, with her, both for the pain it felt from her, but also to tell her that her sadness was nothing to feel shame over. That running from her feelings was causing her more depression and that to let herself just _be_ in it – the fear, the sadness, even the happiness – that would be to experience true freedom.

She realized she was crying again, softly. They weren't the deep crushing tears she'd shed before, nor were they expressly tears of joy. They were closer to the release of shared pain, the comfort of finding release in someone's arms. They were a healing, and with a sound that was somewhere between a sob and a laugh, Sarah leaned over, tilting her face and letting the tears drip freely to the ground. Giving back.

The sun-warmed wind picked up again and she felt it kiss at her wet cheeks, making her smile.

_**You are pulled from the wreckage / of your silent reverie **_

"Thank you," she murmered.

Something in the way the wind sent all the tiny leaves aflutter seemed to whisper 'friend' to her and she shut her eyes, listening.

'Come to us again. We are always here. Come to the place within sleep, that is not sleep. We will lift you. We will show you.'

_**You're in the arms of the angel / may you find some comfort here...**_

_**~* **_Lyrics from **Angel**, by Sarah Mclachlan*~


End file.
